Such is the true history and facts with regard to her "deception" or, at best — "dishonest zeal." No doubt she has merited a portion of the blame; most undeniably she is given to exaggeration in general, and when it becomes a question of "puffing up" those she is devoted to, her enthusiasm knows no limits. Thus she has made of M. an Apollo of Belvedere, the glowing description of whose physical beauty made him more than once start in anger, and break his pipe while swearing like a true — Christian; and thus, under her eloquent phraseology, I myself had the pleasure of hearing myself metamorphosed into an "angel of purity and light" — shorn of his wings. We cannot help feeling at times angry with, oftener — laughing at, her. Yet the feeling that dictates all this ridiculous effusion is too ardent, too sincere and true, not to be respected or even treated with indifference. I do not believe I was ever so profoundly touched by anything I witnessed in all my life, as I was with the poor old creature's ecstatic rapture, when meeting us recently both in our natural bodies, one — after three years, the other — nearly two years absence and separation in flesh. Even our phlegmatic M. was thrown off his balance by such an exhibition — of which he was chief hero. He had to use his power, and plunge her into a profound sleep, otherwise she would have burst some blood-vessel including kidneys, liver and her "interiors" — to use our friend Oxley's favourite expression — in her delirious attempts to flatten her nose against his riding mantle besmeared with the Sikkim mud! We both laughed; yet could we feel otherwise but touched? Of course, she is utterly unfit for a true adept: her nature is too passionately affectionate and we have no right to indulge in personal attachments and feelings. You can never know her as we do, therefore — none of you will ever be able to judge her impartially or correctly. You see the surface of things; and what you would term "virtue," holding but to appearances, we — judge but after having fathomed the object to its profoundest depth, and generally leave the appearances to take care of themselves. In your opinion H.P.B. is, at best, for those who like her despite herself — a quaint, strange woman, a psychological riddle; impulsive and kindhearted, yet not free from the vice of untruth. We, on the other hand, under the garb of eccentricity and folly — we find a profounder wisdom in her inner Self than you will ever find yourselves able to perceive. In the superficial details of her homely, hard-working, commonplace daily life and affairs, you discern but unpracticality, womanly impulses, often absurdity and folly; we, on the contrary, light daily upon traits of her inner nature the most delicate and refined, and which would cost an uninitiated psychologist years of constant and keen observation, and many an hour of close analysis and efforts to draw out of the depth of that most subtle of mysteries — human mind — and one of her most complicated machines, — H.P.B.'s mind — and thus learn to know her true inner Self.
All this you are at liberty to tell C.C.M. I have closely watched him, and feel pretty certain that what you will tell him will have far more effect upon him than what a dozen "K.H.'s" might tell him personally. "Imperator" stands between us two, and will, I am afraid, stand thus for ever. His loyalty to, and faith in the assertions of a European living friend can never be shaken by the assurances to the contrary, made by Asiatics, who to him — if not mere figments, are unscrupulous "confederates." But I would, if possible, show to you his great injustice, and the wrong done by him to an innocent woman — at any rate — comparatively innocent. However crazy an enthusiast, I pledge to you my word of honour she was never a deceiver; nor has she ever wilfully uttered an untruth, though her position becomes often untenable, and that she has to conceal a number of things, as pledged to by her solemn vows. And now I have done with the question.
I am now going to approach once more a subject, good friend, I know is very repulsive to your mind, for you have told and written so repeatedly. And yet, in order to make some things clear to you, I am compelled to speak of it. You have often put the question, "why should the Brothers refuse turning their attention to such worthy, sincere theosophists as C.C.M. and Hood, or such a precious subject as S. Moses?" Well, I now answer you very clearly, that we have done so — ever since the said gentlemen came into contact and communication with H.P.B. They were all tried and tested in various ways, and not one of them came up [to] the desired mark. M. gave a special attention to "C.C.M." for reasons I will now explain, and, with results as at present known to you. You may say that such a secret way of testing people is dishonest; that we ought to have warned him, etc. Well, all I can say is, that it may be so from your European standpoint, but that, being Asiatics, we cannot depart from our rules. A man's character, his true inner nature can never be thoroughly drawn out if he believes himself watched, or strives for an object. Besides, Col. O. had never made a secret of that way of ours, and all the Bsh. theosophists ought to — if they did not — know that their body was, since we had sanctioned it, under a regular probation. As for C.C.M. — of all the theosophists he was the one selected by M. and with a definite purpose, owing to H.P.B.'s importunities and his special promise. "He will turn back on you some day, pumo!"198 M. repeatedly told her, in answer to her prayers to accept him as a regular chela with Olcott — "That he never, never will!" she exclaimed in answer. "C.C.M. is the best, most noble, etc., etc., etc." — a string of laudatory and admiring adjectives. Two years later, she said the same of Ross Scott. "Such two staunch, devoted friends — I never had!" she assured her "Boss" — who only laughed in his beard, and bid me arrange the "theosophical" marriage. Well; one was tested and tried for three years, the other for three months, with what results I hardly need remind you. Not only NO temptations were ever put in the way of either, but the latter was furnished with a wife amply sufficient for his happiness, and connections that will prove beneficent to him some day. C.C.M. had but objective, undoubted phenomena to stand upon; R. Scott had, moreover, a visit in astral shape from M. In the case of one — the revenge of three unprincipled men; in the case of the other — the jealousy of a petty-minded fool made short work of the boasted friendship, and showed the "O.L." what it was worth. Oh, the poor, trusting, credulous nature! Take away from her her clairvoyant powers; plug up in a certain direction her intuitions — as in duty bound was done by M. — and what remains? A helpless, broken-hearted woman!