I looked into his eyes and held my breath.
“It’d make me happy right now I don’t have to sleep on that couch,” he said quietly.
I knew what he was saying.
It was too fast. Way too fast.
But after dinner that night, I didn’t care.
“So don’t,” I said quietly back. Though my voice may have been quiet, my heart was racing.
His eyes got soft, his face got closer, then his mouth was on mine. I only got a tongue sweep, but it was a tasty tongue sweep I liked a whole lot, before he pulled away.
Benny, not wasting an opportunity or time, shifted to slide under the covers. Then he shoved an arm under me and shifted me to cuddle into his side.
I slid my arm along his flat belly.
“Your checkup tomorrow is at ten,” he reminded me.
“Yeah,” I confirmed. I remembered.
“I’ll take you.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll also call Manny. After I bring you home, he and I’ll go get your Z so I can see to it.”
“All right.”
“Gotta get back in the kitchen, Frankie. You wanna call a friend to hang with you tomorrow night while I work?”
“That’ll be nice.”
He gave me a squeeze. “Right.”
After he finished squeezing me, his hand drifted up and into my hair. Then he started twirling a lock around his finger.
I don’t know why I did it, except that I wanted to do it and I didn’t get much of what I wanted, and a lot of what I wanted was right then stretched out beside me.
So I did it.
I turned my head and kissed his tee over his pec.
When I did, his fingers stopped playing with my hair and I felt his ab muscles get tight under my arm.
But when I settled my cheek back to his chest, his fingers started back up again and his body relaxed beside me.
“Nice night, honey. Thank you,” I told the TV.
“Yeah, baby.”
I gave him a squeeze and relaxed beside him, wondering if this was how it felt. If this was how it felt to get what you wanted for a lifetime. Have it stretched out beside you. The promise of it there all night so you’d wake up to it in the morning. The promise of it going to work the next day with you knowing it was coming back. A promise that would stay a promise—beautiful, forever there, beckoning, even as minute by minute it was being fulfilled, leaving you taking your last breath on earth knowing you lived a life filled with beauty.
If it was, it was weirdly serene.
You’d think something that magnificent would be about fireworks.
But if this was it, it wasn’t.
It was quiet, tranquil, comfortable.
Beauty.
Chapter Eight
You Grew Up
I felt arms tighten on me and the haze of sleep lifted, slightly.
When it did, I felt a whole lot more, and that whole lot more consisted of my body pressed snug against the hard frame of Benny’s, the warmth of our cocoon of covers, and the safety both created.
It was a strange feeling.
But I liked it.
I tilted my head back, opening my eyes, and I saw Benny.
Half asleep, my belly still did a dip.
“Hey,” he whispered, his voice deep, easy, and gruff, and right on the heels of the last one, my belly did another dip.
“Hey,” I replied.
“How you feelin’?” he asked.
Groggily, I did a mental scan and found that either Benny’s bed with his body in it was a miracle elixir, or the lateness with which I took the pill meant it hadn’t worn off yet, because I felt awesome.
“Good,” I answered.
“Good,” he murmured, and I tensed when he lifted his head and buried his face in my neck.
The tenseness lasted a millisecond before I felt his lips at my neck and my body melted into his, even as my hands slid from his chest, one pushing under his body, which he shifted to accommodate me so I could wrap both my arms around him.
“Gonna get up.” His voice rumbled against my skin.
“I’m gonna snooze,” I replied.
“Mm.” The soft noise he made rolled along my neck, causing a shiver to glide down my spine and my hands to move along the intriguing ridges and flats of his back.
His mouth glided up my neck and I felt his tongue touch the hinge of my jaw.
I closed my eyes and dipped my hands lower, going under his tee and shifting up so I could feel those ridges and flats, skin against skin.
That was better, by a whole lot. His skin was warm and soft, the ridges and flats fascinating.
When my touch came unhindered, one of Benny’s hands slid to my ass and cupped it.
I pressed my lips together to suppress my own “mm.”
Even so, his mouth came to my ear and he whispered, “Like your touch, baby, but like it too much. This’s gotta end now.”
I felt disappointment slide through me as his hand gave my ass a squeeze before it drifted up to the hollow of my back and he lifted his head away from my ear. I opened my eyes and his caught mine.
“Doctor gives the go-ahead, we’re all over that,” he told me quietly. “He doesn’t, we’ll wait. Findin’ the wait’s worth it, so know when we get there, it’ll still be worth it.”
Still sleepy and slightly turned on, my hands encountering Benny’s skin for the first time, I didn’t have it in me not to blurt out, “You’re even awesome in the morning.”
He grinned, his eyes warm, sexy, and full of promise when he said, “I’m awesome all the time, babe.”
At his arrogance, I kept all the goodness of the last three minutes but still narrowed my eyes at him.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah,” he answered, still grinning.
Before I could retort, he dipped his head, touched his mouth to mine, and pulled back.
“You snooze. I’m gonna hop in the shower. You’re not up, I’ll wake you when you gotta start getting ready.”
After delivering that, he gave me another mouth touch, let me go, and rolled out of bed.
But as he did all that, I thought there was no way I would be able to snooze with a naked Benny in the shower just a room away.
Still, I snuggled up under the covers. Cautiously curling my knees closer to my belly and still feeling no pain, I settled in, closed my eyes, and listened for the shower.
I felt a slow smile spread on my lips when it came.
The smile died when my mind moved to other thoughts.
I had not woken in a man’s arms in over seven years and the last man’s arms I woke in were Vinnie’s.
Vinnie, like Benny, was a cuddler, even in sleep. He liked contact. He showed affection whenever he could—awake, asleep, physically, verbally, even going so far as to let me know he was thinking of me when he was going about his day. I knew this when I’d come home to flowers. Or a little sweet nothing gift. Or even a card that had a hokey love message. Vinnie would write in the card, making fun of it, but we both knew he meant those words and that’s what made it sweet.
When he started to work for Sal, when he became whatever it was they were before they became a made man, those little gestures started dwindling. Not the physical affection. The verbal affection, the gifts, and the cards.
Apparently, a wise guy in training (and definitely those out of it) didn’t do sweet things for his woman. Apparently, a wise guy showed no weakness, even for his woman. Apparently, a wise guy considered doing thoughtful things for the woman he loved a weakness, when the woman he loved thought it was the opposite.
Knowing he had that in him, guessing why he took it away from me, the crack that had formed in our relationship when I tried to talk him out of approaching his father about franchising (and he didn’t listen)…