From the beginning, Wolf was less rambunctious, gentler around him, and in his puppy way, protective of him. Except for Ayla, there was no one whose company Wolf preferred more. If Ayla was busy, he looked for Rydag, and was often found sleeping near him or on his lap. Ayla wasn't entirely sure herself how Wolf and Rydag came to understand each other so well. Rydag's innate skill at reading subtle nuances in the wolf's signals might explain the boy's ability, but how could a young wolf puppy know the needs of a weak human child?
Ayla developed modified wolf signals along with other commands to train the puppy. The first lesson, after several accidents, was to use a basket of dung and ashes as the humans did, or to go outside. It was surprisingly easy; Wolf seemed embarrassed over his messes, and cringed when Ayla scolded him about them. The next lesson was more difficult.
Wolf loved to chew on leather, especially boots and shoes, and breaking him of the habit proved vexatious and frustrating. Whenever she caught him at it and scolded him, he was contrite, and abjectly eager to please, but he was recalcitrant and would go right back to it again, sometimes the moment she turned her back. Anyone's footwear was in jeopardy, but most especially her favorite soft leather stockings. He couldn't seem to leave them alone. She had to hang them up high where he could not reach them or they would have been torn to shreds. But as much as she objected to his chewing on her things, she felt far worse when he ruined someone else's. She was responsible for bringing him to the lodge, and felt any damage he did was her fault.
Ayla was sewing the finishing beadwork onto the white leather tunic when she heard a commotion from the Fox Hearth.
"Hey! You! Give me that!" Ranec shouted.
Ayla knew from the sound that Wolf had gotten into something again. She ran to see what the problem was this time and saw Ranec and Wolf in a tug-of-war over a worn boot.
"Wolf! Drop it!" she said, dropping her hand in a quick gesture that came just short of his nose. The wolf pup let go immediately and hunched down with his ears slightly back and his tail down, and whined beseechingly. Ranec put his footwear on the platform.
"I hope he didn't ruin your boot," Ayla said.
"It doesn't matter anyway. It's an old one," Ranec said, smiling, and added admiringly, "You do know wolves, Ayla. He does exactly what you tell him."
"But only while I stand here and watch him," she said, looking down at the animal. Wolf was watching her, wriggling with expectation. "The moment I turn my back, he'll be into something else he knows he's not supposed to touch. He'll drop it as soon as he sees me coming, but I don't know how to teach him not to get into people's things."
"Maybe he needs something of his own," Ranec volunteered. Then he looked at her with his soft black glowing eyes, "Or something of yours."
The puppy was scooching up to her, whining for her attention. Finally, impatient, he yipped a few times. "Stay there! Be still!" she commanded, upset with him. He backed down, lay on his paws, and looked up at her, utterly crushed.
Ranec watched, then said to Ayla, "He can't stand it when you're upset with him. He wants to know you love him. I think I know how he feels."
He moved closer and his dark eyes filled with the warmth and need that had touched her so deeply before. She felt a tingling response, and backed away, flustered. Then, to cover her agitation, she bent down and scooped up the wolf pup. Wolf excitedly licked her face, wriggling with happiness.
"See how happy he is now that he knows you care about him?" Ranec said. "It would make me happy to know you care about me. Do you?"
"Uh… of course, I care about you, Ranec," Ayla stammered, feeling uncomfortable.
He flashed a broad smile, and his eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief, and something deeper. "It would be a pleasure to show you how happy it makes me to know you care," he said, putting an arm around her waist, and moving in closer.
"I believe you," she said, ducking away. "You don't have to show me, Ranec."
It wasn't the first time he had made advances. Usually they were framed as jests that allowed him to let her know how he felt, while giving her the opportunity to avoid them without either of them losing face. She started walking back, sensing a more serious confrontation and wanting to avoid it. She had a feeling he would ask her to come to his bed, and she didn't know if she could refuse a man who commanded her to his bed, or even made a direct request. She understood it was her right, but the response to comply was so ingrained she wasn't sure that she could.
"Why not, Ayla?" he said, falling in step beside her. "Why won't you let me show you? You sleep alone now. You shouldn't sleep alone."
She felt a stab of remorse realizing that she did sleep alone, but tried not to show it. "I don't sleep alone," she said, holding up the puppy. "Wolf sleeps with me, in a basket tight here, near my head."
"That's not the same," Ranec said. His tone was serious and he seemed ready to push the issue. Then he stopped and smiled. He didn't want to rush her. He could tell she was upset. It hadn't been that long since the separation. He tried to turn the tension aside. "He's too small to keep you warm… but I must admit, he as appealing." He rubbed Wolf's head affectionately.
Ayla smiled and put the young wolf down in the basket. He immediately jumped out and then down to the floor, sat down and scratched himself, then scampered toward his feeding dish. Ayla began to fold up the white tunic to put it away. She rubbed the soft white leather and the white ermine fur, and straightened the little tails with the black tips, feeling her stomach tighten and a lump form in her throat. Her eyes stung from tears she fought to control. No, it wasn't the same, she thought. How could it be the same?
"Ayla, you know how much I want you, how much I care about you," Ranec said, standing behind her. "Don't you?"
"I think so," she said, not turning, but closing her eyes.
"I love you, Ayla. I know you feel unsettled right now, but I want you to know. I loved you the first moment I saw you. I want to share my hearth with you, to make a joining with you. I want to make you happy. I know you need time to think about it. I'm not asking you to make a decision, but tell me you'll think about… letting me try to make you happy. Will you? Think about it?"
Ayla looked down at the white tunic in her hands, and her mind whirled. Why doesn't Jondalar want to sleep with me any more? Why did he stop touching me, stop sharing Pleasures with me, even when he was sleeping with me? Everything changed after I became Mamutoi. Didn't he want me to be adopted? If he didn't, why didn't he say so? Maybe he did want it; he said he did. I thought he loved me. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he doesn't love me any more. He never did ask me to join. What will I do if Jondalar leaves without me? The knot in her stomach felt as hard as a rock. Ranec cares for me, and he wants me to care about him. He is nice, and funny, he always makes me laugh… and he loves me. But I don't love him. I wish I could love him… maybe I should try.
"Yes, Ranec, I'll think about it," she said softly, but her throat tightened and ached as she spoke.
Jondalar watched Ranec leave the Mammoth Hearth. The tall man had become a watcher, though he felt embarrassed about it. It wasn't appropriate behavior, either in this society or his own, for adults to stare or concern themselves unduly with the ordinary activities of another person, and Jondalar had always been especially sensitive to social conventions. It bothered him to appear so callow, but he couldn't help it. He tried to hide it, but he watched Ayla and the Mammoth Hearth constantly.