Julie had gotten pregnant from her boyfriend Sean, who split when she told him. Abortions were legal then (this was a long time ago), but could be costly, and Julie, who was still going to college (as I was), had no money. She went to her parents, but they threw her out of the house. She thought about having the baby and putting it up for adoption, but she had no health insurance, wouldn’t be able to afford the actual birth, and regarded overpopulation as the end of the world. This, obviously, was before the deadheads arrived and clarified that issue.
So I’d lent her the money, and agreed to go with her to the clinic. She made the appointment, worried about it so much she didn’t sleep the night before, almost backed out twice on the drive there—and all so she could be confronted by the fine Christian citizens of Operation SoulSave.
They had seated themselves on either side of the walkway leading into the clinic. Even though it was in another state and time, they wore the same t-shirts and held the same signs. They were mainly male, or women in clothes so tight they seemed life-threatening. They all had vacuous smiles on their faces, that gave way to cruel snarls of contempt whenever anyone went into or out of the clinic doors.
Julie took one look at them and didn’t want to leave the car. I told her we’d be late, and she said it didn’t matter.
We’d talked about the morality of abortion already, and had agreed that it was obvious that the unformed, early fetus was only an extension of the mother’s body, and as such each woman had the right to make her own decision. I reminded Julie of this as she sat shivering in the car, and she’d said that wasn’t why she didn’t want to go past them.
She was afraid of them. She said they seemed like a mindless horde, capable of any violence they were directed to commit.
She’d had no idea how right she was.
We drove slowly around one corner. Sure enough, they stumbled after us. Then Dale threw it into fourth, and we screeched the rest of the way around the block.
When we got back to the main entrance, there were only five or six still there, not including one that dragged itself around on two partially eaten legs. Tom handed me the Uzi, while he took the .38 and cradled the box. Dale opted for a machete (I didn’t want to have to see him use it minutes before he operated on me).
We sprinted from car to door. Tom shot two right between the eyes. I raised the Uzi, forgetting its rapid-fire design, and ripped one of them completely apart. I felt my stomach turn over as I saw some stale gray stuff splatter the doors. Dale just kept running, shouldering the last two aside. One rebounded and grabbed his left arm. he whirled and brought the machete down, severing the thing’s hand, then kicking it away. He pried the dead hand from his arm, threw it aside, and told us to cover him while he unlocked the door.
As he fiddled with the keys, Tom shot the two Dale had barreled through. Then the .38 jammed. He began to fieldstrip it, and I looked nervously down the street, where the ones we’d tricked were shambling back, led by the gruesome Priest. Suddenly I felt something on my ankle. I looked down to see the legless one had dragged itself up the steps, and was bringing its gaping maw to bear on my lower calf. I freaked out and grabbed the Walther from Dale’s holster; I think I was screaming as I fired into the zombie’s peeling head. It died and let go, thick brown liquid draining onto its SAVE A SOUL—CLOSE A CLINIC t-shirt.
Then Dale had the doors open and we were in.
Later, Tom told me he had to pry the pistol from my fingers while Dale started up the generator and got things ready.
Then before I knew it Dale was there, in gloves and mask, saying he was ready.
I don’t remember much of the actual operation, except that I asked Tom to wait outside—and the sound. The horrible sound the whole time we were in there:
Them, pounding on the doors, slow heavy thuds, relentless, unmerciful.
Dale was, as I’ve said before, an excellent doctor, and it was over soon. He made sure I didn’t see what he put into the tiny wooden box Tom had carried in, and I didn’t ask. The box, which had been beautifully crafted by Rudy V., would be taken back to the Colony and buried there.
There was one thing I had to ask, though, as morbid a thought as it was. I had to know if—I had to be sure Dale had—God, I can’t even write it.
But he knew what I was asking, and as he stripped off the gloves he told me I didn’t have to worry. None of the ones aborted had ever come back. The rest of us had to be cremated or have the brain destroyed upon death, or we’d resurrect.
How ironic, I thought, that this was how we would finally lay to rest the Great Debate. They weren’t human enough to come back. Abortion isn’t murder.
Getting out would be harder than getting in, but Dale had it all down. Tom would crawl out a side window, drawing them away from Dale and me. Dale would lock the front door while Tom and I covered him, then we’d all head for the jeep. I was, of course, still weak, and Tom didn’t want to leave my side, but Dale told him it was the safest way, and he’d be sure I was okay. Tom reluctantly agreed.
It went down without mishap. They were slow and easily confused, and by the time they saw two of us on the stoop and one by the jeep, they didn’t know which way to turn. Tom shot a couple who were in our way. Once Dale had the doors locked, he pocketed the keys, took the Uzi from me, and I carried the little coffin as we ran for the jeep.
Once we were inside, Dale started it up and pulled away. They were already hammering on the sides, clawing the welded cage, drooling a yellowish bile. One wouldn’t let go as we drove off, and it got dragged fifty feet before its fingers tore off. Tom actually shouted something at it.
Dale was ready to speed out of town when I asked him to stop the jeep and go back. He stopped, then both he and Tom turned to stare at me, as openmouthed as any deadhead. They asked why, and I just handed Tom our box, took the rifle, got out and started walking back.
They ran up on either side of me, Tom saying I was still delirious from the operation, Dale arguing I could start hemorrhaging seriously. I ignored them both as I saw the deadheads at the end of the street staggering forward now.
I had to wipe tears out of my eyes—I didn’t even know I was crying—as I raised the rifle and sighted on the first one. I fired, and saw it flung backwards to lie unmoving in the street, truly finally dead. Tom and Dale both tried to take the rifle from me, but I shrugged them off and fired again. Tom argued we were done here, and there was no point in wasting ammo on these fuckers, but I told him I had to. Then I told him—told them both—why.
After that they left me alone until all the deadheads were gone but one—the Priest. My arms were shaking so bad I almost couldn’t hold the gun steady, but he was close—thirty feet away now—and hard to miss. My first shot blew part of his neck—and whatever was left of the Collar—away, but the last one brought him down.
I dropped the gun, and Tom and Dale had to carry me back to the jeep.
But now I’m at home in bed, and Dale says I’m physically okay. I miss the child I’ll never know, a pain which far outweighs the physical discomfort, but Jessie is here, and she hugs me a long time before Tom sends her to bed.
Now I’m smiling as I think of that street, and write this. Because I know that none of the women who come after me will have to endure more than the horror of giving up part of themselves.