“Including yourself,” Meyfarth said, “or that fact would not trouble you.”
“What troubles me is that if I follow my conscience I’ll kill the family,” said Christopher. “They’ve put me in a position where I can’t win. And they can’t lose. Either they’ll turn me into the man they want or they’ll turn me out and find another.”
“Something like that has already happened to you once, hasn’t it?” asked Meyfarth.
“No,” Christopher said. “I left that one myself.”
“I see. Perhaps this is a good time for me to hear about your marriage. You were living in San Francisco then?”
“I don’t see what my marriage has to do with what I’m here to work on.”
“The common element is you,” Meyfarth said simply.
“But it’s old news,” said Christopher.
“Do you really think that a relationship that serious which ended that unhappily had no effect on how you approached your next bonding?”
Christopher looked away. “I know what effects it had.”
“You were really quite young,” Meyfarth said. “How did you come to marry Donald and Kristen?”
The question took Christopher away from Meyfarth, two years and two thousand kilometers away. “Donald was my friend,” he said. “We were both working for DIANNA in San Francisco, in the updates group. I was a year out of school. Kristen—I met Kristen at a musicbox down in Santa Cruz. She was a singer, though I didn’t know that when I met her. Terrific energy.”
“What did she look like?”
A little smile. “Tall. Very tall. A graceful gazelle. Chestnut-brown hair, what people call laughing eyes. I’d phone her now and again, and things would get pretty warm. And sometimes she’d come up for an evening, a few friends over to make some music. One time Donald was one of them.”
“So that’s how they met.”
“No. They already knew each other—they met taking a tour of San Simeon, the old Hearst mansion, of all places. They’d been dating for a few months and hadn’t realized that they both knew me. We started doing things together, the three of us, and the one-on-ones kept getting warmer. She wanted us both, but she was old-fashioned—contract first, play later. So we ended up getting married and moving into a house in Santa Cruz.”
“Was there love, too, or just sex?”
“I thought I loved her,” Christopher said. “I don’t know how to judge whether I really did. Three years later I was gone. What does that say?”
“Nothing,” Meyfarth said. “Nothing by itself. Were you three happy?”
“Kristen was. Donald was. Most of the time I wasn’t.”
“Why?”
He hesitated. “Do you know what it’s like to watch someone else make love to your wife?”
“What was that like?”
Christopher covered his mouth with steepled hands as he thought. “He was my best friend, and I ended up hating him.”
“Because you had to share Kristen?”
“It wasn’t bad at first,” he said, looking up and coming back from his faraway place. “It was all new and very crazy. We knew we were safe, and we could do anything. There were whole weekends when all we did was fuck. We invented new ways to put two into one. Or at least we thought we did.”
“Was there ever any sexual contact between you and Donald?”
“No,” Christopher said. “Nothing more than a kiss.”
“Isn’t that difficult to manage with three in a bed? It seems to me that the incidental contact, the energy, would eventually lead to—”
“I didn’t want that. I made sure he knew it. I’m not a bigot. It just didn’t appeal to me.”
Meyfarth shook his head. “Try again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That’s a forty percent answer. Peel back one more layer. You were friends sharing a woman, pleasuring a woman—”
“Exactly. We were focused on Kristen. She was the center of attention. It was like a challenge to see how high we could send her. We were partners.”
“At the beginning.”
Christopher slumped back in his chair. “Yeah. At the beginning.”
“And it never changed so you or Donald was the focus, the other two the partners.”
“No. Not really.”
Meyfarth frowned. “It’s a bit astonishing to me that your love-making had but one pattern. You’re in bed together, the three of you. Everyone shifts positions, and there’s his cock at your mouth, or yours at his. You realize that’s his hand on your buttocks, not hers—”
“I wasn’t going to let him do that to me,” Christopher said coldly.
“Do what?”
“He started trying to take over. He started trying to make Kristen look to him first. If I’d let him have that, too, I’d have lost everything he hadn’t already taken.”
“And so—”
“We’d started out even. I didn’t care for the way things changed. She liked both of us together. But she liked him alone best. How was I supposed to feel?” he demanded. “Why are we talking about this? What does this have to do with me now?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“If there is anything, yes, goddammit. If not, then let’s move on.”
“I heard the answers in what you said. I’m wondering why you didn’t.”
Christopher balked at the implied criticism. “Maybe you’re going to have to rub my nose in it.”
“All right,” Meyfarth said calmly. “I will. You drew a sharp line between yourself and Donald in your marriage and pointed everything toward Kristen.”
“Yes.”
“And you expected Loi and Jessica to do the same.”
“I—” Christopher stopped in mid-denial, looking surprised. “Maybe I did.”
“You wanted Kristen’s position. You wanted to be the focus.”
“At least sometimes, yes. Is there anything wrong with that?”
Meyfarth ignored the question. “You thought you chose both Loi and Jessica. You thought they were going to give you that.”
“Yes.”
“That being the only man would make you the focus.”
“Ah—”
“But the truth is that Loi did the choosing. She’s the one at the center. She’s where you wanted to be. And you’re only just realizing it.”
Christopher stared at Meyfarth. His expression was half wild-eyed indignation, half wide-eyed revelation. His mouth worked and his eyes grew bright with moisture.
“God,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Yes. I never saw it. I never saw it. She’s just like Donald. Like Donald all over again.”
CHAPTER 16
—GAG—
“… the imperative command.”
Stone-rough and patchy white, the sheer vertical walls of Fort Jesus were slowly crumbling, shedding their brittle masonry skin. Mikhail Dryke touched the brick above a narrow-arched cannon portal, and his hand came away powdered with dust and a smear of mold and yellow lichen.
Peering out through the portal at narrow Mombasa Harbor, Dryke watched as a small sailing ship passed unconcernedly under the cannon’s one-eyed gaze. The sixteenth-century Portuguese fortress was a toothless dog, its black-barreled cannon resting on laughable fake carriages or lying uselessly on the ground in rows. There were no breeching ropes to restrain them, no powder, no linstock and worm, and the pyramided shot had been welded into mere decoration.
But the fort’s command of the harbor, and the craft in its design, were still evident to Dryke’s eye. The stronghold stood where Leven Reef pinched the navigable channel down to a few hundred meters’ width. The guns of the lower gallery controlled the channel, while the high parapet commanded the harbor entrance and land approaches.
So simple, and so effective. For a hundred years, the garrison at Fort Jesus—rarely more than a few hundred men—had been the anchor of Portuguese power all along the East African coast. And when it finally fell, it took a three-year siege by an Omani fleet numbering more than three thousand men to win the victory.