Once in the hallway, Paul turned toward me and touched my shoulder. “Be careful tomorrow. And I’ll see you later.”
He let his fingers trail down my arm as he stepped back. Then he turned and walked away.
Selene, no doubt as aware of Eli’s brooding look as I was, quickly said, “We better hurry.” She took hold of my hand and started pulling me down the hallway after her. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Eli.”
“Wait, Dusty,” Eli said before we’d gone two steps. “Can you stay for a second?”
“There’s really not time, Eli,” Selene said over her shoulder.
“Please.”
I stopped and pulled out of Selene’s grasp. “I’ll catch up.” She considered arguing for a second, but then nodded once and hurried on, leaving me alone with Eli.
I turned and faced him, my heartbeat already picking up. “What is it?”
Eli ran his hands through his hair, not meeting my gaze. “I … I just need you to promise me something.”
I didn’t respond, but waited for him to go on.
“Just promise me that no matter what happens you won’t get back together with Paul,” he said in a single breath.
Really? Of all the things he could say that was it? I closed my eyes, disappointment and frustration clouding my good judgment. I opened them again and said, “I can’t promise you that. Everybody deserves a second chance. Even Paul.” I wasn’t being spiteful, although I had no plans of getting back together with him. I really did mean it. If more people believed in second chances and forgiveness, then the massacre of my kind all those years ago might never have happened.
Eli stared at me, his expression masked. I expected him to be angry—I half wanted him to be angry—but he looked only cold, a human ice sculpture. I waited a couple of seconds for him to say something, but he didn’t.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around my sides. “And at least he shows some interest in me, even if there is an ulterior motive behind it. It’s better than nothing.”
Eli flinched, my words hitting the mark. He shook his head, exhaling. “I’m sorry, Dusty.”
And there it was again—a nonsensical apology. I’d finally had enough. “You know, I don’t get you at all. One minute you’re kissing me and touching me like you want something more, and the next you’re all whoops, just kidding.” I raised my hands in emphasis. “And now this stuff with Paul. I mean, why do you even care if I get back with him? It’s not like we’re together.”
Eli closed the distance between us in one step and put his hands on my shoulders. If he had been ice before, he was fire now. “I can’t stand the idea of you with him. And I do want more from you … so much more. You have no idea.” The look in his eyes as he spoke took my breath away. I didn’t move, waiting for him to kiss me, to make good on that look.
Instead he stepped back, letting go of me. “But I can’t … we can’t.”
“Why not?” I said, breathless, a terrible wrenching in my chest.
Eli lowered his gaze. “I can’t tell you.” I started to protest, but he cut me off. “I promised I wouldn’t and I have to keep my word. But there is a reason, Dusty.”
“What reason?” I dared a step nearer him.
Eli stepped back. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” And then he turned and hurried out the door. I went after him, but he disappeared down another hallway so quickly it might’ve been magic. And when I called out for him to stop, only silence greeted me.
I left then too, more confused and hurt than ever and with a sadness tugging on my heart like a sinking anchor. If I wasn’t careful, I would drown.
27
Shakedown
I decided I believed Eli’s reasons for not telling me why we couldn’t be together were genuine, but that didn’t make the not knowing any easier. I was up half the night thinking about it. I wondered if there was something wrong with him. The whole thing might’ve been a scene out of a soap opera where one of the characters finds out he’s got some terminal condition and he breaks it off with the love interest to try and save her from the heartbreak of losing him. That might be a cliché, but I imagined the premise was true enough.
Only … if Eli was sick, why would he have promised somebody else not to tell me about it? It didn’t make sense. Plus, the idea of him being sick was too horrible to consider even for a second. Then I wondered if maybe it was the other way around, that there was something wrong with me that I didn’t know about. But I couldn’t see how that was possible.
No, I didn’t think there would be any guessing the truth. I would just have to learn it for myself, some way or another. But not right now. There were too many other important things to worry about.
Nevertheless, stuff between us was weird the next day. We didn’t ignore each other, but we were both tense and far too quiet. Selene didn’t comment about it, but that was only because I’d told her what Eli had said. To my relief and disappointment she hadn’t speculated what his reasons might be. There just wasn’t enough to speculate on, I supposed.
When lunchtime rolled around, Eli and I ate quickly and then slipped out. We didn’t talk as we walked along, making our way to Finnegan Hall. The air around us seemed charged with electricity.
As we reached the door to Miss Norton’s classroom, Eli touched my arm. “You wait out here in case anyone comes by.”
I nodded, and he slipped inside. Time seemed to slow as I waited, silently walking up and down the corridor on the lookout for unwelcome guests. Every time I checked my watch, I expected to find that ten minutes had passed, but it always turned out to be one or two.
Then when ten minutes had finally come and gone, I turned to the door into the classroom, ready to pull him out of there. We were cutting it close. But just as I reached for the handle, the door swung open.
Eli jumped, startled to find me standing so close.
“What took you so long?” I peered into the classroom.
He ran his hands down the front of his shirt. “Nothing. I just wanted to be thorough.”
The sound of approaching footsteps echoed toward us, and we both darted down the hallway and around the corner, out of sight.
As we climbed down the stairs, I said, “Did you find anything useful?”
Eli sighed. “Not a thing.”
“Really?” I craned my head to look at him, and my foot caught on the step. Eli grabbed my arm, keeping me upright. But he let go almost at once, as if touching me was as dangerous as trying to handle a live wire. Yeah, this tension between us was really starting to suck.
But it only got worse later when we squeezed into the broom cupboard across the hall from Miss Norton’s office after fifth period. With the two of us in there, I had to practically stand on top of him. As it was, Eli wrapped his arms around my waist, the tight confines demanding it. The only good thing about the situation was that it was too dark for me to see his face. But I could hear his breathing, and each time he moved so much as an inch, my whole body reacted, tingles traveling over my skin in pleasant, yet unwelcome waves.
I tried to ignore the sensation by forcing my mind on the task ahead of us, but thoughts of what it would feel like to lean forward and kiss him in the dark kept pushing their way to the front of my mind. I decided it was a very good thing that I wasn’t exceptionally skilled at telepathy. I definitely didn’t want to know what thoughts Eli was entertaining every time his fingers moved against my back.
Finally, we heard the bell sound for the start of sixth period. Thank goodness. We waited a couple of seconds, and then Eli leaned even closer to me, reaching his hand toward the door. For a second his distinctive smell—something dark and musky and completely masculine—overwhelmed me, making me lightheaded.