“You don’t know the half of it,” Llona told him with fervor. “So long now,” she added hastily as he lifted the receiver to his ear. She slipped out into the hallway quickly.
All clear. Llona dashed down the empty hallway for Lansing’s room. She stopped in front of the door and looked at the number. 509. That was the number—wasn’t it? She suffered a momentary disorientation. 507? 505? 501? What was the number of Lansing’s room anyway?
Oh, she was being ridiculous! 509. Surely this was it. She’d stopped in front of the door instinctively, hadn’t she? If she hadn’t stopped to think about it, she would have been sure. She was just being silly. 509. This was it. Llona opened the door and went inside.
“Amos! She’s back!” The voice bellowed out of the darkness.
“What? What is it Agatha? What’s wrong, my pet?”
“Don’t you ‘my pet’ me, you worm! She’s back, I tell you! Your shameless hussy of a mistress has come back!”
“Agatha, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The light was switched on and Amos started fumbling in the general vicinity of the nightstand for his spectacles.
“There! There she is!” Agatha Tweedlebert pointed dramatically.
“So she is.” Amos peered through his spectacles and decided against pinching himself to see if he was dreaming. If he was, he didn’t want to chance waking himself up.
“And she’s still naked!” Agatha roared.
“So. She. Is.”
“Amos, you stop looking at her like that.”
“Sorry, my love. Looking at her like what?”
“Like a lecher, that’s what! I know you’re a lecher, but you don’t have to advertise it.”
“Sorry.”
“Amos, hand me that book.”
“This book? What for, my love?”
“So I can throw it at her, that’s what for. Come on, you ogling twerp! Let me have it.”
“Here?’ Amos handed her the book absent-mindedly and continued staring at Llona.
“Amos!” The cover had slipped off the book in transit, and Agatha was staring at it appalled. “What have you been reading?”
“Why, umm—”
“Pornography! Amos, you’ve been reading pornography!”
“No I haven't. I --”
“Satyr!” She brought the book down on top of his skull, and Amos fled the bed. “That’s right! Run to your painted Jezebel! You worm! Women! Dirty books! It’s too much! Do you hear me? Too much! I want a divorce! Do you hear me, you cringing lecher? A divorce!”
Throughout, Agatha had kept up a rapid fire of objects aimed indiscriminately at Amos and Llona. The oddly matched pair kept trying to get behind each other to avoid being hit. Finally, Llona managed to get the door opened. Amos scurried out of it ahead of her. Llona followed, pulling it closed behind her.
“Oh, no! You don’t get away that easy!” Agatha bounded from the bed. She tugged at the doorknob, but couldn’t budge it. “Divorce!” she screamed.
Llona was holding the knob on her side, her feet braced on either side of the doorframe. “I don’t think she means it.” She tried to console Amos, who was cowering behind her.
“You don’t? That's too bad.” His face fell.
“When she calms down you can explain it to her.”
“Explain it to her? How? I don’t understand it myself.”
“Well, just convince her that you really never saw me before.”
“And if I do that she won't divorce me?”
“Of course not,” Llona said soothingly.
“Then I won’! do it.” Amos stooped over and picked up the book Agatha had accidentally flung through the transom. He thumbed a few pages and smiled to himself. “Nope. I won’t do it.”
“Suit yourself. Say, would you mind holding onto this door for a minute? I’m getting tired.” '
“All right.” Amos grasped the knob in both hands and braced himself.
Llona stood back and listened to the torrent of abuse coming through the door. “My, she certainly has a temper,” she observed.
“Yes, she does. With her shouting like that, somebody’s sure to call the management.”
“You know, you’re right,” Llona said. “And in that case, I think I’d better be going. I don’t think I’m up to meeting the management right now.”
“But you’re not going to leave me alone here like this!” Amos looked at her desperately.
“I’m afraid I have to.”
“But what will I do?"
“Just don’t let go of that knob,” Llona told him. “Whatever you do, don’t let go!”
Amos watched her retreating nudity with mixed feelings. He watched until she rounded the corner of the hall and vanished from his sight.
Coming around the corner, Llona bumped head-on into a middle-aged, well-dressed couple. “Pardon me,” she said.
“Pardon me,” they chorussed in return. .
“It’s her again,” the man whispered as she passed.
“Yes, it is.”
“She’s still not wearing any clothes.”
“I noticed. And I noticed that you noticed, too. I still think it’s some kind of advertising gimmick. Probably some new service of the hotel’s.”
“Some new service, huh?” the man mused. “Well, I think we should find out about it. Maybe it’s something we could use.”
“I don’t think we should find out about it. I don’t think I could use it at all.”
“Well,” the man muttered, “I might be able to.”
“Not at your age.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Some things are ageless.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” She took his arm and led him into their room.
When Llona heard their door close behind her, she slowed down. What was she doing? Where was she going? Lansing’s room was back the way she’d come, right next door to the little man with the violent wife. Wasn't ‘it? Of course it was. Llona steeled herself and started to retrace her steps.
As she rounded the bend again, she heard the voice of the hotel detective talking to Amos Tweedlebert. “. . . and after all, she’s your wife. You’ll just have to stop her carrying on. We can’t have this kind of a commotion . . .” He saw Llona before she could run away.
“Hey! You there! Stop!”
But Llona was fleeing again. She raced down the stair- well with him chasing behind her. As if by instinct, Llona ran into the hall on the next floor, and made a beeline straight into Room 401.
The Barkers were so preoccupied that for a moment they didn’t notice Llona’s quiet entrance. They’d spent the interim since her last appearance mostly in quarreling. However, it was their honeymoon, and the quarrel had abaten in the face of their mutual realization that it was using up the precious time of their wedding night.
With this realization, Alice also admitted to herself that she’d been shaken up by Joe’s interest in another woman’s nudity at such a time. Her jealousy had fought with her modesty, and her determination to hold her bridegroom’s interest had decided the issue. She had gotten out of the bed and into the middle of the floor and slowly started to remove her nightgown. Joe, his penchant for the visual side of sex in the process of being realized at last, crouched forward on the bed to watch her.
Slowly, the flimsy material fell away from Alice’s breasts. Then the garment was sliding down over her hips. Finally it lay crumpled at her feet. Joe looked at his naked bride and licked his lips. She smiled at him, a little embarrassed, but eager as well. The lustful look he shot back at her made her turn momentarily shy. Demurely, she turned her face away. And that’s when she saw Llona.
“Joe! She's back!”
Joe followed her gaze. “I’ll say!"
“Make her get out of here!”
Joe didn’t answer. He took a long look at Llona’s naked and voluptuous figure. Then he looked at Alice’: nude body. He looked back’at Llona. His silence said regretfully that there was no comparison.