With the exception of the Padauers’ doddering child, who’d sustained second-degree burns from the fountain of sludge, and Mrs. Gruber, who broke a hip after falling through the firemen’s net — other than them and the gentiles crushed at the boxing arena and the blacksmith Tarnopol, rumored to have been swallowed by quicksand at the bayou — all of North Main Street and its immediate environs looked to be present and accounted for. Miraculously there were no other casualties to report. Of course a few citizens had superficial injuries that needed attending to, but Doc Seligman and the starchy Miss Reudelhuber, his acting nurse, were sufficient to the task. (A Red Cross chapter would later arrive on the scene to find nothing to do.) Everyone was chatty and ebullient, which may have been merely a symptom of shock, though they seemed to have swapped their earlier dread for the hum of collective unconstraint. One and all behaved like passengers washed up on an island after a shipwreck, stunned but thankful to be still among the living.
Sam Alabaster’s doting wife surrounded him with cushions like a pasha and elevated his gouty leg on an ottoman, while he assured her, “In heaven you will be my footstool.” Their kids, having sprinted up and down a wavy patch of turf until they were seasick, upchucked in concert over the edge of the crevasse. Mrs. Alabaster shepherded them away from the precipice, only to find her husband risen from his bivouac and hobbling forward in his dressing gown to peer into the pit as well. As his wife drew him back from the brink, he was replaced by Mr. Bluestein, who’d toddled up in his nightshirt holding a candle like a ghetto Diogenes. He squinted down the long shaft of the inverted oak, which disappeared in darkness, and remarked to the Widow Teitelbaum standing next to him, “Maybe is now rightside-up, the tree, and it’s we are heads over heels.” It was an uncharacteristic remark from such a sober-minded man, but the widow, embracing her rescued gramophone, nevertheless nodded reflectively in accord. So did Nutty Iskowitz and his property, the palooka Eddie Kid Wolf, saved by the catastrophe from having been KO’d by Sailor Merkle once again. He was still wearing his shot-silk trunks and flowing robe, whose hem some prankish kids carried like a train. Mr. Sebranig had also advanced to the lip of the chasm, where he toyed with his fleshly wife, the two of them executing a light-footed foxtrot toward and away from the magnetic hole. They were accompanied by the bleating of the deaf-aid shofar from the Hasidic camp. Tired of blowing it, Rabbi ben Yahya had ceded the task to a follower. The shofar was dolefully complemented by the strings of Asbestos’s fiddle, though the fiddler himself was nowhere to be seen.
Following his bittersweet parting from Jenny, Muni located his aunt and uncle, who were also among those standing at the rim of the abyss. After a warm reunion, at least on the part of his uncle — his aunt Katie only listlessly participating — Pinchas wasted no time in informing his nephew that, appearances aside, this was not a natural disaster.
“They did it,” he declared, pointing in the direction of the clustered Hasids. “The knucklehead Shpinkers, they finally did it.”
“Did what, Uncle?”
“They engineered from heaven and earth the nuptials.”
“Nupshuls?” Muni understood the word if not its context. How did that old Talmudic adage go? “The world is a wedding.” Funny that the word wedding should have had so little resonance for him till now.
“From heaven and earth,” repeated Pinchas, lifting and inclining his chin toward each destination. “Or if not heaven, then sitra achra, what they call the Other Side. Now we got with the aftermath to contend.” But although he didn’t sound thrilled by this monumental turn of events, neither did Pinchas, for all his disquiet, seem unduly alarmed. While for his part Muni was relieved to hear that his responsibility for what had happened was shared by others.
It was already getting on toward morning, and the North Main Streeters, wilting from a surfeit of excitement, had settled down on their respective plots of ground to catch some winks. The sky was already beginning to brighten from indigo to salmon-pink, like the interior of an abalone shell, but the park was still relatively cool. People were strewn about on pallets as if they’d been haphazardly deposited there by the recent upheaval, though the prevailing attitude remained that of survivors rather than victims. Having shrugged his suspenders from his shoulders, Muni too lay back in the soft grass. He cradled his head in his intertwined fingers, giving ear to the earth’s increasingly infrequent eructations, like belches after a hearty meal. Like his neighbors Muni felt a certain satisfaction at having endured such a major tumult, though for him the experience had broader implications than tonight’s big event. He realized that, during all his time in America, he’d neglected to celebrate the staggering fact that he was still alive: not even his ardor for Jenny had roused him to that.
Jenny. She was bedded down somewhere nearby, he assumed, and while the very idea of her stirred in his belly a maelstrom of emotions, he reminded himself that she was not an idea but a girl. He thought he could smell the lilac-and-kosher-dill scent of her on the breeze, which lulled him; the park had become an inviolable zone of tranquility. Then even as he entertained the notion that he must have been spared for a reason, Muni imagined how Jenny would tease him for the thought. “Where’d you get such a big head?” he wondered, chuckling aloud as he tucked himself comfortably under a patchwork of dreams.
He awoke minutes (or was it hours?) later to muggy sunshine, refreshed but somewhat disconcerted upon finding that his pocket watch had stopped. It was a recent purchase, a coin-silver hunting watch that Novak the pawnbroker claimed had a sixteen-jewel movement and would last till Messiah arrived. Muni had thought it might last until he could afford a better one. Then he observed that the walleyed Mr. Shapiro, ensconced on a crazy quilt a few yards away, was looking befuddled as he presented the open face of his watch to his equally puzzled wife. And Sam Alabaster was shaking the gunmetal case of his own moon calendar watch as if time could be bullied back into motion.
“Maybe they don’t remember to wind them up,” ventured Pinchas from his dew-drenched blanket; and winding the stem of his turnip with a show of confidence, he then began thumping it with his knuckles when the hands refused to move. Comparing watches, nephew and uncle noted that both had stopped at 7:36, which was approximately the time the temblors had begun the night before.
All about them the North Main Streeters were rising from their improvised bedding to greet the new day. They swiveled their heads like periscopes as if to get their bearings, orienting themselves by the compass points of familiar faces. Over there, as lean as the lamppost beneath which he swayed, was the pious bootlegger Lazar der Royte at his morning prayers. The pursy Mrs. Padauer shared a park bench with her weak-chinned husband in his felt crusher hat; sandwiched between them was their aged tyke, knee pants bulging from the diaper-thick bandages that swaddled his scalded tush. There was the merchant Pinchas Pin and his vinegary wife, and a headless figure molded from clay, with stumps in place of arms and legs, that came trundling precipitously along the gravel path. It tumbled over railings and flailed in its attempt to pick itself up, only to plunge thereafter, to the delight of all who saw, straight into a bench or shrub.