He stopped a taxi and gave him his address. At least I’ll have time to take a shower. And see Marta. She’s there in my house and I’m here acting like a chump with my international intrigues and my Outer Mongolia. I hope she closed the curtains. Those Russians have already seen too much. Must’ve seen more than I have. Fucking Russians!
V
When he entered the apartment, the dawn was spreading gray shadows everywhere, like large stains of mildew in an abandoned house. Nobody was there. Noiselessly, he opened the door to the bedroom. The colorless light entered the window, accompanied by the first noises from the street. Marta was sleeping, curled up, as if frightened, her bare arms outside the sheet and her hands joined next to her face. What those fucking Russians must have seen. They see everything because they’re conducting an investigation, and I’m just around to kill. To kill without seeing what I’m killing, without knowing why I have to kill. Maybe just because.
He stopped to look at her. Her breathing was slow, unhurried. Without making a sound, he took off his jacket and holster. He didn’t want to have it over his heart. Right now is when I should slip into bed with her. Right now when she’s sleeping. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman sleeping, at least not such a beautiful woman. Usually, by the time they fall asleep, I’m gone. I didn’t need them anymore. I think I’m turning into a faggot. I should already be in bed with her. Why keep looking at what you can grab with both your hands? Fucking Russians across the street! Me only look, like the Chinamen would say, me no touch. And me just like them. Me not getting into bed. Fucking faggot!
He had absentmindedly picked up the chamois and was cleaning his gun. He moved his hand along it slowly, as if caressing it, but without taking his eyes off Marta sleeping in his bed. Without warning, she stirred, then bolted upright. All she had on was her slip.
“Filiberto!”
“Don’t be afraid, Marta.”
Marta rubbed her eyes and smiled:
“I waited up very late for you.”
She made no move to cover herself with the sheet. She sat on the bed and placed both hands on her outstretched legs.
“Then I got sleepy and lay down for a while and. . I didn’t have any pajamas. . Are you going to go to bed?”
“No, Marta. I just came home to take a shower. I have to go out again.”
“But you haven’t slept a wink. You haven’t slept for two nights. Do you want some coffee?”
She leapt out of bed. She was barefoot. She walked up to García and placed both hands on his shoulders. Her breasts could be seen through her slip, small and hard, and her tussled hair fell to her shoulders. She smelled of body and bed. García leaned over and kissed her on the lips, without touching her. In one hand he had the gun and in the other the cloth. She pressed up against him.
“I love you, Filiberto, I love you very much. When I’m here alone I have nothing to do but think of you and how much I love you. That’s why I’m telling you this now, because so much has changed in our relationship.”
She took one step back and began to unbutton his shirt.
“You’ll need a clean one.”
“Yes, Marta.”
“Why don’t you rest a little? I’ll wake you up whenever you tell me to.”
“There’s no time, Marta.”
He gently moved her to one side and entered the bathroom. Fucking faggot! Me just standing there and her almost naked. That’s what happens to old men. And I want her so bad. . Fucking faggot!
When he got out of the bathroom, his clean clothes were laid out on the bed. He began getting dressed. Marta appeared at the door holding a cup of coffee. García sat down on the bed. His legs were shaking.
“You can leave the coffee on the nightstand, Marta.”
Marta put it on the nightstand and sat down on the bed, next to him.
“You’re tired. You shouldn’t work so much at night.”
“This only happens once in a while, Marta. We are conducting a special investigation.”
“You don’t want to drink your coffee?”
García embraced her and kissed her, hard. His hands were shaking and there was a gaping pit in his stomach. They fell backward onto the bed. Marta smelled of the warm night, bed, and woman. García slowly got up, without taking his eyes off her.
“No, Marta, not like this. We’ll have plenty of time when this is all over.”
“Whenever you say, Filiberto. I’ll be waiting for you. Whenever you say.”
She smiled at him. If she smiles one more time, Mr. Rosendo del Valle and the colonel can both go fuck themselves. I’m such a fucking faggot! Since when have I been so damn polite when it comes to doing it with a bitch?
“You are a real man, Filiberto. That’s why I love you so much. You don’t want this to be something unimportant. . I’ll be here when you want me and however you want me, because you are a real man.”
“Yes, Marta. Later. .”
“I knew it the first time I saw you at the shop. Only a man like you, a real man, would do what you’ve done. When you said we should come to your house. . I knew what would happen. . But it didn’t. You don’t like it when things aren’t done right, and that’s why I love you. All day yesterday I thought about you. . You want me to put your shoes on?”
“No, thank you, Marta. I’ll do it.”
“I thought about you, about how you’ve behaved. You didn’t just want to sleep with me. . like so many other man. You helped me and you didn’t ask for anything in return. . and even now you’re not asking for anything. But I’ll be here, waiting for you. .”
“Yes, Marta.”
He stood up and went over to the mirror to tie his silk tie. Then he put on his shoulder holster and over that his beige trench coat. He took out a dark-green silk handkerchief and placed it in his chest pocket. He turned to face Marta:
“I want you to go to Palacio de Hierro and buy yourself some dresses and anything else you need, Marta. You’re not going back to Dolores Street. .”
“No, never again.”
“Here, there’s six thousand pesos, take it. .”
“That’s a lot of money.”
“No, it’s not. I want you to buy anything you want. Everything you see and like, buy it. That’s what money’s for.”
“But. . how will I repay you for all this?”
She stood up from the bed and walked over to him. Her nipples were hard under her slip.
“How am I ever going to repay you for everything you’ve done for me?”
She took his hand and kissed it. García lifted her chin and kissed her on the mouth.
“There’s the money. I might be back this afternoon.”
“I’ll be here.”
“And when this is all over, we’ll go to Cuautla, to Agua Hedionda, even to Acapulco. We’ll take the car.”
Marta smiled. There was great sweetness in her face.
“Whenever you want, Filiberto.”
“Goodbye.”
“Don’t come back too late, Filiberto. You have to rest. .”
“Goodbye.”
He left the apartment and went outside. The sun was beginning to paint the filth of the city a sickly yellow. Fucking faggot! I’m definitely out of my element. First with the gringo and the Russian and this international intrigue. And now with Marta. She’s not like other women. Could it be because she’s Chinese? Or she sees what a chump I am and they sent her to do her little job? And here I am, missing my chance to help her do it. Fucking dumbass! And she’s even hotter than I thought. For all I know, by the time I get back, the job’ll be over, and she’ll leave with my money and all the rest of it. I’d have it coming to me for being a dumbass, for being the fucking dumbass that I am.