He moved nearer to me and put his arms about me. “Let me hold you for a moment, Caroline my darling.”
We were silent for a few moments. I tried to draw myself away. I tried to deny the truth, but it was too strong for me. Whatever he had done I loved him.
He kissed me. He threw off my riding hat and ran his hands through my hair.
“Caroline,” he said. “I love you.”
This is madness, I thought. It can only lead to one thing. I had been humiliated once. Was I going to let it happen again? I knew what he was implying. I should be his mistress. Secret, clandestine, sordid … and in time he would grow tired. Goodbye. It was nice while it lasted. I had been wooed once for the fortune I was thought to have; and then discarded. Was I going to give way to my emotions? Was I going to allow myself to be used again?
I withdrew myself and said: “There must be no more meetings.”
“I must see you,” he said.
I shook my head.
“Let us take what happiness we can.”
“What of Gwennie?”
“She cares for the position. She is in love with the house and all it entails.”
“And not with you?”
“Certainly not with me.”
“I think she is in a way.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. I have seen her look at you. She loves the house, true. Why should she not? She bought it … but she bought you with it.”
“Please don’t talk of it in that way,” he begged. “Shall I tell you how it came about?”
“I know how it came about. It is a simple story. The house was falling about your heads. It needed a fortune spending on it. The family couldn’t save it. Moreover there were enormous debts. Mr. Arkwright came along and bought the house and then thought it was a good idea to buy the squire as well. It’s not a particularly original story.”
“That’s the bald outline. Shall I tell it my way? What you said is right about the house needing repair and the debts. Up to the time the Arkwrights came. But for one incident they would have gone away and it might have been that we should never have sold the place. Then I suppose we should have patched it up in some way. I would have set about improving my fortunes. I might have succeeded, who knows?”
“But it didn’t work out like that.”
“No, because of a certain incident. Gwennie said, ‘I must see that wonderful old minstrels’ gallery.’ She went up there on her own. I was in the hall with her father …”
“Yes,” I said faintly.
“Something happened in the gallery. Two people played a trick.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. I was in the hall, remember. When she screamed, I looked up. I was just in time to see what Gwennie saw. There was someone there … someone whom I recognized.”
I felt my heart begin to beat very fast. Paul leaned towards me and put his hand on it.
“It’s racing,” he said. “I know why. Do you know if that incident hadn’t happened the Artwrights would have gone away. They told me this afterwards. They liked the house but were appalled by its condition. He was too shrewd to see it as a good proposition. Yes, they would have gone away and we should never have seen them again … but for the ghosts in the gallery. The ghosts are not blameless in this.”
“So … you knew …” I said.
“I saw you … you particularly. I know now that Jago was with you. I know what your motives were … his rather, and you were helping him. I have been up to the attics and seen the clothes you wore. You see even then I was very much aware of you … dancing in and out of my life, the mischievous little girl indulging in a prank with my young brother. But for you … it would have been different.”
“I didn’t force you into marriage.”
“But you were in a way responsible for bringing it about.”
“Does Jago know … you know?”
“No. There’s no point in telling him. Moreover at the time we didn’t want the Arkwrights suing us—with even more reason than they had already. We looked after Gwennie and she and her father stayed at the house. They became enamoured of it and then they had to buy it and the idea came to them that …”
“They should buy the squire as well. A bonus with the house.”
He put his hand over mine and held it fast. “I’m telling you that you are in part responsible. You are involved in this, Caroline. Doesn’t it show how we can all do foolish things and wish we could have another chance. Knowing what you know, would you have gone up to the attics and played ghosts?”
I shook my head.
“Then understand. Caroline, understand me, the position I was in. My home … my family … everything I have been brought up with … it all depended on me.”
“I have always understood,” I said. “I have always known it was the way of the world. But I want to get away from it. I don’t want to be involved. I’ve been hurt and humiliated once and I am determined that it shall not happen again.”
“Do you think I would hurt or humiliate you? I love you. I want to care for you, protect you.”
“I can protect myself. It is something I am learning fast.”
“Caroline, don’t shut me out.”
“Oh Paul, how can I let you in?”
“We’ll find a way.”
I thought, What way is there? There is only one, and I must never allow my weakness, my passion for him, my love perhaps, to lead me down that path.
Yet I sat there and he kept my hand in his. I looked to the horizon where the stark moorland met the sky and I thought, Why did it have to be like this?
We were startled by the sound of horse’s hoofs in the distance. We scrambled to our feet. A trap drawn by a brown mare was coming across the path not far from us. I recognized the trap and horse and then the driver.
I said: “It’s Jamie McGill.”
He saw us and brought the horse to a standstill. He descended and the Jack Russell leaped out of the trap and started to scamper across the moor.
Jamie took off his cap and said: “Good-day, Miss Caroline … Mr. Landower.”
“Good-day,” we said.
“I’m just coming from the market gardens,” he went on. “I’ve been buying there for my garden. Miss Tressidor gives me leave to take the trap when I’ve a load to carry. Lionheart looks forward to a run on the moors when I come this way. He’s been asking for it as soon as we touched the edge of the moor.”
I said: “Mr. Landower and I met by chance over there by the mine.”
“Oh, the mine.” He frowned. “I always say to Lionheart, ‘Don’t go near the mine.’ “
“I hope he’s obedient,” said Paul.
“He knows.”
“Jamie believes that animals and insects understand what’s going on, don’t you, Jamie?”
He looked at me with his dreamy eyes which always seemed as though they were drained of colour.
“I know they understand, Miss Caroline. At least mine do.” He whistled. The dog was dashing along not far from the mine. He stopped in his tracks and came back, jumping up at Jamie and barking furiously.
“He knows, don’t you, Lion? Go on … five minutes more.”
Lionheart barked and dashed off.
“I wouldn’t go riding too near that mine, Miss Caroline,” said Jamie.
“I was giving her the same advice,” added Paul.
“There’s something about this place. I can feel it in the air. It’s not good … not good for beast or man.”
“I have been warned about the ground close to the mine being unsafe,” I told him.
“More than that, more than that,” said Jamie. “Things have happened here. It’s in the air.”
“They were mining tin here until a few years ago, weren’t they?” I asked.
“It’s more than twenty years since the mine was productive,” said Paul. I sensed his impatience. He wanted to get away from Jamie. “I daresay the horses are getting restive,” he said. He looked at me. “I think I am going your way. I suppose you are going back to the Manor?”