“Poppa, you don’t understand. We weren’t— We weren’t doing what you think we were doing. We were just sort of--well--wrestling.”
“Wrestling, hey?” Poppa winked at Richie. “You in your pajamas and the lady blushing naked. Okay, so you were wrestling. Such wrestling is not a bad start. Not a bad start at all.”
“Oh, Richie,” Mama wailed again, “how could you?”
“Mama, I didn’t,” Richie shouted desperately.
“It’s his fault!” Mama pointed dramatically at Cliff. “These musicians are all no good. He led you astray!”
“Me?” Cliff drew himself up with dignity. “I was actually chaperoning. And I assure you that I would never let Richie do anything I wouldn’t do myself.”
“Ha!” Poppa laughed. “That’s a hot one.”
“You can say that again,” Llona murmured, agreeing.
“That’s a hot one,” Poppa repeated obligingly.
“George!” Mama commanded. “Don’t you talk to that woman! After what she did to our son—-"
“It should happen to me,” Poppa muttered.
“And why not?” Llona batted her eyes at him.
“This is too much!” Mama raised her handbag threateningly and started for Llona.
“Now, Mama, don’t get excited.” Richie got between them.
“My boy!” She burst into tears again and enveloped Richie’s head between her saggy breasts.
“My boy, too,” Poppa said proudly.
Richie came up for air. “But what are you two doing here?” he asked. “How did you know where to find me? And why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”
“Your Aunt Sadie had her gall bladder out,” Mama explained. “She lives only fifty miles from here, and we saw in the paper where this band you’re with was playing in Caldwell. So we decided to drive over and see you. Poppa”-- she looked at him accusingly—“didn’t want to come. But I made him.”
“I’m glad I came,” Poppa admitted, still staring at Llona. His eyes widened as she stretched wearily and the motion made her naked breasts stand out. “Yessir, I’m very glad I came.”
Mama glared at him, then turned back to Richie and continued. “When we got here we called the theatre and they told us what hotel you were staying at and the room number. We didn’t call from downstairs because I thought it would be nice to surprise you. And instead, I’m the one who’s surprised. Richie, what ever made you—?”
“Mama, I told you, nothing happened. Believe me.”
“All right. You’re my son and so I believe you.” Mama sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“You do?” Poppa looked at his wife in astonishment.
“Of course. I know my son. I’m his mother. Who should know him better? When he tells the truth, I know and I believe him. No matter how it looks, I’m sure there’s an explanation. Isn’t there, Richie?”
“Of course, Mama.”
“So what’s the explanation?” Poppa asked skeptically.
“I got lost and stumbled into the wrong room in the dark,” Llona began glibly.
“In the dark?” Mama interrupted. “Don’t you lie to us, you slut. It’s bright as day in here.”
“That’s because I turned on the light,” Cliff put in helpfully. “Before that it was as dark as a junkie’s soul.”
“That’s right,” Llona continued. “So I got into the wrong room in the dark and--”
“The lights in the hall outside were out, too?” Poppa asked.
Llona shot him a baleful look.
“Oops,” he said. “Sorry. There was probably a momentary power failure. Right?”
“That must have been it,” Llona said gratefully. “Anyway, I stumbled into this drum and it made a racket. I guess that woke these boys up. That one”-- she pointed at Cliff—“turned on the light while that one”-—she pointed at Richie “was jumping me in the dark. I guess he thought I was a thief. Right?"
“Absolutely,” Richie said. “I thought you were a second-story man.”
“Instead of a tall-story girl,” Poppa muttered.
“What?” Mama asked. “What did you say, George?”
“Nothing. Nothing.”
“Well don’t mutter. If you’ve got something to say, speak up.”
“So, you see how simple it is, Mama?” Richie said. “That’s all there was to it.”
“So you see how simple it is, Poppa,” Mama echoed triumphantly. “I told you there was a reasonable explanation.”
“Very reasonable.” Papa sighed with disappointment. “And somehow, knowing your son, I can believe it.” He reached out and took the unlit cigar from between Richie’s lips. He put it back in the case and put the case back in his pocket. “He,” Poppa said accurately, pointing at Cliff, “is more your son’s speed.” He fell silent, a moody resigned look on his face.
“Hey, watch those innuendos,” Cliff protested.
“Yes, George, you shouldn’t say things like that,” Mama rebuked him. “I’m sure this is a very nice boy,” she added, reversing her attitude toward Cliff. “You have a mother?” she asked, beaming at him.
“I,” Cliff told her gravely, “am a confirmed mother lover.”
“I thought so. What other kind of boy would my Richie be so friendly with? Breeding always tells.”
“My God, I hope not!” Poppa exclaimed, looking at his son with the old distaste.
“Say, Mrs. Munroe,” Cliff said earnestly, “I’ll bet you make a delicious chicken soup.”
“It’s not bad, if I do say so myself.” Mama lowered her eyes modestly.
“And she’s not even Jewish,” Cliff told Llona out of the corner of his mouth.
“What?” Mama asked. “What did you say?”
“I said you were a jewel,” Cliff told her. “Richie’s a very lucky boy to have such a mother.”
“Why, thank you.” Mama beamed. “I’ll bet your mother is very nice, too. She must be with such a sweet boy for a son. The acorn never falls very far from the tree.”
“Only as far as the umbilical apron strings will let it,” Cliff said.
“What? I don’t think I-—”
“Hey, wait a minute!” Poppa snapped his fingers. He hadn’t really been listening to the dialogue between Cliff and his wife, and now he was struck with a sudden thought. “Just how does it happen,” he asked, “that this young lady was wandering around the halls of this hotel naked in the first place?”
“I was looking for the privy,” Llona said weakly.
All four faces stared back their disbelief at her.
“I walk in my sleep.” She tried again desperately.
“Then you really shouldn’t sleep in the buff,” Poppa told her gently.
“You must have some real wild dreams,” Cliff observed.
“Clifton!” There was a warning note in Richie’s voice as he noted that the speculative gleam was back in C1ifi’s eyes.
Mama didn’t notice it. “I don’t believe you!” she told Llona firmly. “You came here deliberately to seduce my son. A young boy just isn’t safe anywhere these days. Richie, you should call the management and have her arrested.”
“Wait a minute,” Poppa said with a resurgence of hope. “Maybe Richie invited her here.”
“I did not!” Richie said indignantly.
“I knew it was too good to be true,” Poppa sighed.
“And what’s more, I think maybe Mama’s idea is a good one,” Richie said. “I don’t ‘want her here. She has no business here. This is my room. Mine and C1iff’s.”
“I’m glad you remembered that, Richie,” Cliff said. “This room is half mine. So why don’t we just say I invited her.”
“Clifton, you didn’t!” Tears of jealousy sprang to Richie’s eyes.
“Did you?” Mama demanded. “Because if you did, you should be ashamed. What would your mother say?”
“I know what his father would say,” Poppa muttered.
“And if you did,” Mama continued, “I don’t think Richie should room with you any more. Richie, this isn’t the kind of boy you should have anything to do with.”