“Of course not.” He was startled. “We don’t keep loaded guns around the place. That’s dangerous.”
“Yes. I see. I wonder -- Could you show me how it works?”
“Glad to.” He took the gun from her. “Now this is the safety. You always keep it locked except for when you’re actually ready to use the gun. Then you just slip it off like this.” He flicked the safety off with his thumb. “And when you want to shoot, you squeeze the trigger. Don’t pull it, squeeze it.”
“I see. And how do you load it?”
“That’s easy. You just-— Say, you’ve never had a gun before, have you?”
"No."
“How come you took out a permit, then?” the young man asked.
“There was a robbery next door,” Ruby told him, making it up as she went along. “It frightened me. I have a friend with the police and he got me a permit. So now I want to get a gun to go with it. But you’re right. I don’t really know much about how guns work.” She paused until his face told her he had swallowed the story. “You were going to show me how to load it,” she reminded him.
“Oh, sure.” He broke open the gun and showed her the cartridge chamber. “You just slip the bullets in here, close it again, put the safety back on, and that’s all there is to it.” He performed the operation as he talked. “See?”
“I’m not sure.” Ruby feigned dullness. “Maybe if you could show me how it works with real ammunition— You have some bullets for it here, don’t you?”
“Oh, sure. Right here.” He opened the drawer and took out some bullets. “Here, I’ll show you again.” He broke open the gun, slipped in three cartridges, and snapped it closed again. He flicked on the safety. “Now do you see? That’s all there is to it?”
“I see. Could I hold it for a minute now? I mean, I’d just like to see how it feels with the bullets in it?”
“Well, I really shouldn’t—”
“Please.” Ruby fluttered her eyelids at him and smiled coyly.
“Well,” he smiled back, “I guess it can’t do any harm. You hardly look like the kind of girl who’d try to hold up a hock shop.” He handed her the loaded gun. “Just remember not to switch the safety off,” he reminded her.
“I’ll remember.” Ruby took the gun and weighed it in her hand.
The young man turned away for an instant, just remembering to lock the drawer from which he’d taken the bullets.
Quick as a flash, Ruby raised the revolver to her temple and pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened.
Only a click.
The young man turned back to her, unaware of the action. The gun was in her hand and her hand rested on the counter, just as it had before he turned away.
“How did you say you fired this thing?” Ruby asked, a touch of annoyance in her voice.
“Well, first you click off the safety, and then --”
Of course! She’d forgotten the safety! “That other gun in the window,” she said. “I wonder if you could get it out so I could compare it with this one close up.”
“Sure. Glad to. This is the better gun, though. The stock’s genuine mother-of-—” He continued talking as he I bent his head over the showcase and reached into it. With his back to her, Ruby was inspired to try again. She flicked off the safety. She pointed the gun at her head with the mouth of the barrel touching. She pulled the trigger.
Again nothing happened.
The young man turned around, the second gun in his hand. “Here we are,” he told her.
Ruby ignored the second gun. “Are you sure this gun works?” Her voice was quite annoyed now.
“Yeah. Sure. We’ll guarantee it. You don’t have to worry.” He looked at her curiously.
“You just switch off the safety and pull the trigger and it will fire,” Ruby said persistently.
“Is that all there is to it?”
“Sure. As long as there’s a bullet in the chamber, it’ll fire.”
“A bullet in the chamber? What does that mean?” -
“Well, this chamber holds five cartridges. I put three in before, remember? That means there are two empty chambers. Now, if you pull the trigger and the hammer hits an empty chamber, then nothing will happen. But if you hit one with a bullet in it, then pow. Do you understand it now?”
“I think so.”
“Okay. Now, about this other gun-—” He held up the second revolver.
“Never mind. I think you were right. This is the better gun. You can put that one back.”
He turned away again to return the second gun to the window showcase.
Ruby stuck the gun in her mouth, switched off the safety and pulled the trigger once again.
For the second time the hammer hit an empty chamber. For the third time nothing happened.
Only this time the young man had seen her action out of the corner of his eye. “Are you nuts!” He whirled around and grabbed for the gun before she could pull the trigger again.
They grappled for it. He got it out of her mouth and forced her hand down, away from her head. She managed to hold onto it, but it was pointing away from her now, toward the interior of the shop. He banged her hand against the counter, trying to make her drop the gun. Her finger squeezed the trigger and the gun went off.
She dropped it then—dropped it, wrenched free and ran. He was right behind her, yelling. Ruby raced around a corner. There was a subway entrance there. She didn’t hesitate. She plunged down the stairway. He didn’t see her duck into the subway and continued running down the street, thinking he was still chasing her.
Ruby bought a token and went through the turnstile. I botch everything, she was thinking to herself. My love affair. My whole life. And now even trying to kill myself. I just can’t do anything right. No wonder Bill doesn’t want me!
But Ruby was determined. She’d had it. She was through with life. She vowed that this was one act she wouldn’t botch again. She’d find a way to kill herself. She’d end her life if it was the last thing she did! The thought made her smile wryly.
As she stood there at the edge of the subway platform, the sound of an approaching train made the means to her end appear suddenly obvious to Ruby. Of course! So simple! Why hadn’t she thought of it before? She’d simply throw herself in front of the speeding subway train and that would be it. Simple!
She leaned out over the platform and peered down the track. She had a flash of regret that she hadn’t brought her glasses with her. She was so damn myopic without them. If she’d brought them, she could have judged the approaching train just right and jumped at the last minute. Somehow, that would have been easier. But she didn’t have them with her, and so she’d just have to do it the hard way.
As soon as she saw the lights of the approaching train, Ruby leaped lightly from the platform to the tracks. She lay across the tracks face down, her neck neatly resting on one, the other cutting across her thighs. She didn’t know it, but one of her hands was a scant half-inch from the third rail. With her other hand she was demurely arranging her skirt over her legs, not wishing to look awkward if anybody should spy her from the platform above during the moment or so of life remaining to her. Suicide was all very well, but Ruby wanted to die in a ladylike fashion.
The thunder of the approaching train was still faint when somebody did see her. “Hey!!’ he yelled. “Look! Look there! There’s a girl lying on the tracks!”
Others took up his cry, and a crowd collected.
“Oh, my God! There’s a train coming!” a woman screamed.
“Come on, girlie, grab my hand.” A man leaned out over the tracks. ”I’ll pull you up. There’s still time!”
“There isn’t!” Another woman screamed hysterically. “Here comes the train!”
The hubbub of voices was lost to Ruby as the rumble of the approaching train turned into a roar. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the end. The roar was so loud now that her ears hurt. Just another second more and—