“But you just said it wasn’t working out,” he reminded her.
“All I said was that I was thinking about things! I didn’t say we were breaking up or anything.”
“Well, you could’ve fooled me.” David took a step backward and narrowed his eyes. “You really want to be with that guy?” His voice was scornful.
“You don’t even know him!” Maddy shot back. “And the last thing I need right now is you jumping all over me! Thanks a lot—I guess that’s what I get for confiding in you.”
“Fine. Then I guess I was wrong about Brian being too good for you. I take it back—it looks like you two are perfect for each other.”
“Maybe we are!” Maddy shouted at him. “He should be perfect for a spoiled suburban brat like me!” She emphasized the last words and watched his face harden.
“That was a long time ago. And I already apologized,” David said through clenched teeth. 189
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“Yeah, well, maybe you should say it again.” She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.
“Why? I was right all along—any girl who likes that narcissistic asshole can’t be anything but a spoiled brat.”
Maddy stared at him, her hands clenching into fists, nails digging painfully into her palms. She turned and ran back toward the house, her heart pounding in her ears. As she fled, she shot a quick glance over her shoulder. David stood alone among the trees, watching her, with the setting sun at his back.
! ! !
Maddy was sitting on her bed, runny-nosed and blotchy-faced, thinking dully that she should get up and find a tissue, when someone knocked on the door.
“C-come in,” she sniffled, giving up on the tissue and wiping her nose on her arm.
Maddy’s mom opened the door and took one look at her daughter’s swollen eyelids and matted hair. “I saw you running up to the house,” she said, sitting next to Maddy on the bed and putting her arms around her.
“You looked pretty upset.” Maddy gave up all semblance of control and started sobbing again, resting her face against her mother’s shoulder.
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mom handed her a tissue. “What is it, sweetie? I know this has been a hard week for you.”
“It has. I don’t know what to do!” Maddy wailed all of a sudden. Her mother looked concerned.
“About what?”
Maddy paused and took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure how to articulate what she was feeling. “It’s just that I feel so confused. I don’t know what I want. It was so weird when Brian was here—he didn’t even seem like the same person I remembered. Like, he wasn’t even listening when I was talking. He was never like that at home.”
Her mom’s eyebrows knitted. “I noticed that things seemed a little awkward between the two of you.”
“So awkward! He’s changed and I don’t know why.”
Maddy’s mother considered this for a moment.
“Here’s a thought,” she said. “Did you ever think that maybe it’s not Brian who’s changed, but you?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think that’s it—I mean, it’s only been a couple of months.”
“But think about it, Maddy. Brian’s been in the city this whole time, just like before. You’ve been the one in the new environment.”
Maddy was quiet. She hadn’t thought about it like that before. Her mom went on. “You know, honey, I haven’t mentioned this to you before, because you did seem to like Brian a lot and he’s not a bad person, but I 191
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have never really thought that he was smart enough or kind enough for you.”
Maddy started to protest but something stopped her. Wasn’t that sort of what David had said? “Oh, Mom,”
she said. “You’re just a little biased, don’t you think?”
Her mother stood up from the bed. “Not really. Now, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” Maddy said thoughtfully.
“Whatever you do decide,” her mother said, giving Maddy a pat on the arm, “be strong.”
“I will, Mom.”
“I’d expect nothing less from my own daughter.”
Maddie paused. “Mom, I—I’m sorry. For everything, all of it. For what a brat I’ve been all summer. It was incredibly dumb and disrespectful to throw that party. And I didn’t mean what I said about the vineyard being stupid. I was just frustrated.”
“Well, it’s all in the past. I’m just so glad we’ve had this time together up here, as a family, this summer,” her mother said. “I don’t think it’s turned out the way any of us expected.” She reached over and gave Maddy a little squeeze before softly closing the door behind her.
! ! !
Maddy continued lying on her bed for a while after her mother left, staring out the window at the night sky. She 192
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knew what she had to do. Her stomach did a little flip as she thought about calling Brian, but her instincts told her it was the right decision. She looked at the bedside clock. Nine thirty. Be strong, she told herself, and dialed him on her cell.
He answered right away. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing—how’s it going?” she said automatically, hugging a pillow to her chest.
“Okay. Just hanging out by the pool with Chad and the guys.” Great—there were people there.
“Well, um, do you think you could go inside or somewhere private? I have to talk to you about something important.”
“Can’t it wait until later? We’re just starting a hand of poker.”
“No, Brian, it can’t. Please go inside.” She was surprised at how calm her voice was. He sighed. She could hear the scraping of a chair. “Be right back, guys,” he said away from the phone. There was a long pause. “Okay, I’m in the living room. What’s so important?”
She took a deep breath. “Brian, I don’t know if this is working anymore.” She waited for a second. Silence on the other end. “I just think we might be growing apart.”
More silence. And then, “Are you breaking up with me?” He sounded incredulous.
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“No! I mean . . . maybe. I don’t know.” She could hear him breathing.
“What’s going on with you? You’re acting like a totally different person.”
“I—” The words were on her lips to deny it but she checked herself. “I know.” More silence. She got the impression that wasn’t the response he was expecting. A voice in the background yelled, “Come on, Kilburn!”
“Do you have to go?” Maddy asked, since he still wasn’t saying anything.
“Yeah.”
She waited, but after a minute, she realized that there wasn’t going to be any more. She didn’t know if he was mad or surprised or sad. Apparently, he wasn’t going to tell her. “Okay. Maybe I’ll see you—”
Click.
He hung up. Maddy stared at the phone in shock. Then she put it down on the bed and shrugged to herself. She guessed she had her answer to what he was feeling, and it was neither surprise nor sadness. She rolled over and switched off the light. The soft darkness surrounded her. She tried to evaluate her feelings. Why wasn’t she more upset? Brian had been her boyfriend for over a year. She felt kind of weird that she wasn’t devastated. Then it dawned on her. She had already gone through all the sadness that comes with breaking up—
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conversation with Brian had made it official, but in her mind the deed had been done for days. And it felt right. Exhaustion overwhelmed her as she drew the sheet up under her chin. She listened to the porch cricket’s nightly song and let slumber overtake her.
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Chapter Twenty-two
!
Bright sun streamed onto Maddy’s face. She closed her eyes against the glare and rolled over, stuffing her head into the pillow. “Arrrgg,” she groaned. Yesterday’s drama had left her with a headache worse than a hangover. Why had she rejected David? She had really screwed up this time. You totally blew your chance with an awesome guy, her helpful inner voice informed her. Nice work ruining what’s left of your summer.