He leaned in as if to kiss me. Something on my face stopped him. "I believe you."
"Good," I said. I slipped the knife back in its sheath. I stared at his face while I did it. I didn't need to look to put the knife away. "Never underestimate me, Richard, and what I'm willing to do to stay alive. To keep others alive. I never want us to fight, not like that, but if you don't control your pack, then I will."
He moved away from me. His face looked almost angry. "Is that a threat?"
"It's out of control, and you know it. I can't promise not to hurt them unless you can guarantee that they'll behave. And you can't do that."
"No, I can't guarantee that." He didn't like saying it.
"Then don't ask me to promise not to hurt them."
"Can you at least try not to kill them, as a first option?"
I thought about that. "I don't know. Maybe."
"You can't just say, 'Yes, Richard, I won't kill your friends'?"
"It would be a lie."
He nodded. "I suppose so."
I heard the rustle of leather from the backseat as Stephen moved around. "Louie's out of it, but he'll be okay."
"How did you get him into the Jeep?" Richard asked.
I just stared at him.
He had the grace to look embarrassed. "You carried him. I knew that." He touched the cut on my forehead, gently. It still hurt. "Even with this, you carried him."
"It was either that or let the cops have him. What would have happened if they'd piled him into an ambulance and he'd started healing like that?"
"They'd have known what he was," Richard said.
Stephen was leaning on the back of the seat, chin resting on his forearms. He seemed to have forgotten that I'd nearly stabbed him, or maybe he was used to being threatened. Maybe. Up close his eyes were the startled blue of cornflowers. With his blond hair spitting around his face he looked like one of those china dolls that you buy in exclusive shops, that you never let children play with.
"I can take Louie to my place," he said.
"No," I said.
They both looked at me, surprised. I wasn't sure what to say, but I knew that Richard could not come with me to Guilty Pleasures. If I had any hope of keeping us all alive, Richard could not be on the spot when I broke the news.
"I thought I'd drive you home," Richard said, "or to the nearest hospital, whichever you need."
It would have been my preference to, but not tonight. "Louie's your best friend. I thought you might want to take care of him."
He was staring at me, lovely brown eyes narrowed into suspicious squints. "You're trying to get rid of me. Why?"
My head hurt. I couldn't think of a good lie. I didn't think he'd buy a bad one. "How much do you trust Stephen?"
The question seemed to throw him off balance. "I trust him."
His first reaction was to say yes, I trust him, but he hadn't thought about it first. "No, Richard, I mean do you trust him not to talk to Jean-Claude or Marcus?"
"I wouldn't tell Marcus anything you didn't want me to," Stephen said.
"And Jean-Claude?" I asked.
Stephen looked uncomfortable, but said, "If he asked a direct question, I'd have to give a direct answer."
"How can you owe more allegiance to the Master of the City than to your own pack leader?"
"I follow Richard, not Marcus."
I glanced at Richard. "A little palace revolt?"
"Raina wanted him in the movies. I stepped in and stopped it."
"Marcus must really hate you," I said.
"He fears me," Richard said.
"Even worse," I said.
Richard didn't say anything. He knew the situation better than I did, even if he wasn't willing to do the ultimate deeds.
"Fine, I'd planned to tell Jean-Claude that you proposed."
"You proposed," Stephen said. His voice held a lilt of surprise. "Did she say yes?"
Richard nodded.
A took of delight swept over Stephen's face. "Way to go," His face fell into sadness. It was like watching wind over a grassy field, everything visible on the surface. "Jean-Claude is going to go ape-shit."
"I couldn't have said it better myself."
"Then why tell him tonight?" Richard asked. "Why not wait? You're not sure about marrying me anymore. Are you?"
"No," I said. I hated saying it, but it was the truth. I loved him already, but if it went much further it would be too late. If I had any doubts I needed to work them out now. Staring into his face, smelling the warm scent of his aftershave, I wished I could have thrown caution to the wind. Falling into his arms. But I couldn't. I just couldn't, not unless I was sure.
"Then why tell him at all? Unless you're planning to elope and didn't tell me, we have some time."
I sighed. I told him why it had to be tonight. "You can't go with me."
"I won't let you go alone," he said.
"Richard, if you are Johnny-on-the-spot when he finds out, he'll try to kill you, and I'll try to kill him to protect you." I shook my head. "If the shit hits the fan, this could end up like Hamlet."
"How like Hamlet?" Stephen asked.
"Everybody dead," I said.
"Oh," he said.
"You'd kill Jean-Claude to protect me, even after what you saw last night?"
I stared at him. I tried to read behind his eyeballs to know if there was anybody home I could really talk to. He was still Richard. With his love of the outdoors, any activity that would get you messy, and a smile that warmed me to my toes. I wasn't sure I could marry him, but I was positive I couldn't let anybody kill him.
"Yes."
"You won't marry me, but you'll kill for me. I don't understand that."
"Ask me if I still love you, Richard. That answer's still yes."
"How can I let you face him alone?"
"I've been doing just fine without you."
He touched my forehead, and I winced. "You don't took fine."
"Jean-Claude won't hurt me."
"You don't know that for sure," he said.
He had a point there. "You can't protect me, Richard. Your being there will get us both killed."
"I can't let you go alone."
"Don't go all manly on me, Richard. It's a luxury that we can't afford. If saying yes to marriage is going to make you behave like an idiot, it can be changed."
"You took back your yes."
"It's not a definite no, either," I said.
"Just trying to protect you would make you say no?"
"I don't need your protection, Richard. I don't even want it."
He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. "If I play the white knight, you'll leave me."
"If you think you need to play the white knight, then you don't know me at all."
He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at me. "Maybe I want to be your white knight."
"That's your problem."
He smiled. "I guess so."
"If you can drive the Jeep back to my apartment, I'll take a cab."
"Stephen can drive you," he said. He volunteered him without even wondering what Stephen would say about it. It was arrogant.
"No, I'll take a cab."
"I don't mind," Stephen said. "I'm due back at Guilty Pleasures tonight anyway."
I glanced at him. "What do you do for a living, Stephen?"
He laid his cheek on his forearm and smiled at me. He managed to look winsome and sexy at the same time. "I'm a stripper," he said.
Of course he was. I wanted to point out that he'd refused to be in a pornographic movie, but he still stripped. But taking your clothes off down to tasteful undies was not the same thing as having sex on screen. Not even close.