"It does please me," she said with a direct look into his eyes. "It pleases me very much." She gave him a gentle look that convinced him of her sincerity, that told him of her affection for him, and then it dissolved back behind that stony mask. "Let me go get you something to eat. I'd better see some hot food, too. I told those cooks to have hot food ready at all times. I'm going to make sure I don't have to explain things to them again. I can't tolerate repeating myself," she grunted as she opened the door, then stepped out.
"My," Dolanna said after a second. "I never thought to see emotion from that face."
"She's not heartless," Tarrin defended in a vigorous voice. "She's just… abrupt."
"I know, Tarrin," she said in a gentle voice. "You should be proud. For someone like her to accept you is an honor."
"I am proud," he said sincerely, looking up at his mentor. "I hope I don't disappoint her."
"Dear one, I do not think you could, no matter what you do," she said with a smile.
It had been a busy evening.
After eating, Triana sat down with Dolanna and began teaching him again. Dolanna had become curious about the customs of the Woodkin, so Triana had allowed her to be present for the instruction. That had lasted well into the night. After Triana finished for the evening, Tarrin spent more time than he should have with Dar and Allia, playing King's Crown and just enjoying their company. Then Dar went to bed, and Faalken replaced him. Tarrin enjoyed the Knight's company, for he was irreverent and amusing, always trying to make Tarrin and Allia laugh. He knew when to put on a serious face and be a Knight, but when relaxing, he was a completely different person.
After Faalken retired for the evening, Tarrin stayed up to nearly midnight with Allia, just being near her. The bonds between them ran deeper than even he understood, and from time to time he craved just to be near her, to hear her and see her and have her scent surround him. The time recovering and the long sessions of instruction had cut into the quiet time he usually spent with his sister, time he wanted to make up to her. The time they spent that night had been in nearly complete silence, as they sat together on his bed and read from the book teaching Sha'Kar that Keritanima had left behind with her other belongings. Dolanna had become that precious book's new guardian, and had left it for them so they could brush up on their vocabulary. They would probably have need of a complete grasp of the language, if they had to converse extensively with Keritanima using it.
But time caught up with both of them, and the ache in Tarrin's chest began to get more pronounced, signalling to him that it was time to rest. He said his goodnights to his sister and settled in for the night, thinking over the events of the day. It had been a full one. Mist had been healed, and Triana had accepted him completely. Part of him still just glowed over that. It made him proud to think of Triana as his bond-mother, to know that she accepted him just as completely as she accepted her own natural children. He loved her, and he hoped that she loved him as much in return.
There was a sound at the door. It was slight, as if the person there didn't want to be heard. Tarrin sat up, ignoring the little bite in his chest, staring at the door in the darkness brought on by the clouds hiding the Skybands and moons. It was even dark enough to make the door's outline murky to his night-sighted eyes, but he could see from the light seeping under the door that someone was standing there. He breathed in deeply through his nose, analyzing the air. He sorted through the scents left behind by others, until he isolated the one that was emanating from behind that door. It was very faint, but he could identify it easily enough. It was Mist.
What did she want? Was she simply taking a turn at the door, as Allia and Faalken had done? Was this her shift to stand guard over him? Most likely. He couldn't think of any other reason for her to be there.
He'd started to lay back down, but the door opened quickly. Almost as if she wanted to surprise him. The light silhouetted her form, making him appreciate the powerful yet feminine outline of her body, hiding the features of her face in the shadow created by the candles behind her.
"Mist?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
She stepped in and closed the door, then leaned against it in the way that Triana tended to do when she came in. "I," she said in a strange voice, then she was silent. It was quivering, unsure. Afraid? What reason did she have to be afraid? She cleared her throat, then started again. "I wanted to, thank you, for what you did for me," she said, her voice backed by courage, from the sound of it.
"It was nothing," he told her. "I'd do the same for any of my kin."
"It's not nothing to me!" she said with ferocity in her voice, coming off the door and standing straight and tall. Nearly defiant. "You gave me back something I thought I'd lost forever," she said, her voice wavering again. "I can't repay you for that. Ever. But it's only half of what I'm missing."
Tarrin's mind began to consider the implications of that, but she continued. "You gave me back the chance to have my own children, but-" She came to his bed, leaning over him, and he could see into her eyes. He could see the desperation there. "But I don't trust anyone else, Tarrin! I couldn't take a mate. I wouldn't let anyone get that close to me, except for you!"
That stunned him, but she didn't give him a chance to think about it. "Give me this one thing, and I'll never bother you again," she said in a pleading tone. "You gave me back my ability to have a child. I want that child to be yours. It can't be anyone's but yours."
He shook off the astonishment. She trusted him! She actually trusted him! That was almost as impressive as the fact that she wanted him to sire her child, something that made the human in him go into apoplexy. Mist, who was so alone, had finally shaken the steel around her heart and opened it to another. But it was fragile. He could see it all over her. If he rejected her, rebuffed her, it would completely destroy her. She had finally gone against the very fiber of her being and let her guard down to another. If he didn't honor the tremendous risk she was taking, it would make him no better than the worst villain in the world.
What she was asking was serious, and she seemed to understand it. It may not mean much to a Were-cat, for the males of his kind had no involvement in the rearing of a child, but Tarrin wasn't born Were. His human sensibilities rebelled against what she was asking. But there was no way even the human in him could look into the desperation in her eyes and say no. It was too important to her, and he wouldn't deny her the one thing she'd dreamed of for a very, very long time.
He reached up and put his paw on her arm. "It's not a bother, Mist," he said gently. "You don't have to think that you have to never see me again if I do what you want."
"Will you? I'm begging, Tarrin! Please?"
"It's too important to you, Mist," he said calmly. "I wouldn't deny it from you, no matter what. If it's what you want, then I'll do it. But you have to get permission from Triana. If she catches us in here, she'll flay us both."
She nearly jumped up and down. And she was trembling. She reached down and put her paw against his cheek, then she turned and literally ran out of the room. She almost didn't get the door open before trying to go through the doorway. She left it open after nearly breaking it down trying to get out of the room. She was certainly in a hurry.
Tarrin blew out his breath and laid back down. What was he getting himself into? He wasn't afraid of Mist; what he'd seen was too much from her heart to be a lie. She'd wanted a child all her life, and Tarrin realized that he was the only one around who could fulfill that lifelong dream. He had healed her, but now he had to give her more to complete her dream. And he found he was willing to give her that. He felt so sorry for Mist, he had so much compassion for her, he would do anything she asked if it helped make her feel better. He didn't love her, but what she wanted of him didn't require love.