She had expected fierce resistance, not this quiet resignation. Perhaps he didn't love her as much as he'd claimed. Despair coursed through Aurora at the thought.
"You will forget me in time, Nicholas," she said, aching. "You will find someone who can be the wife you want."
"You think so?"
He lunged to his feet suddenly, no longer resigned. Covering the short distance between them, he reached for her, his hands closing on her shoulders. His velvet grasp was inescapable as he held her in a soft, dangerous embrace. "You think I could ever forget you, sweetheart? That I could forget what we shared?"
"It was just passion…"
"No. It was far more." His eyes blazed. "I love you, Aurora. Understand that. Taste it, breathe it…"
Without warning his mouth came down on hers. His kiss was fierce, demanding, harsh, as if to punish her. She was struggling for breath before he finally ended it.
When he drew back, the dark hunger in his eyes held a power and starkness that both frightened and compelled her.
She read the intent there, even before he swung her into his arms and carried her to the bed, letting her down none too gently.
Aurora tried to sit up but found herself pinned by his strong body. "Nicholas… we can't do this."
"We can." His whisper was wild and low. "You need to remember what you are giving up."
Flattening his hand alongside her head, he held himself above her, staring down. His eyes were ablaze with angry fire, consuming fire. The gentleness she knew in him was gone.
"Can your precious Geoffrey make you feel what I do?" he demanded. Deliberately he reached beneath her skirts and swept his palm along her bare thigh. "Can he set your blood on fire with just a touch? Can he make your nipples tighten, your skin flush? Can he make you grow wet… like this…?"
He found the center of her desire, hot and throbbing.
When he slid his finger into her, she gasped, straining against him.
It was all the invitation Nicholas needed. His eyes were fierce, naked in intent, as he fumbled with the buttons of his breeches.
"Nicholas…"
He kissed her again, to silence her protest. He had to make her feel the desire raking through his body, his fierce need.
He couldn't have anticipated the explosion of passion he unleashed from her. She gripped his head, her hands clutching his hair as she tried to draw his mouth closer, his tongue deeper.
When she frantically welcomed his devouring kiss, he shoved her skirts to her waist and moved over her. He could feel the pulse of fire lash through her as he sank into her, hard, deep, claiming her in a savage stroke of hunger.
It was like sliding into fire. She arched wildly beneath him and moaned into his mouth, a panicky, anguished sound of need. A sound that would haunt him forever.
Shuddering, he drove into her, feverish with intensity. She came almost at once, convulsing in his arms with a wild cry. Aurora sobbed his name as with one last strong plunge the peak burst on him, helplessly, savagely.
In the heated aftermath, the tortured sounds of their breathing filled the quiet room. Nicholas lay buried inside her, wondering if she could feel the desperation pulsing in hot waves through his body. He pressed his face into her shoulder, fighting the wildness inside him, the violent yearning.
Finally he lifted his head. "Don't do this, Aurora," he whispered, his voice raw and cracked.
Stirring, she opened her eyes to gaze back at him in agony. "I… have no choice."
He could see the torment in her eyes. She truly believed she was making the right decision. And perhaps she was.
He looked at her, aching and empty. He had lost.
Nicholas closed his eyes on the anguish and helplessness inside him. A man couldn't force love. He couldn't command a heart's surrender by sheer force of will.
Not trusting himself to speak, he rose from the bed and adjusted his clothing.
Grieving, Aurora remained totally still. Nicholas's vulnerability was infinitely more powerful than his anger. There was such bleakness in his face, she wanted to weep.
She sat up slowly, drawing her skirts down over her naked limbs. She was trembling.
"Nicholas… I am sorry," she whispered.
His dark eyes met hers. "I know."
Reaching for her, he cupped her face in his palms. He stood looking down at her for a long moment before slowly bending. When his lips brushed hers, heartbreakingly gentle, anguish clawed inside her.
Then he stepped back and drew a shuddering breath, as if fighting for control. His voice had no inflection when he spoke. "I intend to sail with the tide tomorrow night. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."
He turned and went to the window. A moment later, the shadows covered him and there was silence.
Aurora pressed her knuckles to her mouth and bit down hard. The pain was so raw, she felt as if a knife had sliced through her heart.
He was truly gone. She had sent him away.
Aurora covered her face with her hands and wept.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It is true that passion of the flesh can beget passion of the heart. I am living proof.
Aurora stared blindly at Lady March's supper invitation. The countess begged Aurora to attend their private family gathering that evening, although it would entail bending the strict rules of mourning. She would be performing an act of Christian mercy, Lady March wrote, to help ease Geoffrey's reentry into society.
It would also permit them to show their support for Aurora during this trying period in her life, until her sham of a marriage was dissolved. Apparently the countess still wanted Aurora as her daughter.
Numbly Aurora set down the invitation and glanced at the ormolu clock on the mantel. Seven o'clock. The engagement was for eight. She should bestir herself to dress, and yet she didn't know if she could bear to see Geoffrey and his mother this evening. If she could find the willpower to feign a cheerful facade when her heart was breaking. In a few hours Nicholas would set sail without her.
A fresh wave of bleakness washed over her, leaving her cold, empty.
Despairing, she picked up the journal and turned to a well-worn page – the death of Desiree's prince.
My tears fall on your pale face as the lifeblood drains from your once powerful body. In desperation, I kiss your waxen lips, willing you to live. But my efforts are futile. Hopeless.
You open your eyes, your dark gaze so full of pain and tenderness. No tears, you whisper hoarsely. Your tears are torment.
But what of my torment? My heart is ripping from my chest. Dear God, I cannot bear it.
Your trembling hand, so weak now, rises to caress my face. Be free, my beautiful Desiree.
With your last breath, you give me the freedom I yearned for. But merciful heaven, that price is far, far too dear…
Aurora swallowed the burning ache of her own tears. Desiree had realized too late that freedom was nothing compared to love -
A quiet rap on her bedchamber door interrupted her dark thoughts.
"Miss Kendrick has called again," Danby informed her through the door.
"Please tell her I am indisposed," Aurora responded, closing the journal. She could not face Raven just now.
A few moments later, the knock was repeated, only this time much louder.
"Aurora?" Raven called out urgently. "I must speak with you."
With a resigned sigh, Aurora bid entrance. It would take more stamina than she possessed just now to fight Raven's determined assault.
Entering the bedchamber, the younger woman shut the door behind her and stood for a moment. Aurora was sitting before the empty hearth, feeling as cold as a winter's day, even though the July evening was quite pleasant.