Indeed, where? It is often a puzzle. You can look for the same signs as in a project group. Look for the self-importance, the secret discussions, the poor organizational skills. Look for the solitary, over-confident, empty person. She is good at getting others to do things for her. She may be narcissistic and over-dressed. She always has an answer. If challenged, she attacks.
Mallory leaves more specific tell-tales, in the workplace:
❂ Mallory makes nothing of use to others. She makes no helpful documents, presentations, websites, manuals. If she does show off such materials, it is others' work.
❂ Mallory does not build projects. If she does get involved in a project, that tends to be a death sentence. She manipulates projects for her own benefit. She may sabotage a successful project to make someone look bad. Or, she may join a successful project, and then take credit for it.
❂ Mallory has no solid track record. Anyone who has worked with her before is loath to speak of their experience. They seem afraid of her in some silent traumatized way.
❂ Mallory may collect credentials, awards, and certificates. Her resume may be impressive. She will display these credentials like feathers. In reality they may be fake. People do not generally check.
❂ Mallory does not stay in one place for long. She cannot form good relationships with internal clients and suppliers. She comes in, creates havoc, and makes her dramatic exit.
❂ Mallory has nothing good to say of ex-colleagues. She does not converge in dress, language, or behavior with her colleagues. She only shows admiration and affection for more powerful people in the organization.
We all meet psychopaths at work. If you know how Mallory works, you can see this happen almost in real-time. If not, it can take years to realize "it was not normal."
You may want to try to fix things. It is unwise to accuse co-workers of being psychopaths. Only a trained professional can make a formal diagnosis. And even then, only with cooperation from the subject. Mallory is not going to walk with you into Human Resources and agree that she’s a problem.
If you confront a psychopath in the workplace, have your exit ready. You will not be staying long. Mallory knows exactly how to make people hate and fear you. She will with tears in her eyes accuse you of sex crimes, financial fraud, and worse. She will explain in clear detail why all the trouble is your doing.
What you can do instead is to collect violations of company policy or the law. You need documentation and proof. You need more than one case. You can then report these to your management, or HR. Since HR’s first job is to protect the firm from bad actors, they should be able to help. You should still be looking for other work.
Good companies have rules that catch bad actors. Such as, banning sexual relationships between managers and staff. Or, making it unethical to accept gifts from suppliers. Other companies are havens for bad actors. Learn the difference, and you can be more selective the next time you search for a new job.
The Family
Perhaps it is surprising, yet psychopaths have families and children, like anyone else. Mallory’s family has its own, unique structure and way of working. Details may change. Yet Mallory always has the same goals. His obvious goals are:
❂ To use the family as cover for his predatory secret lives. A married man with children looks more reliable and trustworthy than a single man. It reassures potential targets that he is not a threat.
❂ To have as many healthy children as he can. This is not unique to psychopaths. Yet it’s worth remembering: psychopathy is an evolved trait. That means it is part of a reproductive strategy.
❂ To push the costs of raising these children onto his spouse and other people. This leaves him as free as possible to pursue his own private goals.
❂ To keep his spouse captive and responsible for childcare at least. If possible, he will use his spouse and her family for income as well.
He has less obvious goals too. He needs to ensure his children grow up successful psychopaths. Or, grow up to seek psychopaths as partners. Either way, his psychopath genes stand more chance of being passed down the generations.
What this translates to are a set of behaviors. These appear to be fairly consistent across psychopath’s families. We know that Mallory is abusive and dominating. This is how he keeps his spouse in a long-term bond. Here are some less well-known traits of Mallory, the parent:
❂ Mallory neglects his children’s emotional needs. They exist to him as extensions of his identity, not separate individuals with needs. Yet he can focus such power on them they feel intense love.
❂ Mallory looks after himself, and no-one else. His spouse and children get random, fragmented attention. He spares no expense on his own clothes, and expects his family to wear cast downs.
❂ Mallory keeps his finances opaque. His spouse has no view into these, which would tell a lot about his secret lives. If he must pay bills, he is neglectful.
❂ Mallory often disappears on trips. It may be one night, or a month. If he announces his departure or return in advance, it is for his own reasons.
❂ Mallory will plan family vacations, yet always with a personal motive. Often such travel is cover for one or other hunting trip. On a true getaway, Mallory is aggressive and irritable.
❂ Mallory is the star of the family. He enjoys taking photos of himself, his travels, and his possessions. He always looks great in these photos, and he shares them with others whenever he can.
❂ Mallory has no creative hobbies. He does not tend a garden, nor cook, paint, sculpt, compose music, or write for pleasure. He prefers to travel, meet new people, and shop.
❂ Mallory may buy or steal art, and collect others' work. He may learn the language of art appreciation. He may display his "love of art" with monumental extravagance.
❂ Mallory disdains pets. If he does have a pet, he treats it as an accessory, and a way to meet new people. He then takes bad care of his pet, who is often sick.
❂ Mallory cannot create comfortable order. He cannot tell the emotional value of an object. So he treats old, new, broken, used, and loved objects the same. He is often a hoarder.
❂ Mallory is expert at getting his spouse and extended family to take over house work. He does this using a mix of incompetence, neglect, and feigned invalidity. This lasts well into old age.
❂ Mallory divides his children into the "golden child" and the "scapegoat." He rewards and trains the golden child to be like him. Crime pays, he says. He bullies the scapegoat.
❂ Mallory’s spouse becomes an "enabler" who justifies Mallory’s behavior to the children. She shields him from criticism. She takes part in the winner/loser division of the children.
❂ Mallory’s spouse goes into a slow downwards spiral. She becomes poor. Her physical and mental health suffers. She becomes cut off from family and friends. She has professional problems.
❂ Mallory’s spouse becomes depressed and hurts herself in various ways. She may abuse alcohol or drugs. She may become suicidal. Mallory will blame her for being "crazy" and play the long-suffering victim.
Mallory may have a job, or may not. It is harder for male psychopaths to avoid work. That looks strange to outsiders. Few people ask questions about a mother who does not work. If he can, though, he will spend years in higher education, never quite working. If he works, he will always aim for easy money and opportunities to hunt.
The relationship between Mallory and his spouse is the abusive bond I already explained. If you speak to someone in a relationship with a psychopath, they may admit it. Yet they will often not accept it, and not act on it. It is like telling a smoker that they are damaging their lungs. They will nod, and continue to puff.