She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. Amelia stood and paced the room, a thing she hardly ever did; she felt restless and longed to swim in the ocean or to leave her room, even if it was only to walk the streets of the city. Either action would only invite harassment—from the reporters who frothed about her every time she appeared, from the general public who recognized her from her show at the Concert Hall. Barnum didn’t need to lock her inside, she realized—she was already a prisoner.
She’d run from the cottage on the rocks, from being Mrs. Jack Douglas, and now she was Barnum’s mermaid no matter how she turned the picture. Would she ever just be only herself again, be that girl who chased the ship and dreamed of unseen wonders?
It was nearing the dinner hour but she wasn’t hungry. Amelia undressed and climbed into the too-soft bed with its smooth sheets. She missed the worn wool blanket that smelled of Jack.
She closed her eyes. It was a long, long while before she was able to fall asleep.
When she woke, she remembered dreaming not of Jack, or of the sea, but of Levi.
CHAPTER 10
Amelia left the hotel very early in the morning on opening day at the museum. Levi had knocked on her door before the sun was up, and the sky was pink and grey above the rooftops of the city when they crossed the intersection to Barnum’s.
Despite the early hour, a crowd was already forming outside the doors. Barnum had sent four of his goons to form a kind of honor guard around Amelia so she could enter the building safely. Their presence did not deter many people, who shouted her name and tried to rip off pieces of her skirt.
One woman—middle-aged and dressed like a perfectly respectable matron—managed to dart between the men and snatch Amelia’s parasol out of her hand. She disappeared back into the crowd before Amelia’s guard had a chance to do anything about it.
Amelia wouldn’t weep any tears for the loss of the parasol, but she was astonished at the audacity of the woman. She also didn’t understand why the thief had wanted the parasol in the first place.
“She certainly looked as though she could afford to buy one herself,” Amelia said to Levi once they were safely inside the museum.
“But a new parasol wouldn’t have been touched by you,” Levi said.
Amelia gave him a quizzical look.
“Either she’ll hold it as a keepsake of the Feejee Mermaid or, more likely, she’ll sell it for ten times its value.”
“But why would anyone want to buy a parasol for that much?” Amelia asked as Levi led her to Barnum’s apartment. They were supposed to have breakfast with Charity and Barnum and Caroline.
Levi shook his head. “It’s more valuable because it was yours.”
“I don’t understand,” Amelia said.
This was one of those human conundrums that she would never solve. Objects were more valuable depending on who owned them? Paintings were more valuable depending on who painted them?
Humans often valued what they should not, she reflected, and most often they did not value what was right before their eyes.
Barnum wasn’t at the breakfast table when they arrived. Charity was there, holding little Frances in one arm.
“He’s gone to examine the exhibit one last time,” Charity said. “He wishes for everything to be perfect today. Cook will be bringing out breakfast shortly.”
Amelia nodded and sat down. She’d never been as comfortable with Charity since the night they’d spoken, and she hadn’t had a chance to begin again because she’d been forced to move to the hotel. She’d hoped that Charity would be friendly to her again once she forgot her initial discomfort, but Charity had returned to the brisk, distant personality she’d had upon their first meeting.
“Now,” Charity continued. “Caroline wishes to see you change, or whatever it is you call it. I don’t want her to go through the exhibit with the crowd outside. Taylor said it was becoming quite large, and I would rather not expose my daughter to a possibly dangerous situation.”
“It won’t be dangerous, Charity,” Levi said.
“And how can you know that, Levi? The very first day this woman appeared onstage, another woman was trampled to death.”
“Barnum’s hired guards—” Levi began.
“Yes, I know all about these thugs of Taylor’s. I don’t like to think where he had to go to find them in the first place. They glare at me every time I leave the building, as if I were committing some crime.”
Amelia was astonished by the idea that Charity might leave the building at all. She never seemed to go anywhere except to make the occasional afternoon call.
“But I don’t think it will be dangerous for Caroline,” Levi said. “There will be plenty of children throughout the day, I am sure. And Barnum’s planned the exhibit very well, so that there is no chance of a mob rushing the tank like the first performance.”
Amelia noticed that Levi used to refer to his friend as “Taylor,” as Charity did, but lately he only called him “Barnum.” It was a small thing, but it seemed Barnum was slowly losing Levi. Levi’s words told her that even if nothing else did.
“Nevertheless,” Charity said. “I wish to ask Mrs. Douglas if she will perform her trick for Caroline prior to the official opening of the show.”
Amelia did not bristle when Charity called her change “a trick,” but it was a close thing. She had to remind herself that Charity did not believe, despite what all the newspapers told her. Charity was the sort who needed to see the truth with her own eyes.
“Of course I will,” Amelia said before Levi could intervene. “For Caroline.”
Charity nodded her thanks, and the cook carried out their breakfast.
It was strange, Levi reflected, that he felt more nervous now than he had the first day at the Concert Hall.
Perhaps it was because he had less control of the situation. When he was Dr. Griffin, he was the one who opened the program, who took audience questions, who spoke to reporters. He could decide when Amelia had had enough and cut the program short.
He couldn’t do any of those things once Amelia was inside the hall. In fact, after today, “Dr. Griffin” would no longer exist. Having left his mermaid in the care of P. T. Barnum, Dr. Griffin would shave off his beard and trim his hair and return to his sober brown suits and become plain Levi Lyman again.
And when he was plain Levi Lyman again, he wouldn’t have the right to stay near her all day as he did now. Barnum wanted him to “duck out of sight for a while,” so Levi would remain confined to his apartment for a week or two so people wouldn’t associate him with Dr. Griffin.
When he told Amelia this, she’d said she was sorry that he had to stay inside for so long. She hadn’t said a thing about missing him.
He must have dreamed that spark in her eyes the other night. If it had been there (and not the product of his too-hopeful imagination), then surely he would have seen it again. But her eyes remained the same—grey and serious and cool—and his heart persisted in wishing for a feeling she didn’t share.
Caroline tugged his hand in excitement as they, Amelia, and Charity walked through the empty halls of the museum. Barnum was at the breakfast table enjoying his breakfast “in peace,” as he put it.
“Levi, is Amelia so beautiful when she’s a mermaid?” Caroline said.
“She doesn’t look like those pictures,” Levi said carefully, conscious of Amelia and Charity listening in. “But I do think she is beautiful, yes, in a different way.”