“The Purifying Fire,” Gideon said.
“Impressive,” she admitted.
“Come.” He took her elbow and led her to the left edge of the landing.
“And still more stairs,” she grumbled. Roughly chiseled into the bedrock, these steps looked lumpy, primitive, and dangerously uneven. “Did you people carve these stairs with a spoon?”
“They’re old,” Gideon said mildly.
With a firm hand on her elbow, he helped her down the rough, ancient steps to the main floor of the cavern. As their bodies touched, she could feel his tension and realized he was anxious about what would happen here tonight.
Chandra was surprised to realize that she was not anxious.
Not any longer.
Tonight, she had already faced the thing she feared most. After all these years of running from it, after the sickening nightmares, the chills and sweats in the dark, the refusal to think about it, the evasions and denials… tonight she had faced the one thing in the Multiverse that she had long thought she could never face. She had stopped running at last from her ghosts, had turned around and accepted them. She had looked directly into the face of what she had done to her loved ones and admitted it-to herself, and to another.
She had confronted that, and it was something she had feared more than she feared the Purifying Fire.
If she could survive that rending of her soul tonight, then she could survive this. Whatever was going to happen inside the Purifying Fire, Chandra was ready for it.
When they reached the circle of white mages, priests, and Keepers standing around the silent flames with their eyes closed, Gideon came to a halt and waited respectfully for them to finish their… prayers? Meditation? Whatever.
Chandra saw no reason to emulate his courtesy. “Can we get on with it?” she said loudly. “It’s been a long day for me.”
Gideon closed his eyes and his lips twitched briefly. She couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or amused.
Walbert flinched, glared at Chandra over his shoulder… then relaxed and offered her a smile.
Samir was right. It was cold.
“By all means, Chandra,” the high priest of the Order of Heliud said. “I’ve waited a long time for this. Let’s not wait any longer.”
At a signal from Walbert, the circle of worshippers around the Purifying Fire shifted position, creating an opening for Chandra to walk through so that she could approach the dancing white flames. Then six of the men stepped forward, looking directly at her. Chandra saw that they were well armed.
Walbert said to her, “I would rather perform the ceremony in a way that lends itself to your dignity, as well as mine. But if necessary, I will have you forcibly thrown into the Fire.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gideon’s chest start rising and falling faster.
“No,” Chandra said. “It’s not necessary. I have no desire to lose my dignity as well as… whatever else I’m about to lose.”
Walbert smiled again. “I’m glad to hear that, Chandra. I don’t want this to be needlessly unpleasant. For any of us.”
“If you really want me to have a pleasant night,” she said, “then let me go. Now.”
Walbert’s smiled broadened as he shook his head. “Alas, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Oh, right,” Chandra said. “Destiny.”
“Yes,” he said seriously.
“Whatever.”
“Shall we begin?” Walbert said to her.
“All right.” Chandra took a step forward, then felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Wait,” Gideon said, his voice subdued.
She turned her head to meet his gaze. What she saw there almost weakened her resolve. She said suddenly, “Don’t stay.”
He frowned a little. “Chandra…”
“Please don’t stay to watch this,” she said urgently. “Please, Gideon. Go now.”
He came to a decision and nodded. His hand tightened briefly on her shoulder before he turned away. Chandra watched as he ascended the rough steps leading up to the landing, reclaimed the torch he had left perched in a sconce there, and disappeared into the tunnel that led back up to the palace.
Then Chandra turned back to Walbert. She saw that he was gazing at her with speculative interest, but ignored it and said only, “I’m ready now.”
Walbert nodded, and turned to the gathered mages, priests, and Keepers. “Let’s begin.”
Except for Walbert and Chandra, everyone present started chanting, and it sounded as if they had practiced well for this occasion. The chant was harmonious and their voices were clear and blended well. But as the sound echoed around the cavern and bounced off the walls and high ceiling, it was so loud that Chandra had to shout at Walbert to be heard.
“What now?” she asked.
Bizarrely, the old mage took Chandra by the shoulders and kissed her forehead. He did it so quickly, she didn’t even have time to flinch away from the touch of his thin, dry lips, which she could feel even through the magical barrier that covered her skin.
Walbert did not shout the reply. He merely said, mouthing the words clearly, “Walk into the Fire.”
“That’s it?”
She hadn’t shouted this question, and she was sure he couldn’t have heard her words over the head-spinning echo of all those chanting voices. But he obviously understood her meaning. He gave a firm nod and gestured for her to enter the bonfire.
Chandra turned toward the Purifying Fire and started walking forward. The chanting grew even louder, as if her approach to the pure white flames gave strength to the voices of those watching her. When she was close enough to touch the blaze, she started shivering, covered with a piercing chill. She wasn’t sure if this came only from the Purifying Fire, or if her own fear contributed to it.
She stretched out a hand and touched the Fire. The flames didn’t burn, of course. Not with heat, not even with cold. They were chilly to the touch, but bearable. And they curled delicately around her wrist and seemed to tug gently, as if encouraging her to enter the silent, shimmering flames and prove herself there.
As Chandra stepped into the Fire, she felt the coiled magical binding around her wrists liquefy and melt away. Then the sheath that had covered her skin peeled away, too, freeing her. She didn’t know if Walbert was releasing the spells, confident that the Purifying Fire would make her powerless now, or if the Fire itself was commencing its work of eliminating the magic that had entered its flames with her.
Chandra raised her arms and turned in a circle, whirling slowly inside the head-clearing chill of the white blaze, discovering the experience was not at all what she had expected. Rather than frightened, she felt empowered. Rather than defeated, she felt energized.
She tilted her head back, looking up through the translucent, undulating light embracing her and she surrendered-to her deeds, her past, her guilt, her sorrow. She felt the weight of the things she had done and the things she had failed to do. She accepted the burden… and then let it go. She abandoned her heavy load to the Fire, accepting whatever it might do with the regrets and the ghosts that she had brought with her into its purifying chill.
The blaze that surrounded her increased in its cold intensity, closing in on her, embracing and engulfing her. It grew denser and became opaque, blocking Walbert and the other mages from Chandra’s view. The Fire stroked along her flesh and seeped inside her body, exploring her inside and out, searching out her secrets, her guilt, the stains on her soul, discovering all that she might have tried to hide from its exploration-all that she had once tried to hide from herself.
The impact of this search was so forceful, Chandra couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t even fear. She couldn’t evade the intimate exploration of Purifying Fire, and she didn’t try. She spread herself upon the cool white arms of this merciless embrace and gave herself to it without reserve or inhibition.
And when the Fire rewarded her courage by accepting her, she knew. She felt it. The searching intensity of the blaze transformed into a tender flood of welcome. Its piercing chill became a soothing coolness.