Big Black saw Peter lifting his eyes up to the sunshine, and he smiled. "Makes you kinda forget, don't it," he said quietly. "Nice day like this."
Peter nodded.
"Day like this," the big man continued, "it don't seem fair to be sick."
Little Black joined in, unexpectedly. "You know, Peter, day like this actually makes things worse around here. Makes everyone get this little taste of what they missing. You can smell the world happening, like it's just out there beyond the walls. Cold day. Rainy day. Windy and snowy. Those are the days that everyone just gets up and goes along. Never take any notice. But a beautiful day like this one, right hard on just about everybody."
Peter didn't reply, until Big Black added, "Really hard on your little friend. C-Bird still got hopes and dreams. This is the sort of day that is real hard on those, because it makes you see just how far away all those things are."
"He'll get out," Peter said. "And soon, too. There can't be all that much holding him in here."
Big Black sighed. "I wish that were true. C-Bird, he's got a world of trouble."
"Francis?" Peter asked incredulously. "But he's harmless. Any damn fool can see that. I mean, he probably shouldn't be here at all…"
Little Black shook his head, as if indicating that neither what Peter said was true, nor could the Fireman see what they saw, but didn't say anything. Peter stole a glance toward the main entrance to the hospital, with its huge wrought-iron gate and solid brick wall. In prison, he thought, confinement was always an issue of time. The act denned the time. It could be one or two years, or twenty or thirty, but it was always a finite amount, even for those condemned to life, because it was still measured in days, weeks, and months, and eventually, inevitably, there was either a parole board hearing scheduled or death awaiting. That wasn't true for the mental hospital, he realized, because one's stay there was defined by something far more elusive and far more difficult to obtain.
Big Black seemed to be able to guess what Peter was thinking, because he chimed in again, sadness still lurking in his voice. "Even if he gets his self a release hearing, he's got a long way to go before they let him out of here."
"That doesn't make any sense," Peter said. "Francis is smart and wouldn't hurt a flea…"
"Yeah," Little Black jumped in,"… and he's still hearing voices even with the medications and the big doc can't get him to understand why he's here, and Mister Evil don't like him none, though can't see why not. What all that adds up to, Peter, is your friend is gonna be here, and there ain't no hearing gonna be scheduled for him. Not like some of the others here. And sure as hell not like you."
Peter started to reply, then clamped his mouth shut. They walked on for a moment in silence, as he let the day's warmth try to erase the cold thoughts that the two attendants had chilled him with. Finally, he said, "You're wrong. You're both wrong. He's going to get out. Go home. I know it."
"Ain't nobody at his home wants him," Big Black said.
"Not like you," Little Black said. "Everybody wants a piece of the Fireman. You gonna end up somewhere, but it ain't gonna be here."
"Yeah," Peter said, bitterly. "Back in prison. Where I belong. Doing twenty to life."
Little Black shrugged, as if to say that once again Peter had managed to get something if not precisely wrong, at least skewed slightly. They took a few more strides toward the Williams dormitory.
"Keep your head down," Little Black said, as they approached the side entrance to Williams.
Peter lowered his head again, and dropped his eyes so that he was staring at the dusty black path they walked. It was difficult, he thought, because every shaft of sunlight that hit his back reminded him of being someplace else, and every breath of warm wind suggested happier times. He stepped forward, insisting to himself that it served no purpose to remember what he had once been, and what he now was, and that he should only look to what he would become. This was hard, he realized, because every time he looked at Lucy he saw a life that might have been his, but which had eluded him, and he thought, not for the first time, that every step he took only brought him a bit closer to some fearsome precipice, where he teetered unsteadily, maintaining his balance only with the most tenuous grip on icy rocks, held in place by thin ropes that were fraying quickly.
The man directly across from her smiled blankly but said nothing.
For the second time, Lucy asked, "Do you remember the nurse-trainee that went by the nickname Short Blond?"
The man rocked forward in the seat and moaned slightly. It was neither a yes moan, nor a no moan, simply a sound of acknowledgment. At least, Francis would have described the sound as a moan, but that was for lack of any better word, because the man didn't seem discomfited in the slightest, either by the question, the stiff-backed chair or the woman prosecutor sitting across from him. He was a hulking, broad-shouldered man, with hair cropped short and a wide-eyed expression. A small line of spittle was collected at the corner of his mouth, and he rocked to a rhythm that played only in his own ears.
"Will you answer any questions?" Lucy Jones asked, frustration creeping into her voice.
Again, the man remained silent, except for the small creaking noise of the chair he sat upon, as he rocked back and forth. Francis looked down at the man's hands, which were large and gnarled, almost as weathered as an old man's hands, which wasn't at all right, because he thought the silent man was probably not much older than he was. Sometimes Francis thought that inside the mental hospital, the ordinary rules of aging were somehow altered. Young people looked old. Old people looked ancient. Men and women who should have had vitality in every heartbeat, dragged as if the weight of years marred every step, while some who were nearly finished with life had childlike simplicity and needs. For a second, he glanced down at his own hands, as if to check that they were still more or less age appropriate. Then he looked back to the big man's. His hands were connected to massive forearms, and knotted, muscled arms. Every vein that stood out spoke of barely restrained power.
"Is there something wrong?" Lucy asked.
The man gave out another growling, low-pitched grunt, that had little to do with any language Francis had ever heard before he'd arrived at the hospital, but one which he'd grown accustomed to hearing in the dayroom. It was an animal noise, expressing something simple, like hunger or thirst, lacking the edge that it might have, if anger was the basis of the sound.