“Marco, seriously…” Ted kept his voice level and smooth. He’d dealt with a thousand of Marco’s bad moods and snapping back was going to get them precisely nowhere. “I don’t want to go back. I am happy to put all that behind us. But…”
No! Idiot! Not “but”. Anything but “but”.
Marco’s jaw clenched. Ted saw it all in his eyes, what he thought Ted was thinking: But I have doubts. But I have regrets. But I’m lying. That’s not what he was about to say. He had to finish his sentence now, he couldn’t leave it hanging, though he knew how weak it would sound to Marco, how hollowly it would ring against the assumptions he had already made. “But I was letting it all get on top of me. I was just feeling down about it. Come on, be reasonable◦– I’m allowed to be a bit sad, aren’t I?”
Big mistake. Don’t flip it back.
Marco tutted and turned away from him.
Ted was about to say something when he heard footsteps. Last night’s arrival, joining them for breakfast. He glanced towards the door to see a woman, middle aged, in a sharp grey skirt suit. Needlessly formal, Ted thought. He tightened the belt on his robe, suddenly self-conscious.
“That could be the last other human face we see,” he whispered, nodding towards the woman.
“See?” Marco hissed. “You don’t want to go.”
“What? How do you get that?”
As the woman picked some bacon out of one of the heated trays, she glanced in their direction. She smiled thinly, and Ted tried to smile back, but everyone in the room knew there was an argument going on and nobody wanted to get any more involved than they already were.
“I don’t care if I never see another living soul,” said Marco. “But you’re obviously going to miss it. You don’t want to go.”
“I do. Jesus, Marco. I want to go.”
“I thought this is what you wanted.” (It is! Didn’t I just say that?) “A new start, away from all that bullshit behind us.”
“Yes, I do. Bu… However, it’s not been that easy to just throw it all away. I mean, I’m ready now, but–”
“But what?”
Bollocks.
“But what, Ted? You didn’t want to throw it all away? Fine. I believe you. But you were fucking happy enough to sell it when it came down to it.”
“You make it sound like it was easy. You think this whole fucking thing is easy. This is my life you’re talking about.”
“Wrong. It was your life.” Marco stood. “Kiss it goodbye, Ted. It’s gone.”
He marched towards the door without looking back. His retreating footsteps were swallowed by the silence.
He heard the woman clear her throat.
Now. Right about now, Neptune, would be a good time to start roaring.
He glanced over at the woman. She had taken a seat nearer the gallery window, and he thought to himself: I have never seen someone more fascinated by the view from a window.
Ted spent a few more hours in the entertainment suite. Most of that time he passed by lying on one of the ridiculously squishy sofas◦– the last time you’ll see upholstery like this◦– trying to nap. But he couldn’t ever quite get to sleep, Marco’s angry words still ringing around his head.
Ted had not, it would probably be fair to say, handled the situation well.
They had to leave the next morning. Their permit window was narrow, and if they missed it, that was it, the deal with FentiCorp was over and they would have to limp home◦– at their own expense. And then, they’d have to live with limited access to the inner planets only. Marco would hate that even more.
He swung his legs round and sat up. If he knew Marco◦– although this morning might suggest that he didn’t◦– he’d be in the spa. On the running machine, probably. Or maybe in the sauna. One way or another, he’d be sweating out his bad mood.
How long will we spend aboard our ship? We might die in there. Just me and him, living out the rest of our lives, winding each other up. How’s he going to sweat out his moods in there? We’ll have to build a sauna. It can’t be that difficult. There must be a way. We won’t last five minutes without one. I’ll figure out how to make one. I have to.
Knotting the belt on his robe, he crossed the lobby, following the tinkling music spilling from the spa’s smoked-glass doors. The rugs felt warm under his bare feet and he caught himself thinking, This is no way to spend your last day in sight of the Sun. In a dressing gown.
He decided he’d get dressed◦– after he apologised to Marco.
Ted found him stepping out of the showers, towelling his hair. His eyes were scrunched up tight, so he didn’t spot him at first. Ted cleared his throat, and said Marco’s name out loud.
Marco opened his eyes and froze, his long fringe held in a bunch of towel.
Ted stepped forward. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I messed up. I was too caught up in my thoughts, and I said some stupid things.”
Marco said nothing. He barely moved a muscle. Water pooled around his feet.
“I’m just nervous,” Ted added with a shrug. “You know, who knows what’s out there? I was just freaking out a bit, I didn’t know what I was thinking. But look…”
Ted moved closer.
Marco lowered the towel, holding it loosely at his waist.
Ted put his hand on Marco’s arm◦– the same one holding the towel. Marco stared at it like he’d never seen it before. Then his eyes met Ted’s. Ted smiled and moved closer still.
“Everything we’re leaving behind,” Ted said, “all that shit◦– it’s right that we’re putting it behind us. But that doesn’t make what’s in front of us any less scary.”
Now Marco smiled too◦– that soft smile that puffed his cheeks up like pillows. Ted took hold of Marco’s fingers and gently insinuated them into his grip; Marco dropped the towel and held Ted’s hand.
“I’m sorry,” Ted said. “Make it better?”
Marco’s smiled broadened. He tipped his head to meet Ted’s. They kissed.
“A blank slate, yeah? That’s what we need, isn’t it? A blank slate. A fresh start. A chance to build a new life. Just for us. You and me, Marco. That’s all I want.”
Afterwards, Ted showered, but when he came out, there was no sign of Marco at all. He wasn’t in the room either◦– his stuff was gone, too. A red light was blinking on the console by the bed.
“Trident?” said Ted to his room, waiting for the answering bing of the hotel’s computer system. “Has Marco checked out?”
A soft voice replied: “Yes. Mr. Campbell is currently in the departures suite. He told me to say he would wait for you there.”
Keen. Very Marco.
Everyone who wanted to leave the solar system had to do so via the Trident, and everyone who stayed at the Trident was required to spend their final night in the departures suite. This room was effectively quarantined from the rest of the hotel, and in the final hours before departure, guests were given one last medical exam and had to fill out a few more bits of FentiCorp paperwork. Once you went in, that was it.
No way back.
Ted took a deep breath.
He dumped the robe on the floor, threw on a T-shirt and jeans, then crammed the rest of his clothes into his bag. Marco had already taken the toiletries from the bathroom, so Ted was at the reception console in the lobby within just a few minutes.