‘Hiding behind the name,’ said Gerlof.
‘Yes, unfortunately,’ said Per, looking down at the grass. ‘I’d really like to talk to people who knew Jerry, people who worked with him and are still alive, but even the police can’t find anyone...’
Gerlof nodded thoughtfully. He remembered the magazine Jerry Morner had thrown on the table at the party, and said, ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
Per looked up. ‘What you can...?’
‘I shall do a little bit of research,’ said Gerlof. ‘What were those magazines called, the ones your father published?’
That same evening Gerlof rang John Hagman down in Borgholm. He chatted about this and that at first, as usual, but after a few minutes he got down to business.
‘John, you once mentioned that your son had a pile of magazines under his bed, and he took them with him when he moved down to Borgholm. You described them, they were a particular kind of magazine. Do you remember?’
‘I do,’ said John. ‘And he wasn’t the least bit ashamed. I tried to talk to him, but he said all the lads read them.’
‘Has Anders still got them?’
John sighed. He often sighed over his son. ‘I expect he has, somewhere or other.’
‘Do you think he might lend them to me?’
John remained silent for a few seconds. ‘I can only ask.’
After quarter of an hour or so, John rang back. ‘Yes, he’s still got a few... and he can get hold of some more if you want them.’
‘Where from?’
‘He knows some junk shop in Kalmar that sells old magazines, everything you can think of.’
‘Good,’ said Gerlof. ‘Tell him I’d be very grateful, if he doesn’t mind; I can pay for them. I’m trying to get hold of two particular magazines.’
‘Which ones?’
‘Babylon and Gomorrah.’
‘That Jerry Morner’s magazines?’
‘Exactly.’
John didn’t say anything for a little while.
‘I’ll have a word with Anders,’ he said. ‘But are you sure?’
‘Sure?’
‘Are you sure you want these magazines? I mean, I’ve seen some of the ones Anders had and they’re extremely... extremely revealing.’
Embarrassed and excited, thought Gerlof.
‘Yes, I imagine they are, John,’ he said. ‘But I don’t suppose it’s any worse than secretly reading someone else’s diary.’
47
Five minutes after raising his voice to Vendela, Max came back into the living room speaking quietly, almost whispering. The fist he had shaken at her was now an outstretched hand pointing at himself, at his own chest, and he had turned into the understanding psychologist.
‘I’m not angry with you, Vendela, you mustn’t think that,’ he said. He let out a long breath and added, ‘I’m just a little bit disappointed. That’s the way I feel at the moment.’
‘I know, Max... There’s nothing to worry about.’
After ten years, Vendela had learned that his annoyance and jealousy went in cycles, and were always worse when he was coming to the end of a book.
She was making an effort to remain calm. It was Friday evening — and the eve of the feast of St Mark, an important day according to folklore.
‘Max, I think I’m going to go out for a little run,’ she said, ‘then we can have a chat later.’
‘Do you have to? If you stay at home we can—’
‘Yes, it’s for the best.’
Vendela went into the bathroom to change. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror: a tired soul, a hungry body, and lines of anxiety etched on her forehead. She thought about the tablets that could make her feel better, but she didn’t even open the cabinet.
When she came out, Max was sitting in an armchair by the window with his Friday whisky, which was slightly bigger than his Thursday whisky. Aloysius was lying at the other end of the room, ears pricked towards his master.
Max lowered his glass and looked at her. ‘Don’t go for a run,’ he said quietly. ‘Can’t you spend the evening at home?’
‘I will be spending the evening at home, Max.’ Vendela tied her shoelaces and straightened up. ‘When I’ve been for a run. It’ll only take half an hour...’
‘Stay here.’
‘No, I’ll be back soon.’
Max knocked back his whisky and looked over at Aloysius. Then he stood up and took a couple of steps towards her. ‘I’m going to start thinking about a new book this weekend.’
‘Really? Already?’ said Vendela. ‘What’s this one going to be about?’
‘It’s going to be called Emotions to the Max. Or perhaps even better, Relationships to the Max.’ He smiled at her. ‘Relationships are the most important thing of all, aren’t they? Who we’re with, what we do with them. You and me. You and me and other people. You and other people.’
‘Me and other people... what are you talking about?’
‘You and our neighbour in the little house on the prairie.’ He nodded towards the north. ‘You and Per Mörner, you’ve got a close relationship going on there.’
‘Max, that’s not true!’
He moved two steps closer. Vendela could see that his temples were shiny with sweat, as if the heat before a thunderstorm was building up inside his head. The lightning would strike at any moment.
‘What’s not true?’ he said, wiping his fingers around his mouth. ‘I mean, I’ve seen it with my own eyes.’
‘We haven’t done anything.’
‘But you’ve been out for a run with him.’
‘Well, yes, but—’
‘And the grass on the prairie is dry now, I assume? Dry and soft? You can lie down on it, behind some stone wall?’
‘Stop it, Max,’ she said. ‘That’s enough.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes. You sit there brooding about what I might be doing when I go out running, but that’s because you’re really thinking about something else altogether.’
‘Like what?’
‘You know exactly what I mean... You’re thinking about Martin.’
‘No!’
Max moved quickly towards her and Vendela backed away.
If I say the wrong thing now, he’ll hit me, she thought.
‘I’m going out, Max,’ she said quietly, ‘until you calm down.’
Her husband’s shoulders dropped a fraction. ‘You do that,’ he said. ‘You just go.’
Vendela ran. With long strides she ran away from the fairytale palace she had dreamed of once upon a time. Away from Max. She thought of turning off towards the Mörners’ cottage and knocking on the door so that she could speak to a sensible person, but it looked as if it were all locked up. She hadn’t seen Per or his father all week, and the Kurdin family was also away.
She took a wide swing to the west and headed for the alvar. But this far south it was difficult to find her way; her route was frequently obstructed by stone walls she didn’t recognize, or by thorny thickets and barbed wire, and it was a while before the landscape opened out ahead of her.
As the sun went down she could see that the alvar had begun to bloom. The yellowish-brown ground had absorbed the water and was now shaded dark blue with spiked speedwell, wild thyme and pasque flower, dotted with bright-yellow dandelions. Beautiful.
But there was a stillness among all the beauty that felt ominous. When Vendela stopped to catch her breath among all the flowers, she closed her eyes and wished all those around her a happy and peaceful St Mark’s Eve. But she couldn’t feel any warmth or benevolence flowing back in return. She couldn’t see any pictures; there was only darkness.