“Poor man,” she said sympathetically. “But with the assortment of members I gave you, you should be able to impress women.”
“I want a woman who wants me for myself, not my fancy penis. A woman like you.” He paused. “I mean, not you yourself, but—”
“One who matches my appearance, intelligence, and personality, but who isn’t all tied up in her profession. Who would have time for you.”
“That’s it. I know it’s a foolish dream.”
She sighed, and the motion extended into her vagina, generating another wave of feeling around the Spire. “Prior, you’re a decent man, and you have considerable courage, as your adventure on Mt. Icecream demonstrated. You’d make any woman a good if dull husband. If I were looking for a regular man, I’d consider you. But I’m not, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to pretend otherwise.”
“I understand. But decent men don’t get the girls. It’s the big, strong, handsome, rich men who have girl appeal.”
“Yes, of course. It’s our nature to desire that sort of thing, just as it is the nature of men to desire women like me and my sister.”
“Tantamount,” he agreed.
“I could have gone for her, if she hadn’t ripped off my penis.”
Oubliette smiled. “But you repaid her for that, didn’t you! She had to vacate her practice and relocate.”
“So I gathered. There were trucks loading smegma at her house.”
She smiled again, the expression seeming to reflect internally as her flesh caressed the member pressing into her. “I must confess it was a fitting revenge. She wanted your smegma, and you gave her more than she could handle. That did alienate her.”
“I guess so. Maybe I overdid it.”
“Put it this way, Prior: if you were the last man on Earth, and she the last woman, she would chain you to a wall, rip off your penis, stuff dirt in your socket, and do a sexy striptease just out of your reach. Then she would consider how best to humiliate you.”
He nodded, experiencing a twinge of guilt. He had behaved badly. “Can’t say I blame her.”
“She swore me to secrecy about her situation, especially with respect to you.”
He had figured as much. “So when Suzie said my ideal woman was in trouble, I just had to try to rescue her. It could be my only chance.”
“Who is this ideal woman?”
“I don’t know. Just that she’s the Maiden in the Tower, in a weird land called Fartingale. I have a week to rescue her, if I’m going to. So I’m on my way.”
Her body tensed, and not because she had taken the Spire in another inch. “Any clue to her identity?”
“None. I don’t think Suzie knew either. But she wouldn’t lie to me. My ideal woman, whoever she is, has been abducted and is captive, and I can rescue her if I act in time.”
“I have heard of Fartingale. It’s one of the worlds the Statue Path accesses. An uncouth place.”
“The Spire told me. Farts are a way of life there.”
“She would absolutely hate it. She must be rescued.”
“You know the maiden?” he asked, surprised.
“I know her type. Every week they kidnap some innocent shapely woman and set her up for a year’s sex slavery to the man who wins her. They don’t mind if she’s horrified; in fact they like to see a maiden react. It adds to the pleasure of the man who abuses her. Certainly you must rescue her and take her away from there.”
Now he had doubts. “But you know, if she really is beautiful, she might prefer one of those other men to me.”
“Not if you touch her with the Spire.”
“But I want her to want me for myself!”
“Prior, Prior,” she said gently as her avenue stroked the Spire with its special peristalsis. The godly spike was almost completely into her now; she had expanded enough to accommodate its full length and girth. She had truly amazing anatomy. “These things take time. Do you suppose you would have me like this at this moment if it weren’t for the Divine Dildo? Capture her sexuality with the Spire, then maintain the association until she gets to know the rest of you. You will have to use the prime weapon, or you will inevitably lose her.”
He wasn’t sure how she could be so sure, but he trusted her judgment. “Use the Spire,” he agreed. It was surely excellent advice.
“And practice your approach. The way you treated my sister is a fine example of how not to treat a woman whose favor you desire. Take that as a guide. Don’t be yourself. After you tame her with the Cosmic Horn of Delight, focus on how nice you can be to her in other respects, and how decent you can be generally. That will give you at least a fighting chance to hold her when you no longer have the Spire.”
Her estimate of his potential to charm a woman was not reassuring, but he knew she was being realistic. “Work on my decency,” he agreed.
“Now let’s see what we can accomplish here,” she said. “Let’s make some real love.” She put her arms around him, drawing him tightly in to her so that her breasts flattened against him, and kissed him ardently as her vulva closed around and over his shaft. This was a piece of heaven; she was everything any man could ever desire. He responded, kissing her back, pressing his groin into hers, pretending she was really his woman.
But the real action was inside. She had entirely surrounded the Spire, and was squeezing it urgently. She was going into her orgasm, trying to take the divine phallus with her. Prior felt it all; it was like riding a storm that was centered on his embedded member. His own climax was coming; he couldn’t have helped it if he had wanted to.
And between them, they got to the Spire. It was billions of years old, made to service the wives and mistresses of the Eldest God of the Galaxy; it could spout any substance in unlimited quantity. But it was of demonic origin; it lacked true feelings of its own. Until this moment.
Oubliette went into the full throes of her orgasm, drawing Prior along. She clutched him closely, kissing him fiercely, convulsing around his member. And the Spire responded. It built into its own involuntary orgasm, which was of course what the woman had been trying for. She wanted more than the keen pleasure of its touch and ejaculate; she wanted its own joy of union. She was getting it. The Spire came. It erupted in an unbearably intense pulse of rapture, jetting with abandon. It exploded with the semblance of a supernova, flinging its passion outward. It was the éclat of the birth of the universe, with infinite energy and matter radiating out from an infinitely small center. The pinpoint swelled to a glob, the glob to sphere the size of a planet, the planet to a star, and the star to a nebula. This was the primeval pinwheel, the domain of the Eldest God of the Galaxy. Thereafter the galaxy expanded to a universe, but the terminology remained. The universe stretched out, cooling, until it was mostly vacuum, a relatively dull place. Out in the hinterland they hardly even knew of the greatness of EGG or of his divine copulatory pipe. But its power remained, for those few able to harness it.
Prior came out of his instant eon of orgasmic rapture to discover him self still embracing Oubliette, the Spire still nestled inside her, dribbling its last spasm of protoplasm. The two of them were floating in a viscous sea. The Spire’s orgasm had pumped out enough juice to overflow her deep vagina and leak out into the room, which was now two thirds full.
“Spire!” Oubliette said in mock reproof as she tread thick water. “You overestimated my capacity.”
APOLOGY, the Spire gouted.
She laughed. “I made you come, didn’t I! Who was the last woman to accomplish that?”
EGG’S FAVORITE CONCUBINE, SEVERAL BILLION YEARS AGO. WHAT A CREATURE SHE WAS! A LOT LIKE YOU.
“I am surely her direct descendant,” Oubliette agreed, not trying to conceal her satisfaction. “But you have ruined my carpet. Now clean it up this instant.”