“Because of what you’ve seen.”
She nodded. “You told me once when people have no one else to turn to, they give you a call. I finally know what that means. You know how things work. How to be cold and mean as the people you take down. It’s how you survive. It’s who you are. And I can’t get in the way of that.”
My heart took a tumble to the bottom of my feet. Natasha’s words were an echo of what Esmeralda had told me earlier. It was like looking in two different mirrors. The one I saw was just a hazy image free for interpretation. The reflection they saw was my true self, the one I didn’t want to look at.
“I’m sorry, Natasha.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I love you, Mick. I always will. I just can’t expect you to change into someone you’re not. We both know the longer I stick around, the greater my chances of being used as a hostage or winding up another corpse to haunt you.”
She reached out and placed her hand over mine as she got up from the booth. “It’s time for me to go.”
I took a wary look around as I stood with her. “You mean now? It’s not safe. Not so long as Natalie and her crew are killing women connected to me.”
“Women intimately connected to you. I’m not one of those targets, Mick.” She forced a smile.
“Still too risky. There’s no telling what might—”
“Mick.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “You have to let go. You can’t do this and try to protect me at the same time. You do what you have to. I’ll take care of myself. I promise.” She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. “Check in with me when this is over. Goodbye, Mick.”
For once I couldn’t think of a word to say.
I watched her walk away. My muscles tensed, my heart pounded as I forced myself to sit back in the booth. Her slender frame never looked so fragile as in that moment. I expected to hear the shot, hear the screams of frightened patrons, see her recoil from the force of the slug, run to catch her limp body as she fell.
But my fears proved groundless. She strode out the exit and merged with the crowds leaving and entering the diner. They were ghosts, insubstantial blurs my eyes quickly passed over.
She was all that mattered.
As she faded away, I thought back to a time when we danced in a cramped little room. When we kissed, I was the one who pumped the brakes. Because I knew it was the best thing for her. Now I was the one who couldn’t face the truth. I held on to old memories even though the time slipped through my fingers like mist. I wanted to imagine settling down one day, living a better life with the girl of my dreams. But that dream stood up and walked away because she wasn’t a dream. She was a person, someone with a life and dreams of her own. Someone who was brave enough to cut me loose in order to pursue them.
It was better that way.
“Was that Natasha walking out?”
Detective Flask slid into the seat recently vacated by Natasha. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, looking as if he hadn’t slept in a week.
“You got a real grasp for the obvious, Mack.”
“You think it’s safe for her to be alone with all this heat on you? I got a message from you saying someone was trying to kill us right here in this diner, Mick. Then you pick the exact spot to meet up again? What the hell are you thinking?”
I lifted a finger. “That’s a lot of questions, Flask. No, it’s not safe for Natasha right now. But she’s probably safer than the rest of us because she’ll be anywhere but near me. It was her call, and the right one. And I picked this joint because the grub is good and we’re not expected to be here. I’m not playing by the book here, Dick. Playing by the rules will get you killed in this game. What were you doing here, anyway? I thought you were going to check with Customs.”
He sighed. “Angela wanted to stop for a bite first. Said she wasn’t going to have our date put off because of a little trouble.” He paused. “She’s a special girl.”
I grinned. “Yes she is.”
He frowned. “Hey.”
A skinny blonde stopped by the table. “Ready for another beer, Mr. Trubble?”
“Bulleit Neat this time, doll. For the road.”
“Right away.” She looked at Flask. “And the detective?”
“No thanks.”
“The Dick will take a Manhattan.” I lifted two fingers. “Double the rocks.”
She smiled. “Coming right up.”
Flask glanced after her. “How’d she know I was on the force?”
“You blue boys stick out like a sore thumb. It’s the tension. Starts in the eyes and goes straight to the shoulders. You might as well tattoo ‘cop’ on your foreheads.”
He grunted. “Well, the hard juice is a waste of your dibs, Mick. I don’t drink on the job.”
“Shame. I always drink on the job. Keeps the head clear.”
He didn’t appear amused. “You should have told me you and Angela had history, Mick.”
“Why? Most men don’t wanna know about their dame’s skeletons. We like to pretend they only open the pearly gates for us alone.”
“Skip the innuendos. She could’ve been killed because of you.”
“She’s still living because of me. I had a chitchat with my ex while you were out. She’s the one who’s been cutting throats around the city. Found out what makes her tick and flipped it upside-down. She’s a bit disoriented right now, but I expect she’ll improvise some adjustments to her little scheme real soon.”
“You talked to the killer?” His eyes widened. “And she’s your ex? When did this happen?”
“Slow your row, Ace. She called me. I figured out she was my former partner from the Secret Service. We had a relationship — if you can call an abusive, manipulative, sexually dominating involvement a relationship. I was an assassin and a code breaker apparently too smart for the Service to trust. Natalie was my handler, tasked with keeping me under control. That’s why she’s here.”
“To bring you in?”
“To control the situation. I think she’s trying to jar my memory with these murders. Apparently she used that tactic to control me in the past.”
Flask shook his head. “Pretty sick, even for the Service. You sure know how to pick them, don’t you?”
My eyes drifted to the exit doors. “Yeah. I know how to pick ‘em.”
He followed my gaze. “You did the right thing, Mick.”
I barked a wry laugh. “Yeah. Letting my best gal walk into possible harm’s way never strikes me as the ‘right thing’, Flask. But she has the right to call her own shots.”
The blonde returned with our drinks. I raised my glass. “To calling the shots.”
Flask stared at his glass for a second then shrugged. “What the hell.”
We downed our drinks. Flask wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Speaking of calling the shots, what’s next on your agenda? Other than getting shot again.” He squinted. “Gotta say you’re looking a lot better than when I saw you last.”
“Appreciate the compliment. In answer to the question, I plan on putting the pieces together. Plus I got an ace in the hole. Figure it’s time I pull it out.”
“Whatever that means. I went to Customs after stashing Angela away. Dead end. I didn’t find any evidence of trafficking, and I looked pretty hard. Don’t think I made any friends there.”
“I figured so, but had to check it anyway. I think Natalie must’ve used a handler to smuggle her through another way. Maybe Poddar and Kilby will have some news for me.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Flask shrugged. “Or maybe they shoot blanks. We’re still no closer than we were this morning other than nearly getting Angela killed. Next time we won’t be so lucky. Your girl Natalie still has us by the balls, Mick.”
“Not for long. I need you to check something out for me.”