“Her funeral was nice. So was Dad’s. All the neighbors came, at least the gang that was still living from the pub days.”
A shadow crossed Finn’s face. They were moving into dangerous territory, but Virginia couldn’t help herself. She was two-thirds of the way through the Bloody Mary, and the vodka made her brave.
“Right,” he said. “I just couldn’t swing it.”
“We missed you.”
As children, they’d played together constantly, either with Finn’s tin soldiers in the middle of the living room or lounging out on the fire escape in the heat of summer while Virginia read out loud from her Nancy Drew books. But once his musical talent was discovered, she’d lost him to the piano and the daily practice that ate up all his free time. She’d hoped, after their parents’ deaths, that she and her brother would become closer, but that hadn’t happened. No doubt Chester’s conservative outlook hadn’t helped matters; the man was far from welcoming. In any event, they had spun in completely different orbits until now.
She checked her watch. Time to get back in the kitchen. She ruffled her brother’s hair on her way out, a gesture of love and forgiveness. He took her hand and held it a moment, and they smiled at each other.
At dinner, the conversation flowed from politics to music to Finn’s success as an entertainer. Xavier held court, raving about the international audiences and the steady gigs, Finn regaling them with impersonations of drunken patrons who insisted on singing along.
The dinner was going as well as Virginia could have hoped. Until Finn asked Ruby when she got into photography.
Ruby crinkled her nose. “Right when I started high school, Dad bought me a camera. At the time, Mom was going through chemo and one of my first photos was of her wearing a crazy scarf to cover her bald head. I probably still have it.”
At first Finn didn’t react. He chewed and swallowed, blinking fiercely, before turning to look at Virginia. “You had chemotherapy?”
A shiver of guilt passed through her. This was not how she wanted to break the news to him. To be honest, she’d never wanted to break the news to him. It meant dredging up all those old fears.
The shock of waking up after surgery still haunted her. She’d known, going in, that if they found cancer during the biopsy, they’d perform a radical mastectomy. “Perform a radical mastectomy.” The surgeon’s words at first had sounded like it was some kind of symphony. Something involving lots of timpani. She’d woken up in a postsurgical haze to see Chester hovering over her. Her right side felt as though a cement truck had parked there. They’d taken not only the breast but a portion of the chest wall muscle. She’d been carved out and had felt lopsided ever since, physically and emotionally, lurching through the world unbalanced.
Still, life had moved forward. “I had cancer. Breast cancer. But it was five years ago; it’s over and done with.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Finn, his eyes wide.
“I tried. I sent you a letter. When I didn’t hear back, I figured I’d just drop it. There was nothing you could have done.”
“I never got the letter.” He laid down his fork and knife on the plate. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me.”
Ruby piped up. “I just assumed you knew, Finn. Mom, why didn’t you tell your own brother?”
The accusatory tone in Ruby’s voice was unwarranted. Virginia was the one who’d had cancer, yet she was the one being browbeaten? “Because he was never around. What could he have done? Nothing.” She immediately regretted her harshness. Once Virginia was home from the hospital, stiff and sore, unable to raise her arm or lift anything, Ruby helped bolster her spirits. She’d read from fashion magazines and fussed over the bed linens. Chester was there, too, of course, but as her recovery failed to meet his expectations, he stayed out at business dinners more and more, a pattern that became ingrained even after she was fully healed. “You were a big help, Ruby, and I thank you for that. Now I’m fine. Period.”
The doorbell sounded, like an angry cicada. Virginia leaped up and opened the front door, thankful for the interruption.
Ryan, the bartender from downstairs, stood in the hallway.
“Come on in, take a seat.” Finn waved him in and pointed to an empty chair. “We told Ryan to stop by on his break.”
Virginia shot her brother a look. It would have been nice if he’d told her.
Ryan ducked his head, hands together, like a supplicant. “I hope you don’t mind. I can’t stay long, but I couldn’t pass up your invitation.”
“Stay as long as you like.” Virginia took her seat. “We’re not going anywhere.” She passed him the bowl of string beans.
“How’s the family reunion going?” he asked.
“Woo-hoo.” Xavier waved one hand weakly in the air. “Great.”
“Finn, do you regret not going to Juilliard?” Ruby poured herself some wine.
Her second glass, Virginia noted. At least the cancer talk was over, for the time being.
Finn held out his glass for a refill as well. “No. It would’ve stifled me. My life’s not easy, and sometimes I’m scrambling, but I do love it.”
“Scrambling?” Virginia motioned around the room.
Finn laughed. “Don’t let the trappings fool you. We’re staying in the fabulous apartment of a friend because the timing worked out. That’s sheer luck. Xavier’s business is struggling, as is everything these days. Thank God my tips are in cash.”
Virginia had assumed they were flush, living large and traveling the world. If they were struggling, they didn’t let it get them down. An admirable trait, one she could use more of.
Ruby placed her hands in her lap. “I have an announcement. I hope you’ll understand, but you probably won’t.”
Dear God. What now?
“I’m not going back to college.”
“To Sarah Lawrence?”
“No. To any college.”
So that was why Ruby had been truculent all day. She was waiting until they were all around the dinner table to bring up what should have been discussed in private. Hoping to find safety in numbers.
Virginia refused to be manipulated. If Ruby wanted to have this conversation now, so be it. “You didn’t even give college a try. How can you drop out when you were only there for a few weeks? When we agreed to you taking the semester off, it was on the condition you either found another school or went back to Sarah Lawrence in January.”
“Finn didn’t even put in a day at Juilliard. He knew it wasn’t for him, just like I do.”
Finn opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. Ryan looked like he wanted to crawl under the table.
“Ruby, you’ve been doing absolutely nothing these past two months. What exactly would you replace college with?”
“I want to be a photographer.”
“If you really wanted that, you would be out taking photos.”
“I can’t develop them, remember?”
“Then enroll in some class that offers access to a darkroom. I think you’re using this to avoid whatever difficulties you faced at Sarah Lawrence.”
“I’m not. And I can’t afford to take a class.”
Her list of excuses was endless. “Then you could have gotten a job to be able to pay for a class.”
“You’re missing the point.”
“I don’t think so. You want to drop out?” Virginia had had it. She was tired of tiptoeing around the family’s long list of conversational minefields. She’d watched Finn walk out of her life, and now her daughter was using him as her role model. The thought made her sick with panic. “Fine. You can drop out. Go right ahead. Run off to Europe, like Finn. You can team up and travel the world, take photos of him playing the piano in Monaco and Madrid. Leave me to sweep up the mess.”
Finn held out both hands. “Hold on a second. One thing at a time.” He turned to Virginia. “I’m sorry if I did that, but I had to get away. I really don’t think Ruby’s planning on running away from you.”