He put my foot down and leaned in closer, crawling on the couch until he was hovering over me. “Sometimes people are just misunderstood. People and animals. We can’t just assume they are thinking one thing and can avoid temptation. It’s hard as hell to avoid that red flag when it’s waving in your face.”
“Are we talking about the bull, or you, or writing now? Because I’m really confused.”
He grinned, his teeth flashing a brilliant white only a few inches from my face. “It’s always been you and me, Red. Even before we were us. You’ve always had the control in this relationship. Some things may distract us, but I’ll always come back to you.”
I swallowed hard. He always knew just what to say and it still left me speechless. When I first met the muscled guy I didn’t think much of him, but in just a few short months he’d become my everything. I’d fallen in love with the guy behind the amazing smile and killer abs and it scared the hell out of me. I’d thought I loved Robby, but it wasn’t like this. This was something way more powerful. This was something that I felt deep in my core and I was afraid what would happen if he didn’t feel it too.
“Sorry to get all cheesy on you. I just had to get that out.”
I shook my head and licked my lips. “No. I like it. You’re way better at this talking thing than I am.”
“We don’t need to talk, if that’s not what you want to do.” His lips were at my neck, the stubble from his cheeks tickling me.
I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his skin against mine. I wanted to let go and say those three little words to him. He could babble on with the most poetic of verses without even trying, and I, an aspiring writer, could barely string a sentence together in his presence. Instead I just moaned when he nipped at my earlobe.
“What do you want, Red?” he whispered.
“I don’t want anything right now but your lips on mine.”
And he obliged. His lips quickly finding mine and his tongue diving behind them. I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his neck and with his warm body pressed against mine. His hands went from running through my hair, down my face, and finally resting at my sides where his fingers found the space that my shirt didn’t meet my jeans. He skimmed the bare skin, sending goose bumps wherever his fingers touched.
When his lips dropped to my neck, I gasped and could feel him smiling between kisses. “How’s this for studying?”
“I’m not taking anatomy.” I breathed.
“Then say it in Spanish. That counts as studying, mi amiga.” His tongue ran along my jawline.
“Amiga means friend. You’re probably looking for something more like novia or amor.” I was barely able to get the words out, between his nibbling and kisses.
“God your brain is sexy. Keep talking.”
That was something I’d never heard, especially not in the middle of a make out session. But who was I to judge? I couldn’t even think of what to say, so I just didn’t think and started saying what I was feeling, but in Spanish. With each word I spoke his fingers dug into my sides, his breath ragged against my neck. It may not have technically been studying, but if I was using the language then it had to count for something. And it was the hottest study session I’d ever had.
“You are so unbelievably sexy,” John growled against my neck.
With his breath on my neck and his hands roaming around me, my body built up to the brink and then I cried out as his lips ran across my jaw. Did I seriously get off without him really touching me? Maybe he didn’t notice.
“I love it when you come for me,” he whispered in my ear.
Okay, so he did hear it. There was no way I could hide it. I had to think of something to say and fast. “Will you let me do the same for you?”
He lifted his head up, his eyes meeting mine. “Are you trying to suggest something, Red? Because I’m not expecting anything from you.”
“I want to.” I moved my hand down to the waistband of his jeans and dipped my fingers beneath it.
He inhaled a sharp breath through his teeth and I felt his hard ridges against my fingertips. I should have really thought about this before I put my hands there. Feeling through his jeans was one thing, but having it in my hands was another story. I didn’t have much experience in the dick department, but I’d have to say his was quite large and intimidating.
“Don’t start something if you don’t intend to finish,” he whispered
I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. It stared back at me like it was taunting me. But I couldn’t deny that the guy was beautiful everywhere. Even down to his perfectly manscaped regions. Now hopefully I could actually get it in my mouth. I should of thought about how big he would be before I started. I placed my hands on the curves of his hips before I looked up at him, licking my lips. “Just lie back and think of Espana.”
Chapter 23
Despite my continued attempts to study for finals, there was always some sort of interruption. And that interruption was named John.
“Seriously, my Spanish final is on Saturday.” I may have said the words, but even I didn’t believe them. With his lips on my neck, studying was the farthest thing from my mind.
“I’ll let you talk dirty to me in Spanish if that counts as studying.”
I sighed, wanting to give in. Wanting to seriously give in. But there was one big thing that I couldn’t give into and I wasn’t sure if I ever would be able to again. Would sex be different after cancer surgery? I wondered if I would feel different. If he would even want me after we tried it.
“John, I-I-I really need to study. You wouldn’t want me to be distracted and fail all my classes and get kicked out of school.”
He pulled back and sat next to me, wide-eyed like a scorned puppy. “Do you really want me to stop?”
I bit my bottom lip, trying to hide my smile. No, I didn’t want him to stop, but one of us had to. I wanted him, oh how badly I wanted him. But there were bigger things that I had to deal with than sex. Like school. And cancer. “You’re just a little bit of a distraction.”
“But I’m a damn good one.” A slight smile returned to his lips as he leaned forward.
I sighed. “If I want to stay in school I actually need to pass my classes and I haven’t been keeping up with anything lately.”
“You’re smart, Red. You probably can do these finals with your eyes closed and never need to study.”
“I wish.”
That might have been true, back when I was going to all of my classes. Between doctor’s appointments and taking breaks to hang out with John, classes had become secondary. I knew that I could get a lot of the power points online, but I also knew that a lot of professors based their grades on attendance. Something I was seriously slacking in.
He sank back on the couch and picked up his computer, putting it on his lap. “Fine. I’ll let you be.”
I picked my book back up. “Sorry, John. I’m not trying to be a bitch. Finals will be over soon and then you can have me all to yourself.”
“Until your sister gets here at least.”
Valerie was coming in the following Friday after finals to pick me up for Christmas break. She also heard about my fake ID and told me that I needed to take her out to the bars so she could act like a college kid again for one night.
“You don’t have to stay here. You can go home at any time.”
John only had one final and it was our history one which was on Monday. The rest of his finals were projects, but he was still staying around to hang out with me.
“Yeah about that...”
I didn’t even need to look up to know that he was rubbing the back of his neck. His nervous twitch. I set my book down and gave him my full attention. “About what?”