“Well, that’s good,” said Wendy, his editor. “We want you thinking about the new book, not this ridiculousness.”
“But we’ve been talking about it,” said Matilda. “Wendy and I have, and the team, and we thought it might be time to bring in Mr. Guarise—”
“Alessandro,” said the attorney. “Please.”
“To go through it with us. See if there are any steps we should be taking.”
Alessandro was handing around a spreadsheet, and Jake, to his utter horror, saw that it was a very comprehensive display of TalentedTom’s online activities thus far: every tweet and Facebook post neatly dated and appallingly reproduced, displayed in order of their appearance.
“What am I looking at?” said Matilda, staring at the page.
“I had one of my paralegals do a bit of digging on this guy. He’s been active, at least in a small way, since November.”
“Were you aware of any of this?” Wendy asked.
Jake felt a wave of illness. He was, it was clear, about to tell his first outright untruth of the meeting. It was unavoidable and it was necessary, but it was also excruciating.
“No idea.”
“Well, that’s just as well.”
The assistant stuck her head into the room and asked if anyone needed anything. Matilda asked for a water. Jake didn’t think he could get even that down his throat without spilling it everywhere.
“So listen,” said Wendy. “And I know you’ll forgive me for asking this, but it’s kind of a baseline thing and we just need to hear you say it. As far as this bullshit goes, and I understand that what he’s actually saying is completely vague and nonspecific, but do you have any idea what this joker’s talking about?”
Jake looked around at them. His mouth had gone about as dry as sandpaper. He wished he’d asked for the water.
“Uh, no. I mean, like you said, it’s … what, I’m a thief? Of what?”
“Well, exactly,” said Matilda.
“He does use the word ‘plagiarist’ in some posts,” said Alessandro helpfully.
“Yeah, love that,” Jake said bitterly.
“But Crib isn’t plagiarized,” Matilda said.
“No!” Jake nearly shouted. “I wrote every word of Crib myself. On a dying laptop in Cobleskill, New York. Winter, spring, and summer of 2016.”
“Good. And not that it will ever come to this, but I assume you have drafts, notes, and the like?”
“I do,” said Jake, but he was shaking as he said it.
“I’m struck by the fact that he refers to himself as ‘TalentedTom,’” said Wendy. “Should we infer he’s a writer himself?”
“A talented one,” said Matilda, with extravagant sarcasm.
“When I read that,” said the publicist, whose name was Roland, “I just automatically thought, you know: Ripley.”
Jake, caught unawares, felt the heat rush to his face. The attorney said: “Who’s that?”
“Tom Ripley. The Talented Mr. Ripley. You know that book?”
“I saw the movie,” Alessandro said, and Jake, slowly, let out a breath. Apparently no one in the room seemed to associate “Ripley” with a third-rate MFA program where he’d taught for a couple of years.
“I think it’s kind of creepy, actually,” Roland went on. “Like, even as he’s calling you a plagiarist he’s saying: I’m capable of a lot worse than that.”
“Well, but it’s only sometimes he says plagiarist,” Wendy said. “The other times it’s just the story he accuses you of stealing. ‘The story doesn’t belong to you.’ What does that even mean?”
“People don’t realize you can’t copyright a plot,” Alessandro said finally. “You can’t even copyright a title, and that would be a lot easier to make an argument about.”
“If you could copyright a plot there wouldn’t be any novels at all,” said Wendy. “Imagine just one person owning the rights to Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl. Or Hero raised in obscurity discovers he’s incredibly important to an epic struggle for power. I mean, it’s absurd!”
“Well, this, to be fair, is a very distinctive plot. I think you said yourself, Wendy, that you’d never come across this before, not only in submissions but in your own experience as a reader.”
Wendy nodded. “That’s true.”
“What about you, Jake?”
Another dizzying breath, another lie.
“No. Never came across it in anything I’ve read.”
“And I think you’d remember!” Matilda said. “If a manuscript with this plot had come into my office at any time I’d have responded the way I did when Jake sent us his manuscript. But even if I weren’t the agent this writer chose to send it to, any agent would have been excited about a book with this plot. Eventually, I’d have heard about it just like the rest of us, which can only mean no such book exists.”
“Maybe unwritten,” Jake heard himself say.
The others looked at him.
“What do you mean?” Alessandro said.
“Well, I suppose it’s possible some writer had the same idea for a novel, but never actually wrote it.”
“Cry me a river!” Matilda threw up her hands. “We’re going to give credit to everyone out there who has an idea for a novel and just hasn’t gotten around to writing it down? Do you know how many people come up to me and say they have a great plot for a novel?”
“I might,” Wendy said, sighing.
“And you know what I say to them? I say, ‘Fantastic! Once you’ve written it, send it to my office.’ And guess how many of them ever have?”
I’m going with zero, Jake thought.
“Not one! In almost twenty years as an agent! So let’s say there’s somebody out there who came up with the same plot. Just say! Only he didn’t get around to actually writing his own damn novel and now he’s annoyed because another person, a real writer, did! And probably a lot better than he ever could have. So, tough. Next time maybe do the work.”
“Matilda.” Wendy sighed again. (Despite their current frustration, the two were old friends.) “I completely agree. That’s why we’re here, to protect Jake.”
“But, we can’t stop people from saying crap on the internet,” Jake said bravely. “There wouldn’t be an internet if we did. Shouldn’t we just ignore it?”
The lawyer shrugged. “We’ve ignored it so far, and the dude doesn’t seem to be stopping. Maybe not ignoring it will work better.”
“Well, what would not ignoring it look like?” Jake said. It came out sounding a little harsh, as if he was angry. Well of course he was angry! “I mean, we don’t want to poke the bear, right?”
“If it is a bear. Frankly, a lot of the time, these guys are more of a deer in the headlights than a bear. You shine a bit of a light on them and they run away. Some underachiever might have keyboard courage but if he states or implies a provably false statement of fact, not just an opinion, that’s defamation. They don’t want to get their names published, and they definitely don’t want to be sued. We don’t hear from them again.”
Jake experienced a faint pulse of hope.
“How would you do it?”
“We’d write something official-sounding in the comments. Defamation, invasion of privacy, portrayal in a false light—all viable bases for a lawsuit. At the same time we contact the host websites and the ISPs and ask them to remove the postings voluntarily.”
“And they’ll do that?” Jake said eagerly.
Alessandro shook his head. “Usually they don’t, no. The Communications Decency Act of 1996 says they can’t be held liable for defamation made by third parties. They’re considered a vector for other people’s free speech, technically, so they’re in the clear. But they all have content standards and none of them want to go broke standing up for some anonymous loser who probably isn’t paying a dime for their services, so sometimes we get lucky and it stops there. We like to get the host on our side if we can, because we’ll still want to clean up the metadata, even if we get the posts taken down. Right now if you Google ‘Jacob Finch Bonner’ plus the word ‘thief,’ this comes right up at the top of the results. If you Google Jake’s name and ‘plagiarism,’ same thing. Search engine optimization techniques can mitigate some of that, but it’s much easier if we have the host helping out.”