I walked along in silence for most of the journey. I was aware of a growing wrongness in the air and almost mentioned it, but I have learned over the years to conceal my feelings. I could have been mistaken. It might simply have been the altitude. Besides, I was in the midst of trying to understand so much all at once that I might only have been sensing my own roiling emotions. Aral spent a little time with me, enough to realise that I was restraining myself. She occasionally dropped back to walk with me in companionable silence, for which I was grateful, and once she muttered something along the lines of "You're doing well, Vil. I know it's hard, but best to wait until we can stop for a while." It did not make things any easier, but it was gratifying that she was aware of my self-control.
In fact she had no idea how controlled I really was. It had been simple enough for her to tell me to let loose my power that night, but I was the one who had actually done it. The thought still made me shake inside.
I had dared to harness the sky god, or forced me Death of the World to do something useful if you looked at it that way. I had undone the work of a decade to meet Lanen's desperate need, and not only had both the world and I survived, it had worked.
I was still in a kind of shock. It was not possible to do what I had done. I had changed that woman's blood to some unheard-of mixture of human and dragon and she was still alive. That wasn't possible. I felt that I was walking simultaneously in two worlds, the one that surrounded me at the moment, and the other in which reason had its way and she lost the children or died or both. Those were the only possible outcomes of her condition. At best I might have helped her to live, but the babes would die and life would go on.
That hadn't happened. I had let loose more of my power that night man I had dared to use for many years and the woman lived and would bear her children. What they might become I could not imagine, but that they would live was my responsibility.
Deep within me, where I could just bear to listen to it now, arose the thought that I might just be able to accept my power and use it, all of it—
All of it —and choose the way of the sky god after all. Lanen was a good person. With just a portion of that power I had kept her and her children alive and healthy.
What is the point of being the Death of the World in any case?
There's never anyone around to see you succeed.
By the time we camped the second night I had come to my own peace with what had happened, but I appeared to be in the minority. Will volunteered to take the first watch and we let him; anyone could see he had no chance of sleeping. Lanen and Varien weren't far behind. Only Rella and Jamie seemed to sleep well that night. I wondered if anyone's conscience could be that clear.
Aral had come and sat beside me when the fire was starting to die down. "Vil, I know you feel it," she said softly. "What in all the Hells is going on?"
"If I knew that I'd do my damnedest to do something about it so I could get some rest," I replied. "I've been trying to ignore the lot of you for hours now. You are a dear friend, Aral, but please, I haven't recovered yet from that healing session." It was a polite lie, but still it was better than simply asking her to go away. She raised an eyebrow at me, expressed dubious sympathy and left.
I lay down and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the atmosphere. Ever try to sleep through a night filled with a wildly raging wind? It was much the same thing.
Dawn couldn't come too soon. I had managed a few hours' sleep at the tail end of the night, but I woke feeling more weary than when I went to sleep and Varien wasn't much better. The misty grey morning didn't help any of us— we all woke slightly damp and a lot colder than we had been. Will had kept the fire going all night, which was a blessing. I wondered how he managed—he said he hadn't had a wink of sleep but he seemed more alert than the rest of us.
Oh—except for the old campaigners. Rella woke with her usual stiff back, which Jamie was learning to loosen; he said his side was paining him, but I caught his eye. "You're just out for any sympathy going," I said, laughing at him over my second mug of chelan.
"You know me too well," he said, stretching. "Next time I'm leaving you behind."
I would have kept on teasing him but to my astonishment Idai's voice interrupted me. "Varien? Lanen? May I bespeak you?"
"Of course, Idai," replied Varien, who had taken to wearing his circlet at all times. "What is the trouble I hear in your thoughts?"
"Have you heard from Hadreshikrar?" she asked, and now even I could hear the concern in her mind-voice. "I bespoke him just now and I heard him begin to respond, but after that came only silence."
"I have heard nothing, Lady," said Varien. I was staring at him, completely confused, but he took my hand and muttered aloud, "Not now, I will tell you in a moment."
"I take it you fear for him," he added in truespeech.
"He should have been there by now, Akhor," said Idai. I managed to keep back a yelp, but not very well. Fortunately, Idai heard nothing but Varien's voice reassuring her. "We will find him if we can, Lady," he said. "Shikrar has not called to us either—perhaps he rests after his journey?"
"That might be, Akhor, but I like it not that I cannot hear him. I pray you, take the time to find him, and rouse him if you can."
"We will do what we can," said Varien. He winced, and I realised that his head must be throbbing now with the pain of traespeech. It seemed worse for him at the moment than it was for me, and I found it hard enough.
"We thank you, Lady, for letting us know your concern. Let us all seek him and who finds him first tell the others," I said, and released the link as she agreed.
Varien took off the circlet and rubbed his temples, grimacing.
I just stared at him. Eventually he looked up at me. "What do you—ah," he said.
"Ah, indeed," I said, not knowing whether to be amused or annoyed or delighted. "How long have you known that Shikrar was on his way here?"
I gathered from the subdued spluttering noises that Rella had overheard.
"I have only known that for—ah—Lanen, in my fear for your safety I have neglected to tell you—a great deal has been happening among the Kantri of late," he ended lamely, looking for all the world like a small child who has forgotten to carry out its mother's errand. "Lanen—perhaps you should sit down." He smiled then, almost a mischievous grin. "It is a truth and it is most definitely spiky. In fact, it is also horned, tailed and taloned, and it is not he, it is they."
"They?" I asked weakly. "They who?"
Not to be outdone, Rella moved up to join us and added swiftly, "They who what?"
"They who will arrive here in Kolmar in a short time, although I know not precisely when. If Idai is correct, Shikrar should be here already."
"Who are they?' I all but shouted.
"The Kantri," he said, almost as if he did not believe it himself. "The Kantrishakrim, my people of old. They are coming here. The Dragon Isle, as you call it, is overrun with fire and ash and would have killed them all if they had stayed. There is nowhere else for them to go. They are coming here. The Kantri are coming to Kolmar."
I would have bet that six people could not stand silent that long for anything, and I would have lost.
When I could breathe again I laughed, long and loud. One of the Healers sent what I suspect was a treatment for shock to all of us, but I kept laughing.
"Either tell us what's so funny or stop cackling like an old hen," said Jamie dryly.