“So bright,” Alix complained. The light was reflecting off the snow outside and filling the room with a blazing white light. She put her hands over her eyes and the rings on her fingers threw off a thousand tiny rainbows over the satin-lined walls. “It’s a good thing I love you,” she said, pulling the sheet over her face. “Now go away.”
Berta came over and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Alix, you have to wake up.”
“I want to sleep. I was up all night on the telephone. Things are bad. Very bad. The cities are starving. And who will plant in the spring? All the boys are dead and buried, poor things. I’m very worried, Ber-tochka. Very worried indeed.”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Olga Fedorovna says there is going to be a revolution. Her husband wants it. Can you imagine that? A revolution here in Russia. Of course we always talked about it, but I never thought that it would actually happen.”
“Alix…”
“Did you know they tried to kill Rasputin?”
“Alix!”
“What? What is it?”
“Will you listen to me?”
“You’re scaring me. Is it the children?”
“I need to borrow five thousand rubles.”
She sucked in her breath and sat up. “Milochka… my God, that’s a lot of money.”
“I know. But I’ll pay it back.”
“I’m sure you will. I don’t doubt it for a minute. It’s just that—” There was a knock on the door and the maid came in. “The house Jew is here, Madame.”
“Why is everyone coming so early?”
“Can’t we finish this, please?” Berta asked.
“Yes, of course. But first I must get up.” Alix sighed and swung her legs out of bed. The maid hurried over to help her on with her dressing gown. “Come down with me. It won’t take a minute. He brought me some bracelets. I have to choose one so that Lenya doesn’t get me something awful for my name day.” She was heading for the bathroom and expected Berta to follow.
“I can’t stay, Alix. I need to know if you’re going to loan me the money.”
“It’s so much, milochka. I hate to bring this up at a time like this, but do you know how you’re going to pay it back?”
She followed Alix into the bathroom. “Hershel… who else?”
“You said he wasn’t answering your letters.”
“It’s the mail, Alix. And the war. Everybody knows that. He probably already sent the money. It was held up by the blockade. It’ll get here when it’s over.”
“Yes, of course it will. But just in case… not that it would ever happen this way, but let’s just say, Hershel doesn’t want to repay the loan. What if he has other plans for the money? How would you pay it back then? I know I’m being overly cautious, but it’s just that Lenya will ask me these questions and, naturally, I have to have an answer. You know how he is.”
“Of course I’d pay it back. I’d find work or sell something, I’d find a way. But it won’t happen like that. Hershel always pays his debts.”
“I know. I’m just being foolish. And you are so dear to me. I couldn’t deny you anything.” She thought for a moment and then brightened. “I have it. I won’t tell Lenya. Why does he have to know? I have my own money.”
After that the two women hugged and kissed and Berta left her in the bathroom splashing icy water on her face, which, as everyone knew, was good for the liver and circulation.
Once it was all settled Berta seemed to uncoil; every muscle in her body relaxed. She was flush with relief. On the way down the stairs she had an urge to talk to someone, to chatter about nothing, to be frivolous and flirty. Which explains why, when she saw the house Jew waiting in the little office off the foyer, she stopped to talk to him. He looked up nervously at her approach, a little man in a shabby tweed wearing a jaunty bow tie that seemed out of place with his grave expression.
“She’ll be down in a little while,” she said in Yiddish.
“Yes, thank you,” he replied, also in Yiddish. He seemed a little surprised at finding a young woman in this house who spoke to him in his mother tongue.
“What kind of jewelry did you bring?”
“Pearls.”
“She wants pearls?”
“Pearls with diamonds. She says she has a friend who has a bracelet she has always admired and I’m supposed to find her one just like it.”
Berta laughed and wished him good luck. She fingered the coveted bracelet on her wrist as she swept out the front door. It was a cold, bright morning and she took a deep and freeing breath. She hurried down the steps and stopped at the bottom to turn her face up to the sun and catch a little warmth before setting out for home. After that she stopped off at the butcher’s and the bakery and went to the produce market in search of the freshest potatoes, onions, and beets. At last she could open her purse without that familiar dread that came with every kopeck she spent. Now that the threat had been lifted, she could see how frightened she had been. She had contracted into a hard nut, shunning company, avoiding anyone she knew, not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning. But as she walked home at her customary clip, stopping to talk to shopkeepers and even smiling at a soldier who was selling sunflower seeds, she felt whole again, safe. She had pulled herself through.
When she got home she met her upstairs neighbor, Professor Bardygin, on the stair and stopped to invite him over for tea and pastries.
After that she climbed the last few steps to her door and was about to insert her key into the lock when Sura opened it and gave her mother a disapproving frown. “Where have you been? We were expecting you hours ago.”
“Well, I’m here now.”
“What’s all this?”
“If you help me in, I’ll show you.”
Vera hurried over to help. “So much, Madame?” she said peeking into a bag. “Butter,” she exclaimed.
“Did you get something for me?” Sura asked. Berta held up a pastry box. “What is it?”
“A surprise.”
Sura followed them into the kitchen, where they put the packages down on the butcher-block table. It was a small kitchen with a brick stove in the corner. Most of the shelves were empty except for a few dishes and glasses. Vera had her pick of shelves when it came to putting away the dry goods.
“Can I have some now?” asked Sura.
“No, you must wait for tea.”
“Are they little cakes?”
“We’ll see.”
“You must have found work,” Vera said, dumping the onions into a basket on the counter. Then she found the package of meat and her eyes widened. “Meat, Madame. You must’ve found a treasure.”
That afternoon they were in the kitchen preparing the stew. Vera had peeled the onions and Berta was chopping them. Her eyes were tearing so badly that she had to stop and splash them with cold water. The whole house smelled of frying onions, meat, and woodsmoke. The boy had delivered a bundle and now nearly every stove in the apartment was going and it was so warm that Berta had to take off her sweater.
“What if Professor Bardygin wants a chocolate one?” Sura asked. She was following her mother from table to sink and back again. She had stolen a look at the cakes and now she was intent on securing a chocolate one for herself.
“He won’t.”
“But what if he does?”
“We won’t let him.”
“But he’s our guest. We’ll have to let him.”
“Then you can have the other one. There are two chocolates.”
This seemed to satisfy her for the moment until she remembered she had a brother. “But what if Samuil wants it?”