‘Sit down, Bob, don’t mind me,’ says Joyce.
‘Cup of tea?’ Ron asks.
‘Do you have milk?’
‘No,’ admits Ron.
‘Do you have tea?’
Ron thinks. ‘No, out of tea too. I’ve got lager?’
‘I’ll get myself a glass of water,’ says Joyce. She wanders into Ron’s kitchen, then calls over her shoulder, ‘So where are we with Tatiana?’
‘We’ve followed Donna’s advice to the letter,’ says Ibrahim.
‘She didn’t say write a fifteen-verse love poem,’ says Ron.
‘I have added my own touches,’ admits Ibrahim. ‘But the bait is laid, and the trap, we hope, is about to be sprung.’
Joyce walks back in, pulls a dining chair over to Ron’s desk and sits down next to Bob and Ibrahim. ‘Are you enjoying it, Bob?’
Bob thinks for a moment. ‘I suppose I am, yes. I’m only here as tech support, really, Ibrahim does the hard work, the poetry and so on. But occasionally the wi-fi goes off and I can be useful. So I find that fun.’
‘And we talk about the world,’ says Ron.
‘And, yes, we talk about the world,’ agrees Bob.
‘Tell me one thing Bob thinks about the world, Ron?’ asks Joyce. ‘From all your conversations?’
Ron thinks. ‘He likes computers.’
Joyce turns to the screen. Ibrahim has started typing. ‘So where are we?’
‘We’ve agreed to pay them a further £2,800,’ says Ibrahim. ‘But we’ve told Tatiana that our bank won’t allow us to transfer it to her. That they’ve flagged it as a suspicious payment.’
‘They did that with my payment when I bought my sofa,’ says Joyce. ‘They had me jumping through hoops.’
‘So we’ve asked if they know anyone in England who could come and collect the money from us and take it to her.’
‘An accomplice?’ says Joyce.
‘We arrange the meet,’ says Ron. ‘A real person shows up, we hand over the money, and Donna and her pals swoop in and arrest them.’
‘So a friend of Tatiana, rather than Tatiana,’ says Joyce.
‘There is no Tatiana,’ says Ibrahim.
‘Oh, yes,’ says Joyce.
‘I am communicating with this friend of Tatiana,’ says Ibrahim. ‘He is called Jeremmy. With two m’s.’
Joyce reads what’s on screen as the conversation continues.
JEREMMY:
You have the money?
MERVYN:
Tell me more about Tatiana? How long have you known her? Are her eyes as clear and blue as they seem? Do you simply fall into them?
JEREMMY:
I am free Wednesday.
MERVYN:
None of us are truly free, Jeremmy, all of us have our chains. You have a very unusual name? Is there a story of how it came about?
JEREMMY:
Are you free Wednesday also?
MERVYN:
Will you deliver the money to Tatiana yourself? If so, I envy you. I must wait over a week to see her face, to breathe her in.
JEREMMY:
London is best. London and Wednesday.
MERVYN:
No can do, I’m afraid, Jeremmy. I have limited mobility, and I find London very difficult. Also noisy, don’t you think? How do you bear it, Jeremmy? I suppose you are a younger man, and the excitement of a city drives the pulse? You will have to come here.
No reply is forthcoming for the moment.
‘That will be fun,’ says Joyce. ‘If he comes to Coopers Chase and gets arrested. One for the newsletter.’
‘I would like Mervyn to meet him,’ says Ibrahim. ‘Might provide some closure. How is he?’
‘Haven’t seen him,’ says Joyce.
‘Alan must miss Rosie terribly?’
Alan, hearing both his name and Rosie’s, falls to the floor and exposes his belly. Ron does the honours.
‘What did you make of yesterday?’ Ron asks Joyce.
‘I don’t trust Mitch, I don’t trust Luca, I don’t trust Samantha, and I don’t trust Garth,’ says Joyce. ‘Although he is very rugged.’
‘I saw you had the private room,’ says Bob. ‘It was the talk of the restaurant.’
‘But I also think this,’ says Joyce. ‘If any of them had the heroin, or knew where it was, then they wouldn’t have come to lunch. I think they were all fishing for clues.’
‘And Kuldesh?’
‘I think someone around that table killed him,’ says Joyce. ‘At least one of them.’
‘And what about the man I saw?’ says Bob. ‘Dominic, with the bullet through his head?’
‘Could have been any of them,’ says Ron. ‘Villains shoot villains. Who cares?’
‘Thank you, Ron,’ says Ibrahim. ‘Really helping with the load while Elizabeth is not with us.’
‘Where is she anyway, Joycey?’
‘You know as well as I do where she is,’ says Joyce. ‘I saw you hug Stephen.’
‘Yeah,’ says Ron, and looks at the label on his lager instead of at Joyce. ‘Should we be helping?’
‘Nothing to be done,’ says Ibrahim. ‘She knows we’re here.’
A new message appears on the computer screen.
JEREMMY:
OK, I come to you. You sure you have money?
MERVYN:
Oh, that’s very kind of you, Jeremmy, thank you for going out of your way. People often fail to make allowances for those older than them. I sense your kindness and sensitivity. Will you stay for dinner? I would love to get to know you a little better. Perhaps we will be firm friends once Tatiana arrives!
‘Have they not noticed you don’t sound like Mervyn any more?’ Joyce asks.
‘They are so close to the money, they just want to believe,’ says Ibrahim. ‘It’s the same trick they play. Dangle the thing you want most just out of reach. Mervyn wants love; they want Mervyn’s money.’
JEREMMY:
I cannot have dinner. I have to leave. You have the money in cash?
MERVYN:
I do. The whole £2,800. Money well spent.
JEREMMY:
£5,000 now. For expenses.
MERVYN:
I don’t have £5,000.
JEREMMY:
Just ask. Otherwise I can’t come and Tatiana will be angry with us both.
MERVYN:
Well, we can’t have that. When can you come?
JEREMMY:
Tomorrow.
‘No,’ says Joyce. ‘Wait until Elizabeth is back. It’ll be something nice for her. An arrest.’
MERVYN:
Next week. I have an operation on my testes this week.
Ibrahim looks at Joyce. ‘If I say “testes” that’s the end of any argument. No man wants to negotiate.’
JEREMMY:
OK, next Wednesday. We have your address.
MERVYN:
Smashing. Looking forward to meeting you, Jeremmy.
Joyce claps her hands, waking Alan. ‘Lovely! What shall we do next?’
‘We were going to drink whisky and watch the snooker,’ says Ron. ‘It’s the only sport we both like.’
‘Though I’m coming around to darts,’ says Ibrahim.
‘The darts,’ corrects Ron.
‘Perhaps I’ll stay?’ says Joyce. ‘We can have a good old natter?’
‘If we’re watching the snooker,’ says Ibrahim, ‘then the only good old natter is about the snooker. How many points Mark Selby might be ahead, for instance. Or whether Shaun Murphy is likely to pull off a particularly tricky safety shot. There will be no general conversation.’
‘Perhaps I will take Alan for a walk,’ says Joyce. ‘Bob, would you care to join me?’
‘I, uh …’ There is something Bob doesn’t want to say.