Now she looked at her father and saw the resemblance with her grandfather. Her father looked rugged and put on a tough facade, but he was actually fragile since Jeanie had disappeared. She’d caught him crying more than once and knew he prowled the Internet for any clues about her missing sister. Lauren realized her mother was almost the opposite. She looked frail emotionally, but she had proved to be tough. She’d asked her father to move out because of his obsession with his job and Jeanie. Lauren knew she wasn’t supposed to know any of that, but it was hard to keep secrets in a house. She didn’t think her father was hurting the family, but she wasn’t in her mother’s shoes. Marriage was complicated and she wasn’t sure it was something she wanted to try. Not based on what two decent people like her parents had gone through.
She leaned in close to her father and said, “Why don’t you go sit down near Mom?”
Her father turned and looked at her, a small smile spreading across his face. “I wish she wanted me to, but I like sitting here with you.”
“Will you ever be sitting next to her again?”
“I hope so.”
“Me too.”
Lauren decided to relax and enjoy the time she had with her family. She’d have plenty of time to worry about things later. She always did. This was a special day, she could feel it.
But she still missed Jeanie.
John Stallings felt a deep sense of satisfaction sitting at the table with most of his family. The tension he felt with Maria didn’t interfere with his enjoyment of having his mother, father, and both of his kids devour a gigantic vegetable pizza. He paid special attention to his father since his latest episode. He noticed the old man drank glass after glass of water and seemed to be tuned in at the moment, keeping everyone straight in his mind.
He also appreciated the broad smile on his mother’s face. She had raised him and his sister, Helen, almost as a single mother but didn’t get the credit. Between his long hours in the Navy yard at Mayport and his long nights drinking with his buddies, Stallings’s father had not been the ideal husband. But at this moment his mother didn’t seem to hold any grudges and neither would he.
James Stallings set down his tall glass of water and made some joke that caused Charlie to snort with laughter. Lauren started to cackle as well. She said, “I guess Dad didn’t inherit a sense of humor from you.”
The whole table erupted at that comment. Stallings’s father pounded the tabletop and said, “Your voice is very similar to Jeanie’s.”
That brought an immediate dead silence to their end of the restaurant.
Stallings said, “How do you know what she sounded like?”
“I remember. Even if she only visited me the two times.”
“I never brought her to see you. You and I didn’t speak during her entire life with us.”
“She came on her own. Two different times, about a week apart. Must’ve been a little over two years ago.”
Now everyone was staring at the elder Stallings. The old man seemed confused by the attention. Then he said, “The first time she came she was Jeanie, the second time she came as Kelly.”
“Who?”
“Kelly.”
“Who’s Kelly?”
The old man looked from Stallings to the kids and now seemed confused. “I don’t know anyone named Kelly. Why, is she supposed to meet us?”
Stallings didn’t know what to do. His instinct was to grill the old man, but he didn’t want to do it in front of the kids. But somewhere inside of him, he had the sense that his father was not confused or making up the story. Had he, in fact, had contact with Jeanie? Finally Stallings said, “Why haven’t you ever said anything about seeing Jeanie?”
The old man hesitated and scratched the short gray bristle on the top of his head “She promised to come back and visit me if I didn’t say anything. She was scared and so was I. The whole thing slipped my mind. That happens to me sometimes. I forget a lot of things. You may not notice it yet, but I get confused easily.”
Stallings’s mother patted his father on the back and gave him a hug from behind. Lauren reached across the table and grasped his hand.
Then James Stallings wept silently.
Patty Levine didn’t think of her quiet Sunday afternoon as sulking; she considered it recharging. But as she sprawled on her couch, watching an old, sappy Meg Ryan movie, she had to admit it felt like sulking. The more accurate word might be depressed. She couldn’t point to anything in her life that would depress her except the total failure she had suffered kicking her prescription-drug habit.
The sergeant had made it clear she wanted a rested crew ready to kick ass on Monday morning, so Patty was confident she wouldn’t be called out today. That was how she justified swallowing a Xanax earlier and now used a couple of painkillers to ease the throbbing in her lower back. She felt some guilt about the painkillers because she’d thought she’d gotten past them and could make it without the subtle fog the long, light blue pills put her in.
The long hours of the afternoon gave Patty a chance to contemplate her entire life. She wondered if she was like an alcoholic who, after an absence of drinking, started right back where she was when she had stopped.
Despite the guilt about using again, she considered the advantages of using a prescription antidepressant to pull her out of her funk. Maybe she needed someone to talk to. Despite her feelings about John Stallings or even Tony Mazzetti, she didn’t want to put them in an awkward position of knowing she had a problem and not telling a supervisor. If something happened and it was discovered that they had known she had a problem, they could face discipline as well.
No, she’d been too good at keeping her issues private for too long. There was no reason to yak about them now. Her issues would be hard for a man to understand. They might treat her like one of the boys, but she wasn’t. Some cops just looked at her like a cute chick who had lucked into a job or slept her way into the detective bureau. That was another reason why she didn’t really want to go public with her relationship with Tony.
She’d continue to keep it quiet a while longer. She had to.
TWENTY-NINE
John Stallings intended to attack the day. He’d appreciated the rare Sunday afternoon with his family. His father’s odd comment about Jeanie haunted him. That’s why he was glad he was taking the old man to the doctor this afternoon.
This morning was about work. It was about finding the asshole who’d killed the girl found in the shallow grave at Pine Forest Park. He was learning all he could about what might happen to a runaway in Jacksonville who just disappeared one day. He couldn’t stop thinking about the girl found buried in the park. He wanted the man responsible. It burned in him like the start of an ulcer. Which Stallings realized really could be the source of the feeling.
Tony Mazzetti was welcome to make a case, to talk to the media, and to advance his career, but Stallings was going to catch the killer. He didn’t care who took the credit. He just wanted this creep.
He couldn’t help but consider Jeanie when he thought about Leah Tischler. Stop at the wrong bus stop, at the wrong time, and God only knew what could happen. A life could be gone like a wisp of smoke. He knew from experience that some of the killers who roamed the streets felt about as much from taking a life as they did from blowing out a candle. He hated trying to think like them, but sometimes it was the only way to catch them. That’s all Stallings wanted to do: stop assholes like the one who had killed the girl found at the park and the nursing student at the bus stop.