“And I asked him to smile and he wouldn’t do it, and then he acted all confused, like he was coming out of a fever. Plus I can just tell, after spending every damn day with him.”
“It might’ve been the boon,” Marjani said. “But that sort of magic always builds upon latent desires–”
“Don’t try to make me feel better!”
“I’m not.” Her hand dropped off my knee. I thought about the way he held me close as he kissed me. All that manticore trickery. “I knew someone back in Jokja who studied magic. She explained how those kind of spells work, and she said you can’t make anything happen if it’s not there to start with it.”
I’d heard that too, but this was manticore magic, and it was probably different.
Marjani and I sat in silence for a few moments longer, and then she said, “Was he at least any good?”
I looked up at her. Then I burst into laughter, relieved that she was here, that I could talk to her about this.
“Why would you ask me that?” I asked, still laughing.
“I’m just curious.” She grinned. “A Jadorr’a… I always thought they sublimated their desires. You know. Abstinence so that their magic can work. Closeness to death and all that.”
“He had desires,” I said carefully. “And his magic still works.”
She laughed, her voice breaking against the wind.
“And we didn’t… didn’t do everything,” I finally said. “I figured out what happened before… before we could…”
At that, Marjani stopped laughing. She made this sympathetic clucking sound and stuck her arm around my shoulder, pulled me in close for a hug.
“I mean I’ve done it before. But it was never a big deal. It was always just… weird. And with Naji I thought… thought it might be special.”
“Oh, sweetness.”
“The others were just… boys I met. You know. And I was kind of hoping that I’d get to see what the big deal was.”
“The big deal?”
“You know.” I didn’t know how to put it into words. “How it’s supposed to feel really good, and you just… fall away…”
“Oh, that.” Marjani laughed again. “You know you don’t need Naji for that. Or anyone.”
I frowned.
“Did you really never… Alright, listen.” And then she leaned close to me and told me about my body, stuff nobody’d never told me before, like I was supposed to just know. I felt like some stupid little kid, listening to her, my eyes getting big and wide, but she didn’t sound like she thought any less of me for not knowing.
“That’s what I mean,” she said when she had finished. “I know you think you’re in love with him–”
“I don’t just think!” I said. “The curse–”
“Oh, never mind the curse. You can’t let that dictate your life.” She paused. “You don’t need Naji to give you pleasure, and you don’t need Naji to make you happy.”
Right now, it didn’t feel like that, but I knew better than to say something to her.
“You killed the son of Captain Hariri,” Marjani said, “one of the richest pirates in the Confederation, before he could kill you. You helped win a sea battle against the Hariri clan. You struck a deal with a manticore and lived. Why do you care what Naji thinks of you?”
I didn’t have an answer to that.
She stood up and dusted the sand off her robes. “When we set sail for Jokja tomorrow, I don’t want to see a single misty-eyed glance his way, do you understand? You have a ship to navigate and a crew to help command, and I have neither the patience nor the inclination to put up with a heartsick child.”
“I ain’t a child.”
“Then act like it.” She held out one hand and I took it and she pulled me to my feet. “Do you want me to command it? Cause I will, if that’ll get you to stop mooning over him.”
That got a grin out of me. “No, Captain.”
“Captain.” She laughed. “We’ll see how long they call me that.” She put her hand on my back. “Come on,” she said. “I’ll walk you inside.”
I let her. And for a minute, forgetting Naji didn’t seem totally impossible no more.
CHAPTER TEN
The manticore came to see me before we set sail the next day. I was up on the boat, screwing around with the rigging cause half the crew was too hungover to be of much use. One of the manticore’s servants crept across the deck, and I damn near tossed a pile of ropes on her.
“Mistress,” she whispered, keeping her eyes downcast. “Ongraygeeomryn would like to speak with you.”
I’d kinda been hoping I wouldn’t have to see the manticore before we left, cause I was still sore on account of what happened with Naji, even though I was trying real hard not to moon over him.
But I figured this was my chance to prove that I was strong and that I didn’t need him, the way I’d proved it last night, underneath the thin rough blankets of my bed.
“Tell her she can come talk to me when she’s ready,” I said.
The servant trembled. “Mistress,” she said. “The manticore doesn’t wish to come aboard…”
“Oh, hell.” Figures. “She on the beach, at least?”
“Yes, mistress.” The servant pointed a trembling finger off to the side. “My rowboat is in the water. She doesn’t wish to be kept waiting–”
“Of course she doesn’t.”
I rowed me and the servant back in to the beach, and sure enough, the manticore was stretched out on a quilted silk blanket on the sand, another servant standing beside her with a palm leaf.
“Girl-human!” she cried. “Did you enjoy your boon last night?”
“You mean Naji?”
“Of course! Such an easy one to enchant. Almost no convincing necessary at all.” She looked closer at me. “You did want him still, yes? He is your true love.”
Never mind the curse, I thought. But I didn’t say nothing. The manticore looked so damned pleased with herself.
“He was very…” I glanced off in the direction of the palace, hoping he wouldn’t show up while I was talking. “Skillful.”
The manticore looked puzzled for a moment. “Is that a good thing?”
“Uh, yeah.”
She beamed at me. “That is excellent news! We do not describe our matings as skillful; I shall remember that.”
Part of me wanted to ask her how she did it, if it really had been the ahiial, or some other manticore spell, maybe drawn out of the red desert sand. The sandcharmers in Lisirra could do that; I remembered from my trips to the night market. But what would be the point? It had happened, and not cause he wanted it.
Something else was bothering me, though.
“So he isn’t… he isn’t gonna keep bugging me after this?” I asked. “I’ve heard about love spells, and they always… persist, if you know what I mean.”
“Persist?” The manticore frowned. “No, girl-human. Love does not persist! It is allotted to us once a life-cycle.”
Oh. Like cats.
“The boon was only for one love-period,” the manticore said. Her eyes dimmed. “I could ask my father to recast it in perpetuity–”
“No!” I held out my hands. “No, it’s fine. Once was… once was enough.”
“Spoken like a manticore!” She smiled big and bright at me. “I knew you were of a superior mind to the servants.”
“I’m gonna miss you, Ongraygeeomryn,” I said, stumbling over the last syllable.
And even with the boon, I still meant it.
“When the Jadorr’a is free of his curse, you are always welcome to return him to us. Remember, it would do him a great honor.”
I just looked at her, although I thought about how easy it would be to cart him back here.
Easy, but not fair and wrong to boot. Dishonorable. Even if he had soul-hurt me a million and one ways.
No. I promised Marjani I wasn’t gonna moon over him.
So I threw my arms around the manticore’s neck and gave her a big hug. She nuzzled me back, her mane tickling my nose.