We are creatures of fire. We produce fire when we are pleased, when we are angry, when we are deeply moved, as the Gedri produce the salt water they call tears. Few know it, but we also weep, in the last extremity of soul's darkness.
I felt a tear hiss its way down my faceplate.
Kedra saw and did nothing, just held me. I knew deep in my soul that he was remembering the night Yrais died, for then it was he who had wept. I had held him then, been his strength when my own heart was shattered and dead, and now that strength held me up.
Has ever father had such a son?
Blessed be the Winds, but such times are short. I touched his soulgem with my own, that intimacy that only parents and children share, and was again myself.
"Thank you," I said simply.
"I am thirsty, Father. Let us drink before we begin," he said, embarrassed I think.
It is often difficult even for such a one as Kedra to admit to great strength.
We went the few steps out the door of my chambers and both drank deeply of the stream that ran close by. The simple feel of the water, the taste of it on my tongue that I had not noticed for years, the smell of the slow-approaching spring beneath the earth were suddenly precious beyond words. The thought "you will never do that again" threatened me, but I turned from it. Time enough to grieve later.
Water. Fire. The island alight—no, there could be no mourning until we were safely gone.
With a heart weighted down with sorrow we turned back into my chamber. I had lit a fire in the main chamber both to hallow our actions and to aid us in our task.
We scraped together great handfuls of khaadish from the corner where I slept and began to make several deep bowls, breathing fire to melt and smooth the surface and to ease the shaping of them. When they were complete I sent Kedra out to gather moss while I made flat plates about the size of the bowls, bent them slightly that they might act as coverings, and laid them aside. I used the moss to line the bottom and sides of the bowls.
I could delay no longer. As we stood at the opening of the inner chamber, the wall facing us was covered in khaadish with the soulgems of our Ancestors set deep in the soft metal. I bowed to the gathered Ancestors of our people, reached up to the highest and oldest and with a careful talon dug it out of its setting. As I placed it gently in the vessel I felt my sorrow as a physical pain, but I could bear it. I had to.
"Kedra, of your kindness make a covering for the cask that holds the soulgems of the Lost," I said.
Poor things, borne here ages ago when first they were torn from their owners, and now forced to return to the place where it had happened.
Alas for us all.
It started again that night, of course. I should have known that even so simple a thing as a day of joy has its price.
When we returned to the inn I was tired and I went up to my room to rest. I found my clean, dry clothes folded neatly on the bed and all but danced a jig. I turned my pack inside out, brushed it clean, then turned it back and put my treasures carefully back in, swearing to myself this time to save one change of underwear and one clean shirt against the next time I was truly filthy. When I straightened it hit me, as before, like a dagger had plunged into my belly. I blessed true-speech and yelled for Varien to bring Rella as I crawled to the bed. They were with me in moments. Rella took one look, started swearing and left. She was back soon with a basin of hot water, some cloths, and the assurance that a different Healer had been sent for.
Varien said nothing aloud. He sat beside me, his back to Rella and her ministrations, his eyes gazing gently into mine. Instead of the whispering voices I now heard only his own glorious voice in my mind. There were no words, exactly, but I could feel the strength and love he was sending me surrounding me like a blanket.
"I went looking for a Mage for you, girl, but we're out of luck," said Rella quietly. "Of the three who live here, two are out of town and the third is a bone-setter." She winked at me over Varien's shoulder. "You wouldn't care to break a leg, would you? We could find out how good he is."
I managed to smile back, for the pain had lessened for the moment. "Thanks, Rella, you're a true friend, but I wouldn't dream of depriving you. Just come up here where I can reach you and I'll help you break your own leg, then you can find out."
A man walked in at that moment, someone I'd never seen before. He was middle-aged, of middle height, and he frowned at me. "And what's troubling you, young woman?" he asked, his voice and bearing the very portrait of self-importance. He walked towards me, pushing back his sleeves and starting to glow blue.
"A strange man just walked into my room and started asking me questions," I snarled. Something about him made me want to bite. "Maybe if he said who the devil he was I'd feel better."
"I am the Healer Kidleth. I was sent for," he replied, not bothered in the slightest.
"What happened to the woman who came yesterday?" I asked, as a distraction and to alert Rella. I bespoke Varien as fast as I could. "Akor, there's something terribly wrong with him. Can you see it? Am I crazy? I don't want him to touch me!"
Kidleth muttered something and Varien stepped forward and offered his hand. Kidleth took it for an instant, but no more, for Varien dropped it as fast as he could. I could nearly hear him hiss.
"You serve the Rakshasa!" he growled. He was breathing strangely. "Remember you can't breathe fire anymore," I told him swiftly. I heard his breathing change as he stepped forward, towering over the man and forcing him to move away from me and back towards the door. "How dare you come here reeking of the filth!"
The man tried to hold his ground for a moment. "I am the prime Healer with the House of Gundar in Kaibar, young man, you will not address me that way!"
"I am Varien of the line of Loriakeris," growled Varien fervently, "and I will kill you if you do not leave this place immediately."
I shivered. Varien was become Akor again, and saw the evil in this man's soul as deserving instant death, as would be the case on the Dragon Isle. His voice was the same kind of cold I had once heard from Jamie, when he was speaking with a man he was about to kill.
"Leave this instant, you idiot. Can't you see he means it?" snarled Rella. Her hand was on the hilt of her dagger.
The Healer turned and ran without another word. Rella picked up my boots and threw them to me. "I don't care how much it hurts, girl. Get dressed now. We're leaving. I'll go tell Jamie."
"Why?" I demanded.
"Have you forgotten, or didn't you hear for the pain?" she asked me as she swiftly gathered my belongings and tied up my pack. "House of Gundar! I told you when we were on the Dragon Isle—Marik's got demon callers in nearly every branch of his Merchant House, most of them Healers he's turned bad, and this idiot was one of them. If Marik or Berys seek us, they will know where we are within the hour. We have to go. Get dressed and meet me in the common room as fast as you can."
I gritted my teeth, dressed as quickly as I could and we hurried downstairs, but Rella was there before us. "Jamie's out saddling the horses," she said, smiling, calmly paying the innkeeper and chatting about the weather. We followed her outside. The twilight was fading and true dark setting in.