‘Are you sure, Father?’ said Mrs Belderboss, a little disappointed.
‘Aye. Praying’s like tuning a radio.’
‘Come again?’
‘You have to be on the right frequency, otherwise all God hears is static.’
‘Yes, I see what you mean,’ said Mrs Belderboss, smiling sympathetically. ‘Well, as long as you’re sure, Father.’
‘Aye. I’m fairly worn out, to be honest with you. And there’s a long drive home tomorrow.’
‘Yes,’ said Mrs Belderboss with a sigh. ‘It has been a bit tiring all said, hasn’t it? Nothing’s gone quite right. It’s all been so difficult. It’s such a pity, Father, that you’ve not seen this place as it used to be.’
‘Places do change, Mary,’ Mr Belderboss chipped in.
‘Oh I know that,’ she replied. ‘But it’s been such a baptism of fire for Father. I mean, Wilfred knew us and he knew this place. He would have coped so much better with all these little problems we’ve had.’
‘True,’ said Mr Belderboss. ‘He was a firm hand on the tiller.’
‘It’s no reflection of you, Father,’ Mrs Belderboss went on. ‘It’s rather been our fault, I feel, asking you to take on too much too quickly. I mean, it’s like anything, being a priest. It takes time to get things right, doesn’t it, Esther?’
‘Most definitely.’
Mummer looked at Father Bernard who said nothing more and went out of the room. Mummer resettled herself and noticed that Farther was staring at her.
‘What?’ she said.
‘What’s the matter with you?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Why did you speak to Father like that?’
‘Like what?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Do I?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘You do.’
Mummer looked at Mr and Mrs Belderboss.
‘I’m sorry Reg, Mary,’ she said. ‘My husband’s obviously a little out of sorts.’
‘Out of sorts?’ Farther raised his voice and Mr and Mrs Belderboss exchanged looks. ‘I think you’re the one out of sorts, Esther,’ he said.
‘And is it any wonder?’ Mummer snapped. ‘Considering what we’ve been through since we got here? This whole thing has been an utter farce.’
‘Now steady on,’ Mr Belderboss said.
‘Esther,’ said Mrs Belderboss, eyeing the door. ‘He’ll hear you.’
‘I don’t care,’ said Mummer, her colour rising in a way I’d rarely seen before. ‘I will have my say about Father Bernard McGill. He’s a mistake. He’s not right for us. I’ve never met any priest so flippant and carefree with his authority. He makes a mockery of everything we do. I for one will be very glad when he’s sent back to Ireland to his own kind.’
Amid the angry voices, Hanny got up and went over to the window. He picked up the stuffed hare and smoothed his hand over its back.
‘He’s still a young man, Esther,’ said Mrs Belderboss. ‘He just needs time to mature into someone like Father Wilfred. He will one day. I’m convinced of it.’
‘Mary,’ said Mummer. ‘You were convinced that he wouldn’t have gone drinking, but he did. And he invited those louts over.’
‘It was only a bit of fun,’ said Farther. ‘You said so yourself.’
‘Fun?’ said Mummer. ‘You weren’t the one being flung around the room like a rag doll.’
‘I didn’t see you complaining too much,’ said Farther.
‘And I didn’t see you stepping in to stop it,’ said Mummer. ‘No, you were too busy egging them on with everyone else.’
‘Good God,’ she went on. ‘Just listen to what I’m saying. This was meant to be a pilgrimage, a chance for us all to find some peace after everything that’s happened and I’m having to worry about strange, drunk men dancing around the sitting room at the invite of the priest who was supposed to be looking after us. What on earth did he think we’d come here for? Larks in the country? To trail around finding lost causes like Clement Parry and his mother? Bringing in every waif and stray he could find? Poking around in business that doesn’t concern him or us? Everything’s falling apart. I mean, he couldn’t even keep us all together.’
‘It wasn’t his fault that Joan and David went home,’ said Farther.
‘It was,’ said Mummer. ‘And he knows it was. That’s why he was so late back. Drowning his sorrows in The Bell and Anchor no doubt.’
‘Esther!’ Farther raised his voice again. ‘You can’t say things like that. Especially not about a priest. That’s how rumours start.’
‘Yes, I know,’ said Mummer, looking pointedly at Mr Belderboss.
‘What?’ he said. ‘What have I done?’
‘The other day you left Father Bernard with lots of questions that I don’t really think we want him to be trying to answer.’
‘It’s not Reg’s fault, Esther,’ said Mrs Belderboss. ‘He was just upset, that’s all. His emotions got the better of him.’
‘You let Father Bernard bully you,’ said Mummer.
‘Oh, come on. It was hardly an interrogation,’ said Farther. ‘I’m sure he was only trying to help.’
‘We’ve got to be more careful,’ said Mummer. ‘None of us really knows what happened to Wilfred and we’re probably never likely to. We can’t give into speculation. If we do that then we’re handing over the memory of Wilfred to those who don’t care about him like we do.’
‘This is Reg’s brother you’re talking about,’ said Farther. ‘I think it’s up to him what he says about Wilfred.’
‘No,’ said Mr Belderboss. ‘Esther’s right. We must keep our suspicions to ourselves. We can’t prove anything. I mean if I had his diary it might tell us once and for all.’
‘I agree,’ said Mrs Belderboss. ‘We can’t let any rumours spread. It’d ruin Saint Jude’s.’
‘Well, if there are rumours, I’m sure they’re out there by now,’ said Farther. ‘You can’t stop people talking. And anyway rumours come and go. They’ll be talking about something else next week. You know what people are like.’
‘I’m not sure you’ve quite grasped how serious this is,’ said Mummer. ‘People might very well lose interest in gossip and move on, but it’s left in their minds as fact. If people have it in their heads that Father Wilfred — you know — then it would turn everything he ever said into a lie. And what would that do to people’s faith?’
‘Faith’s not an exact science, Esther,’ said Farther.
‘Yes it is,’ said Mummer. ‘You either have it or you don’t. It’s quite simple.’
‘Esther’s right,’ said Mr Belderboss.
Mrs Belderboss nodded in agreement.
‘Listen,’ said Farther. ‘I think that if we have even the slightest suspicion that Wilfred took his own life then we ought to report it to the police.’
‘And what good would that do?’ said Mummer.
‘It would be the right thing to do.’
‘If we can’t prove it, how would they?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think it matters if they do prove it. Wouldn’t it at least take the burden off Reg a little?’
‘Well, we can’t say anything to the contrary now, can we?’ said Mummer. ‘How would that look three months down the line?’
‘Like we had something to hide,’ Mr Belderboss said.
‘It sounds like we do,’ said Farther.
The apostle clock chimed for midnight. Everyone waited for it to stop.
‘Well, Reg and I are a little tired,’ said Mrs Belderboss once the last ring had ended.
‘It is quite late, I suppose,’ said Mr Belderboss. ‘We’ll see you all in the morning.’
Farther helped Mrs Belderboss to her feet and she held his arm as he led her to the door. Mr Belderboss used his stick to get himself out of the chair. Farther opened the door for them and they said goodnight and went off to their room along the corridor.