I heard the giddy creature say that she was tired of looking at centenarians and would sit on the floor. No one would know because Her Majesty’s dress and that of the ladies in the front row would hide her.
But she did not content herself with that. I caught her just as the blackest of the black crows was bowing before me, peeping round the panniers of my gown and I could not, much as I tried, restrain my features. I put my fan up to my lips but the gesture was seen and I was aware of the glances of the old Princesses and Duchesses.
When I spoke I heard the laughter in my voice and I could not stop.
As soon as the ceremony was over I retired to my apartments and I and my ladies were almost hysterical with laughter.
“Do you think they saw us. Your Majesty?” asked little ClaremontTonnerre.
“What do I care if they did? Should the Queen of France care for the opinion of … of bundles … like that?”
Everyone thought that was very funny; but oddly enough, very soon the whole Court was talking of my frivolous behaviour at the mourning ceremony; and the old ladies declared that they would never come to pay their respects to that petite moqueuse again.
When I heard this I laughed aloud. I was the Queen of France, did I care for. the old ladies? They were collets monies, and if they did not come again to my Court, that suited me very well.
My conduct at the mourning ceremony was discussed everywhere. So was my silly remark about people of thirty being too ancient to come to Court. I had forgotten how many people over thirty there were at Court.
My enemies had produced a song which was meant to be a warning to me:
“Petite Reine, de vmgt ans, Vow, qui trcdtess si mal les gens, Vous re passeres la barriere Loire, la ire la ire lanlaire, la ire lama.” So if I were to misbehave they would send me packing. It should have been a warning as to the fickleness of the people.
Frivolous as I was, it was generally supposed that I should have great influence with the King. He was clearly very indulgent towards me and he always tried to please me in every way. I knew that it was the wish of my mother and Mercy that I should guide him through them and I fancied myself in the part of King’s adviser.
That unpleasant little rhyme I discovered could have been set in morion by the Due d’Aiguillon’s friends—no doubt he himself had had a part in it. He had been a great supporter of Madame du Barry, who was now safely housed in the Convent of the Font aux Dames, but he was still at Court to plague me. I pointed this out to Louis and I prevailed upon him to see that the Due was my enemy. My husband promised to send him into exile. I did not want that, because I knew what it meant to men such as he was to be sent away from Paris, so I asked the King merely to dismiss him from his post and leave it at that.
How blind I was i He knew he had me to blame for his dismissal, and he did not thank me for softening the blow in Paris he and his friends set about libelling me as they so well knew how to do; and that was the beginning of hundreds of damaging pamphlets and songs which in the next few years were to be circulated about me.
But at the time, I was flushed with triumph. I had had Aiguillon dismissed; now I would bring back my dear friend Monsieur de Choiseul.
“Poor Monsieur de Choiseul,” I said one day to my husband when we were alone in our apartment, ‘he is sad at Chanteloup. He longs to be back at Court. “
“I never liked him,” my husband replied.
“Your grandfather liked him …”
“And in time dismissed him.”
“That was due to du Barry. She brought that about. Your Majesty would not be influenced by a woman like thati’ ” I shall-always remember what he said to me one day.
“Monseigneur,” he said, “I may one day have the misfortune to be your subject, but I shall never be your servant” “
“We all say things at times which we do not mean. I am sure I do.”
He smiled at me tenderly.
“I am sure you do too,” he said.
I put my arms about his neck. He flushed slightly. He liked these attentions but they made him uncomfortable. I believe they brought back memories of those embarrassing embraces in the bedchamber.
“Louis,” I said, “I want you to allow me to invite Monsieur de Choiseul to return to Court. Can you deny me such a little thing?”
“You know that I find it difficult to deny you anything, but …”
“I knew you would not disappoint me.” I released him, thinking: I’ve won.
I lost no time in making it clear to Monsieur de Choiseul that the King had given him permission to return to Court, and Monsieur de Choiseul lost no time in coming.
He was full of hope, and when I saw him, although he had grown much older since our last meeting, I still thought him a fascinating man (for with his odd pug face he had never been handsome).
I was to learn something about my husband. He was not to be led. He was fond of me; he was proud of me; but he really believed that women must be kept out of politics and he was not going to allow even me to interfere.
He looked coolly at Choiseui and said: “You have put on weight since we last met. Monsieur Ie Due; and you have grown balder.”
Then he turned away, leaving the Due disconsolate. But there was nothing he could do; the King had turned away and dismissed him.
It was significant. I was not going to influence my husband. That would be a matter for his ministers.
I was sorry but for Monsieur de Choiseui, not for myself. I was ready to give up my dreams of power; nothing as serious as politics could hold my attention for long, and Mercy would have to tell my mother that the King was a man who would go his own way and that they must not expect me to meddle.
Mercy told me that my mother was not sorry Monsieur de Choiseui had not been taken back. I had asked the King to receive an ex-minister and the King had shown his respect for me doing so. That pleased her.
As for Monsieur de Choiseui, she did not think his character was such as would allow him to be of much help to the French nation at this stage of its history. At the same time, I had done well to bring about the dismissal of the Due d’Aiguillon.
It was always pleasant to have praise from my mother; but I could not enjoy her approval for long.
The Grim Rehearsal
“If the price of bread does not go down and the Ministry is not changed, we will set fire to the four corners of the Chateau of Versailles’
“If the price does not go down we will exterminate the King and the entire race of Bourbons’
Soon after we became King and Queen, Louis gave me the gift which brought more pleasure to me than anything else I ever possessed.
He came into our bedchamber one day and said rather sheepishly that it was the custom of each King of France to present his Queen on her accession to the throne with a residence which should be all her own to do with as she would. He had decided to present me with Le Petit Trianon.
Le Petit Trianon! That enchanting little house! Oh, it was delightful.
I loved it. Nothing, I declared, could have made me happier.
He stood smiling at me while I threw my aims about his neck and hugged him.
“It is very small.”
It’s a doll’s house!
“I cried.
“Hardly grand enough for the Queen of France, perhaps.”
“It’s beautiful!” I cried.
“I wouldn’t exchange it for any chateau in the world.”
He began to chuckle quietly as he often did at my wild enthusiasm.
“So it’s all mine!” I cried.
“I may do as I like there? There I can live like a simple peasant.