“It’s a thoroughly modern law, don’t you think?”
“Yes, while seeming to be a conformist law, it is a drastic law after all.”
“Because people …,” the Boss began to say, but then fell silent.
“Yes, more precisely: what everybody would like is for nothing to change, but for life to improve.”
“Ah, it’s not going to be easy.”
“No. But if we continue with this line of laws, there is a series of variations that could be developed. For example, ‘This law decides that things can be done in one way or any other way.’ How about that? Isn’t this also a law that fits perfectly into the objective of making laws that do not incite any kind of protest? ‘This law decides that things can be done in one way or any other way.’ It’s a brilliant formula, even if I say so myself. Yes, it’s not bad. But I always liked making concrete, objective laws, which people can understand.”
“Oh, Boss, don’t be stubborn.”
3
The Boss was not convinced. He liked the sound of the law, its rhythm, the way it began and ended, however the contents of the law, they didn’t quite convince him.
It was as though something was missing. That was it: something was missing here. But what?
The Boss repeated the sentence again, this time out loud: “‘This law decides that things can be done in one way or any other way.’ I know!” murmured the Boss. “I know what I think is missing. It’s a very individual perception, I acknowledge that, but here it is: this law is about allowing one to do something in one way or in any other way — very well, but the question is: What? What is this law talking about?”
“That is never stated explicitly,” murmured, condescendingly, the older Assistant, “it’s always ambiguous, undetermined. Mention is made of something as though everybody knows what that something is. I don’t know what that something is, you don’t know, nobody knows; however, you can be sure of one thing: the people like this kind of law.”
“They do?”
“Of course they do. To be able to do something in one way or in any other way? Is there anyone who would not like this kind of imposition?”
“But what will this change?” asked the Boss. “What will change, for example, with, ‘This law decides that this law does not decide anything’?”
“Nothing changes.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing. But that is what the people want.”
“What I want, you know,” exclaimed the Boss, in his enthusiastic tone of voice, “what I want is to do everything, I mean everything, for the people!”
“Then, Boss, don’t do anything; they won’t notice the difference.”
“Profound reading,” murmured Mister Kraus. “Politicians don’t read books; at most they read the titles. They do the same thing with people.”
About the Nation’s Aircraft
1
“Dear Assistants, I am very angry.”
“Why, Boss? Some other unpleasant news?”
“No, today it isn’t because of the newspapers, it’s because of the world.”
“Ah, so it isn’t such a serious matter!”
“That’s not the question: they told me that we do not have even half an aircraft to fight fires. Is that true?”
“It isn’t true,” said one Assistant, indignantly, “it isn’t true!”
“It isn’t true,” said the other Assistant.
“We have half an aircraft,” affirmed the First Assistant.
“We have half an aircraft!” emphasized the second.
“We have two half-aircraft,” added the First Assistant, raising two of his little fingers high into the sky.
“Two?”
“Yes, two half-aircraft.”
“And how much does that make?” asked the Boss.
“Two half-aircraft make one completely whole aircraft.”
“One?” exclaimed the Boss, raising a finger to indicate his indignation.
“Yes, two halves: one. Half plus half.”
“But apart from that helicopter that works,” said the First Assistant, “we also have another helicopter that does not work.”
“That also counts,” murmured the Second Assistant.
“And what does it do?” asked the Boss.
“It observes.”
“Vigilance.”
“It’s very alert.”
“The helicopter?”
“And the radio works!”
2
“It’s more a question of a concept.”
“A concept, how?” asked the Boss.
“When they say that we do not have aircraft to fight fires one feels like saying: What do you know about the concept of aircraft?”
“Exactly, that’s what one feels like saying,” agreed the other Assistant.
“It’s that there are two kinds of aircraft,” explained the First Assistant. “High aircraft and low aircraft. The high aircraft …”
“… are those that fly,” completed the Second Assistant.
“Low aircraft …”
“… are those that don’t fly!” completed the Boss, with a smile of satisfaction (he loved to complete sentences).
“Exactly!”
“While it’s true that we do not have many aircraft that fly, we have a vast quantity of aircraft that run.”
“A vast quantity,” added the Second Assistant.
“But these low aircraft,” murmured the Boss, “trained to fight fires are … cars?”
“No, Boss.”
“They’re the firemen!!”
“The firemen?”
“Exactly, the firemen. But forget that word. The new name for fireman, adopted by us, is precisely that of LOW AIRCRAFT.”
“And the firemen’s fire trucks?”
“Not all of them are out of order.”
3
“Therefore, high aircraft are those that fly, low aircraft are those that do not fly.”
“Exactly.”
“But we then had to subdivide them into two more categories; among the low aircraft there are high low aircraft and low low aircraft.”
“How?”
“We established a reference: one meter and seventy-five centimeters. Firemen who are shorter than one meter and seventy-five centimeters are classified as low low aircraft. They never attack a fire from above.”
“Very well.”
“Firemen who are taller than one meter and seventy-five centimeters are then classified as high among the category of low aircraft.”
“Very well.”
“Keeping in mind our human resources, and this management of heights, we further decided that only firemen who are less than one meter and seventy-five centimeters would go inside the helicopter. Thus, on the ground we have more apparently low, but high, aircraft.”
“A good strategic decision.”
“Yes.”
“There is just one problem,” murmured the Boss, suddenly.
Everybody was quiet. The Boss was pondering the matter and he had raised one arm.
“The problem,” said the Boss, “is that, by considering the firemen to be low aircraft it is true that we will have an abundance of aerial resources.”
“Yes?”
“But we will then no longer have any terrestrial resources!”
“Oh, Boss, we didn’t think of that!”