The depths of his emotions were profound and seemed to go on without end. I murmured over and over it was okay and he must have found it amusing because he offered a rather cynical chuckle.
Pulling himself back up, he lifted his head to look at me. “How is this okay? What kind of leader and mate will I be if I can’t even protect my sister? Yes, I know rationally it’s not my fault,” he said, cutting me off before I could interrupt him. “It just kills me I wasn’t there. I watched my father be this controlling, dominating force in our family growing up. He ruled with an iron fist and too bad if you didn’t like it. It didn’t matter who it was, if you questioned him, he’d beat you back into submission. My mother had absolutely no freedom and it pained me to see her put up with his abusiveness because she was afraid for her children. My father was a monster in every sense of the word and I vowed… vowed, Darcy, I would never become like him.”
“But you’re not. You are far from that,” I gently added.
“I’m not?” He choked, sarcasm heavy in his voice. “You have no idea how hard it is sometimes not to lock you in your room and never let you out-to watch your independence and not move to stifle it. It makes me crazy with worry I’ll lose you because I don’t trust myself if I did. It would infuriate Jasmine whenever we argued because our ideas on protecting were so different. Even now, part of me is raging over my foolishness. If I’d stopped fighting my nature, Jasmine would still be here. So you see? This is my fault-my weakness and my cross to bear.”
“It’s not your fault and we’ll bear this together,” I answered, pulling him back into my embrace. My fingers found his hair and I began to tenderly stroke his head.
“I let her down.” He sobbed again, his body convulsing. Anguish poured off him and I quietly let him vent.
“I miss her so much. Her smile, the way she used to say my name when I teased her. You never realize just how much someone means to you until they’re gone. What devastates me is I never got to say goodbye. I don’t even think I told her I loved her when you both left. I thought there was plenty of time and now I feel cheated and angry. Gary stole from me… from us. There are so many things I’ll never be able to do with my baby sister because of a man’s obsession with something he couldn’t have.” He took a deep breath in between his outburst before continuing. “She told me about the dreams she’d been having of a man she didn’t recognize. Dreams where he told her he was her mate and he was coming for her. She didn’t know what the meant, and needed to know what her big brother thought about it.”
I’d forgotten about her dream. Mason and I had always thought she’d mate with Daniel, the childhood crush she’d carried for him still strong even through the years. Jasmine had been so excited to share the next morning, and we’d spent time day dreaming over the possibilities, imagining what the mystery wolf would be life.
His eyes widen as he remembered. “You should’ve seen the way her eyes sparkled, Darcy. She could barely contain her excitement, bouncing around in her seat like she was about to explode. We must have talked for an hour as she asked me question after question. Who did I think he was? Where was he? Could she trust the dream? I couldn’t help laughing, her enthusiasm was so addicting. I teased her about Daniel, telling her how this would crush him, but you could tell the idea of her settling down intrigued her. I don’t know if it will ever come to past, but what if it was true? Am I supposed to wait for that future knock on the door and have to share with a stranger the woman he was expecting is gone?” His voice broke. “No happily ever after for her. No babies… no future. All gone in the blink of an eye.”
I tried to speak, but couldn’t. My own tears coursed down my face as I listened to him bare his soul.
“I don’t ever want to fail like that again. I need to be strong so I should forewarn you, don’t kill me if I start to get a little possessive and over protective. I don’t mean to, but I’m fighting instincts here. Be patient.”
“Whatever you need, I love you. And Jasmine… she was so proud of you,” I whispered when I finally found my voice. “You’re a good man. Don’t ever doubt it.”
We huddled together in silence, caught up in the truthfulness of the moment. Gone was the buildup of magic. The aggression and anger from before had also abated and I could sense his fatigue. I don’t think he realized just how much he had bottled until he pulled the cork and let it out.
“Was that good enough?” He chuckled, his body putty under my hands. “I didn’t scare you away with my sappiness?” I could sense the mood changing as he began to bring himself back together.
“Never. You’re stuck with me forever.” I leaned forward and kissed him lightly.
“Good, because I’d accept nothing less. I love you, Darcy.” He smiled and this time it reached his eyes. “And thank you. I’ll admit, I do feel better and not so heavy inside.”
“Then that’s all that matters. You’re not alone anymore. You have me and I will always be here to listen. We strengthen each other and there’s nothing to be ashamed of in needing a little help. There’s no weakness in it.” I made sure to put emphasis on the last part. I didn’t want him walking away thinking I felt he was less of a man because he’d shown his emotions.
“I hear you.” He slowly pulled himself up and reached down to lift me. “Ugh.”
I looked at him. “I hope that ugh wasn’t referring to the fact you think I’m heavy.” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting.
“No, even I’m not that stupid.” He laughed as he dodged the swing of my arm. “It’s Daniel. He’s almost frantic wondering where we are.”
We helped dust each other off, brushing away pieces of leaves and dirt. I heard the movement of a rabbit, hopping through the foliage and noted the sounds of the woods had returned. The crisis had been averted.
Walking back in the direction of the house, we swung our arms between us as we held hands. I looked down at our fingers entwined together, and couldn’t help but smile. Yep, we were okay.
I flashed him some images of what else I wanted to see entwined, expecting to get a response, but Mason looked like he was enjoying his surroundings. I added a little heat to my thoughts, sending them back along the pathway and was rewarded with that sexy smile I loved so much.
“Really? You promise?” he questioned, his temperature spiking with arousal.
“And then some.” I sent him a new image that caused even me to blush.
When I got no reaction, I sighed heavily. I was getting tired of how sporadic my connection with him was acting. One thing I noticed was it was practically flawless when I was in close proximity to him while in wolf form. It kind of made sense, but it wasn’t good enough. Seeing we spent most of our day and night as humans, I really needed it to work perfectly each and every time.
I gasped as an idea flashed through my mind and fear rushed through me. Please, please don’t make that be why.
“What if my connection problem is because we’re mismatched?” I blurted out.
“Mismatched?” he asked, a confused look on his face.
“Yeah, what happens if I got the wrong wolf? What if she was supposed to go to someone else and there was some big cosmic mix up?” I knew I sounded delusional, but at this point I was clutching at straws.
Mason ran his fingers through my hair, separating some of the strands now they were drying. “Baby, it doesn’t work like that, remember? Each of us are born with a wolf that is unique to us, one who brings us balance and helps us be complete. There is no such thing as mix ups, wrong deliveries, or whatever. You and your wolf were destined to be together. You strengthen and help one another when the other is weak. I’m sure if you asked her, she’d tell you the same thing. It’s a soul connection that can’t be denied or replicated. There’s something else at work here.”