I stumbled to a halt, limbs numb. Paul’s eyes locked on mine, and my heart seemed to plunge into my stomach. For a second, I hoped he didn’t recognize me. We were still so far away; I must look different, too. But recognition lit his expression. He didn’t smile or wave. He froze in place as if seeing me was as much a shock to him as it was to me.
I ripped my gaze away from him, spun on my heel, and darted into the girl’s restroom. My heart had clambered up my throat now, my pulse a flurry of beating wings beneath my breastbone. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t think I would ever be ready.
I turned to the nearest sink, twisted on the cold water, and splashed my face. At least I didn’t have to worry about smearing my makeup. I wasn’t wearing any. It had been well past midnight by the time I returned to my dorm, and I’d barely slept afterward. When I woke this morning, I was too tired for mascara.
I looked down at my outfit, a hastily donned long-sleeved T-shirt of a colorless gray and a pair of loose-fitting jeans over sneakers. I couldn’t face Paul looking like this. Why hadn’t anyone warned me he would be here? A girl needed the right clothes, let alone makeup, to face her murderous apprentice ex-boyfriend with any kind of confidence.
For a second, I thought I might be sick, but then the door opened behind me, and Selene’s voice said, “Dusty?”
I faced her, feeling considerably calmer in her presence.
She frowned at the sight of me, her lower lip sticking out in something close to a pout. “You’re not seriously going to let him affect you like that, are you?”
I swallowed guiltily and then felt a flicker of anger. Both at her for pointing out my weakness and at me for letting it happen. She was right. The more I allowed him to bother me, the more he won. I refused to let him.
Tugging down the end of my shirt, I stood up straight, raising my head high. “No, I’m not.”
Selene bared her perfect teeth in a smile. “Well, good. Because Eli and Paul are about to get in a fight. Which might not be too helpful in your get-him-to-trust-you quest.”
“What?”
I stormed past her, the sound of raised voices beyond the door registering in my ears. I had to push my way through a wall of bodies as I exited the restroom. It seemed every student in my year and probably several others had gathered in the hallway to witness the fight.
Only Eli and Paul weren’t fighting. Not yet. As I broke through the crowd, I saw them circling each other like a pair of teenaged lions. Eli had stripped down to a T-shirt, and the muscles in his forearms bulged in and out as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
Across from him, Paul held his ground, his hands fisted, too, but his expression less intense than Eli’s. He looked resigned to the fight, rather than hungry for it.
Eli was hungry though, his face livid, eyes narrowed to pinpricks. But I knew he wouldn’t strike first. It went against his code.
But from the look of it, he would be waiting a long time. That was unless magic became a factor. Worried, I searched Paul up and down for a wand or staff. He wore a thick silver band on his left hand, and I guessed that was it, hidden by a glamour. I couldn’t believe the Magi Senate would deny him his computers but allow him access to magic.
I looked around, wondering where the Will Guard was, but I couldn’t see beyond the crowd.
“I don’t want any trouble with you.” The sound of Paul’s voice went through me like a lightning strike, setting my nerve endings afire. I knew it so well. The memory of the way he’d sounded that last time, when he used his siren powers to try and force me to serve Marrow, haunted me.
I shut my eyes and counted to three, forcing those memories away. Then I opened them again, trying to figure out what to do next.
“I don’t care what you want.” Eli stepped forward and Paul retreated. He kept his head down, almost in submission, but I caught the hard glint in his eyes. He was doing everything he could to keep his temper in check.
“You’re a liar and a backstabber and a killer,” Eli went on. “You killed Rosemary Vanholt. You tried to kill Dusty and Selene and me.”
Paul’s head shot up, the wary weakness of a moment before gone. “I didn’t kill Rosemary.”
Eli spat. “You helped.”
The crowd murmured around us, people hungry for such juicy tidbits.
“And I would never hurt Dusty.” Paul’s gaze flickered to my face for a second, and I flinched. When his expression darkened, I knew that he’d seen it.
Great, way to rock the femme fatale, Dusty.
“Don’t you dare look at her.” Eli spoke each word slowly, deliberately. I could tell he was on the verge of exploding, and I knew it was all because of how much Paul had hurt me.
But I couldn’t let him take this any further. What Paul had done didn’t matter anymore. Only what he would do next.
I stepped forward, forcing my way in between them. I placed a hand flat against Eli’s chest and pushed. “Leave him be.”
Eli didn’t budge. For a moment, I didn’t think he’d heard me at all. I pushed again, this time, digging my fingers in a little. Eli’s gaze shifted from Paul to me. A sound like a hiss escaped his throat.
“Stay out of it, Dusty.” He grabbed my hand and pushed it away, his touch gentle even in his anger.
I steeled my resolve. “No.” This time I shoved him with both hands, forcing him to take a step backward to maintain his balance. “Leave him alone.”
Eli’s mouth fell open. “Why are you defending him?”
“I…” My voice trailed off as I wracked my brains for an explanation. The dozens of people watching us were listening so loudly I could almost hear their ears straining. I tried to plead with him with my eyes, to convey to him that it was a secret I would share with him later, but he wasn’t looking at me. He kept his gaze trained on Paul, his body braced for an attack.
“You don’t want to do this,” I said, grasping for any words that would do. “You’ve been in enough trouble lately. And he hasn’t done anything.” Yet, I thought but didn’t say.
Eli’s hands dropped to his side, his expression incredulous. “I can’t believe you can say that after all he did.”
I took a deep breath, hating the betrayal in Eli’s voice that I was standing against him on this, of all things. But I’d given Lady Elaine my word. “Everybody deserves a second chance. Even him.” I managed to sound sincere, even to my ears. It helped that I wasn’t looking at Paul directly.
Eli didn’t respond for several long, strained seconds. From somewhere behind me, I heard the arrival of the Will Guard, loud voices shouting for people to break it up.
“I guess we’ll see about that,” Eli said at last. Then he turned and strode away, his back so rigid, his muscles might’ve been made of iron.
I watched him go, my throat tight with a dozen nameless emotions. I should’ve warned him last night when I had the chance.
Sorry, he had said.
I guess we both were now.
I turned toward Paul, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came to me. There was still too much between us. I walked past him without a word. I’d done enough for one day.
I knew I needed to explain things to Eli, but by the time I’d gone through the breakfast line, he’d already decided to sit at Lance’s table. It wasn’t the first time he’d chosen to sit there instead of with Selene and me—he did it fairly often, maintaining his friendships as it were—but this morning I knew his motivation wasn’t so diplomatic. I couldn’t bring myself to go over there, not with Katarina sitting across from him. I decided it best to give him some time to cool off first.
I sat down with Selene, determined to ignore Eli completely for now. This proved especially hard as Selene failed to provide much distraction. She was too sleepy for a deep conversation as she kept yawning around bites of her fruit and yogurt parfait. When I’d come in last night she was still awake and only just changing into her pajamas. I didn’t bother asking what she’d been doing. I had a pretty good feeling she wouldn’t tell me. Selene could be private to a fault. Nothing could make her spill her secrets until she was ready.