“Joe, have you made up your mind?” the old parrot swayed side to side toward him.
Joe looked up at a sky covered in haze, and answered dejectedly, “I want to find an exit.”
The bird stood its ground, dissatisfied. But wild laughter erupted behind Joe from another bird.
Maria heard him attentively to the end, and at last responded: “Vincent truly is your kindred spirit. When you pushed that small door open, didn’t you hesitate, even a little? It sounds so strange.”
“I thought of it too late.” He felt his will sinking.
The next day Joe took off from work. He began reading a book with only one page. The book was clothbound, with a drawing of a tall pine tree on the cover. Inside there was a single thick sheet of paper. This sheet could be unfolded to the length of the desk. The picture on the cover appeared to be of an anthill. The periphery of the anthill was densely written over with a miniature text, visible only under a magnifying glass. And once Joe looked with the glass, he discovered that he didn’t recognize a single word. This book had sat on the lowest shelf of the last rack in a small bookshop on a noisy street in the city. When Joe went to pay for it, the elderly bookstore owner came over and told him the book was not for sale.
“It was on the shelf, but it’s not for sale?” Joe was furious. He grasped the book tightly, almost afraid the shopkeeper would take it back by force.
“Fine, take it away, take it away! But don’t regret it!” He walked away resentfully.
The book’s price was unusually high, but Joe paid without hesitation.
Now he attempted to locate his own square in this anthill. Accompanying the slow movements of the magnifying glass in his hand, the floor under his feet began to rise and fall.
“Father, what are you doing in there?” Daniel shouted from outside the study.
“Be a good boy. Don’t come in, it’s a mess in here. .”
Daniel evidently didn’t dare enter. Joe sighed in relief and continued to wrestle with the book, which was flying around madly. At one point, he flopped down to the ground, his ear to the floor, and heard Maria’s voice underneath the floorboards. She sounded irritable. Joe didn’t care to listen to more, so he stood up, leaning against the wall. But he hadn’t been on his feet two minutes before he fell down onto the sofa. He looked around from the sofa and saw that the anthill had disappeared from that remarkable book and turned into a blank white space. He felt as if the sofa were a small boat on the rippling water. Daniel pushed the door slightly open and stuck his head in. His neck and face looked fresh and healthy.
“The study is finally mad, too,” Daniel said, looking pleased.
“Daniel, son, what are you planning to do?”
“Me? Don’t blame me, this is because of you, you bought that book. And there’s Mother. .”
He closed the door, apparently to go downstairs. Joe was astounded: “Does Daniel really know everything?”
In the chaos of the study, Joe started to think calmly. A dove was cooing. There was an actual dove inside the heap of books on the floor. Had it flown in through the window or had Maria put it there? Many of the books were damaged, their pages strewn all over. Joe leaned against the wall and slowly moved out onto the balcony. Before his eyes a familiar scene reappeared.
Maria and Daniel sat among the bushes drinking tea. The two cats walked, stately, back and forth. The balcony was directly in the line of sight of mother and son. Joe waved to them, but they did not respond. Did they even see him? The room shook again with violent tremors. Joe feared he would fall from the balcony, and quickly went inside, crawling aboard the sofa, holding on with a death grip. “And so there are things as strange as this,” he said to himself irritably.
Afterward the earthquake gradually subsided, although there were still aftershocks. The aftershocks continued until Maria called him to come downstairs and eat, when they finally disappeared. He went downstairs, disoriented, and sat at the dining table. Daniel wasn’t there.
“Did Daniel go to work?”
“So you know everything after all.”
“Of course. Doesn’t he know everything about me, too? He’s an ambitious young man. I just lived through an earthquake, damn it.”
“Daniel and I saw. You were shaking with fear. But we couldn’t have helped you, could we?”
A turkey was arranged on the table. Maria’s face appeared almost bewitching in the rising steam, her cheekbones almost like two red halos. Joe couldn’t make out her expression. It was as if she were covered by a membrane.
He had just finished eating and put down his chopsticks when an uninvited guest entered his yard. The man’s head was wrapped in a turban. He seemed travel-weary. Maria told Joe that the man was his driver. Joe recognized the familiar face. It brought to mind the time he’d stayed for a night and day in the north at Mr. Kim’s home. But when had Maria come to know the driver?
“I arrived a number of days ago, and I’ve been staying in the basement of the restaurant. You’ve seen me, you haven’t recognized me, and you’ve walked away from me. At the time I was drunk, down on the ground, but one of my eyes was always open.”
Maria called to him to put down the canvas bag he carried on his back, but he didn’t, standing in the doorway instead.
“Mr. Kim wants you to come and relive old dreams with him,” the driver said to Joe.
A vast pastureland floated up in Joe’s mind, the mountain peaks piled with snow and the eccentric owner of the house halfway up a mountain. The driver stood in front of him without moving. His face under his turban was extremely handsome in the evening glow. Joe was drawn in by him, thinking that in the city one very seldom met a good-looking man like this one. Was he the descendant of a warrior from ancient times? But when Joe had first met him on the pasture-land, he hadn’t been handsome. Maria’s eyes were fixed on the man. Joe remembered that she and this fellow had already been in contact, and jealousy unbidden leapt up in his heart. She, and him, and also Kim, what sort of connection did they share?
“How would I relive old dreams?” he asked.
“You’re already reliving old dreams.” His eyes were smiling.
“But I don’t understand.” Joe felt his whole body go hot and dry.
“I’ll go now.”
He walked from the yard, through the main gate, and disappeared into the golden sunset. Maria’s face glowed.
Joe couldn’t stay sitting at home. He went outside. He walked aimlessly and unconsciously reached the small bookstore, where he saw the fearsome shopkeeper. People came and went in the shop. With the dim lamplight, the people coming in all appeared furtive, but the bookstore owner sat haughtily on a high stool at the entrance. Over many years, Joe had bought many fine books here. Yet before it had been an ordinary little bookstore, doing a lackluster business. Who would have thought such a bookshop could survive in the city for so many years? Joe suspected that the bookstore owner might rely on an occasional shady transaction to support his livelihood. Joe had never spoken with the bookstore owner, who wouldn’t cater to people, as if he really were someone important. Nevertheless, his shop contained some truly interesting books.
Today was a little strange. After Joe entered the shop, the electricity suddenly shut off. He was shoved back and forth, and a bookcase was knocked over. All the books fell out. The bookstore owner cursed in the dark. Fortunately the lights were soon restored.
“Wherever you go, there are earthquakes,” the bookstore owner said, gathering the books.