“Heuristic?” Leonis scowled. “You know communication is about conveying meaning, right? Not showing off big words?”
Lianshi stuck her tongue out at him. “What I’m trying to say is that these processes, these guidelines we’ve been given, they feel like indirect means to help us understand what really matters. Scorio didn’t spend too much energy trying to compact his reservoir. Or he did, but that’s not what pushed him over the edge. It was his breakthrough that led to a new sense of self-understanding, and which probably caused his reservoir to grow dense again. As if the epiphany worked as a…” She frowned, seeking the right word. “Lever? Mechanism? That compacted his Heart for him.”
Naomi was slowly nodding. “I’ve been trying to make Tomb Spark for years. But it was always through technique and focusing on my Heart.” She looked away, over the Farmlands. “I avoided thinking about my actual self as much as I could.”
Leonis leaned forward, excited. “So you’re saying that just purely focusing on compacting our reservoirs is actually—what? Going about it backwards?”
“Inefficient at the very least,” agreed Lianshi.
“I was talking to Jova yesterday,” began Scorio.
“We saw,” Naomi observed dryly. “You spent all day walking with her.”
Leonis grinned. “Jealous, Naomi?”
She responded by effortlessly shifting into the Nightmare Lady form and angling her tail overhead, its wicked triangular blade pointed at his face.
“Not jealous,” Leonis said hurriedly. “You couldn’t have cared less. Got it.”
Naomi shifted back, sniffed, and looked to Scorio. “You were saying?”
“That we were discussing Flame Vault. She said I need to increase the reactivity of my Heart. But when pressed as to the how of it, she said it was a question of confidence in our new powers, of strengthening our will so that we could Ignite reflexively. Which again feels more along the lines of an epiphany than mental exercises focused exclusively on our Hearts.”
Lianshi nodded excitedly. “Exactly. It’s as if the process of manifesting our greatest powers is more a question of self-knowledge, confidence, and desire rather than sheer practice and disciplined training. It feels as if we could spend our lives working through the Forms, focusing on mediation, sweeping mana into our Hearts, and never advance.”
“Then why don’t they just tell us this from the get-go?” asked Leonis. “Why all this misdirection?”
“It’s not misdirection,” said Naomi. “All the training we’re told to do is crucial to our discipline and hones our instincts and self-control. I think they’re both necessary. Training without self-awareness results in perfect technique without soul. Self-awareness without training would be like pouring the ocean into a cup. It would just overflow and spill everywhere, never expanding the size of the vessel itself.”
Scorio nodded. “That’s exactly right. Pouring power into a cup. The power comes from our self-knowledge and desire. The size of the vessel is determined by our discipline and training. Perhaps the teachers don’t emphasize the self-awareness because we need to reach that realization ourselves. Perhaps highlighting it makes it all the harder for us to achieve it. We have to do so naturally, need to achieve our breakthrough on our own for it to have its full effect.”
“Fine.” Leonis frowned. “So I think we can all say we’re dedicated practitioners of the skill side of things.”
“We can?” asked Lianshi skeptically.
Leonis powered on. “But how does one tackle the self-awareness part? I’ve had some… I don’t know if I’d call them breakthroughs, but realizations of my own. And I’m still an Emberling.”
Scorio rubbed at his jaw. “I don’t know. But I’d wager there’s something holding each of you back. Some kind of guilt, or resentment, or refusal to accept an aspect of yourselves. For me it was taking responsibility for the deeds I committed in my past lives, and how they resulted in the injustices of today. You need to dig deep and identify the barriers that are holding you back.”
Naomi scowled. “That sounds unpleasant.”
“But you’ve already grown so much,” said Lianshi immediately. “Remember the first time we met? You could barely make yourself walk with us. Now you’re our friend. Surely there’s more there you can… I don’t know, excavate.”
“You’re a pretty angry lady,” said Leonis. “The proof is that just my saying that will piss you off.”
“It’s true,” cut in Scorio before Naomi could retort. “Think about it. I’ve been furious about the consequences of being a Red Lister, the injustice I faced for merely being born into this world.”
“And?” asked Naomi coldly.
Scorio held her stare. “And you’re angry about the way the Academy treated you, how Bastion was opposed to your success from the very beginning. How the best choice seemed to be to run away from it all and take up residence in your tower.”
Naomi’s face went pale and then flushed. “What are you saying? I need to take responsibility for being treated as a worthless person?”
“No,” began Scorio, but Naomi leaped to her feet.
“This all sounds very nice, but if making Tomb Spark means denying what happened, or saying the way the Academy treats people like me is all right, then I don’t think I’ll be advancing anytime soon.”
And she stalked off.
“That went well,” said Leonis.
“Maybe we’re supposed to figure this stuff out on our own,” said Lianshi softly.
“She lived in the ruins for years without making any progress,” said Scorio, watching her go. “I think that’s what friends are for. Pushing us. Telling us uncomfortable truths. Just as you both did when I wanted to return to the old Gauntlet myself after we discovered it. Remember?”
“Yeah,” said Leonis. “I thought you were going to attack me.”
“I almost did. But it was because of moments like that one that I was able to see the truth later on.” Scorio sighed. “Isn’t that what friends are for? Saying the truths nobody else dares or cares to say?”
They sat in silence.
“Do you see anything obvious about my own limitations?” asked Lianshi, not raising her gaze from the grass.
“No, actually.” Scorio smiled apologetically. “You’re great. Kind, considerate, supportive, a hard worker, the smartest person I’ve met, and as driven as myself. Sorry.”
Lianshi blushed.
“Whereas I have a list of complaints about you,” began Leonis, but reared back when Lianshi laughed and threw a fistful of torn grass at him. “What? I’ve had to live with you for almost a year, I know you better than anyone else. Let’s start with your inability to appreciate greatness—”
“Regardless,” said Lianshi, sitting up straight. “Scorio’s right. We need to continue focusing on our advancement. It wasn’t lost on me that both you and I were helpless against Evelyn, Leonis. We need to manifest our next set of powers if we’re to carry our own weight out here.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Leonis extended his hand and Nezzar materialized in his hand, massive and brutal. “I can put a serious dent in just about anything I can hit with this thing, but Scorio’s compulsion field, Evelyn’s hair, Jova’s own horror show—all of those have made me aware of how limited that power is if I can’t get close.”
“Which is why we need to do more than gape as we walk,” said Scorio. “From here on out, I suggest we focus on our training as we go. It’d be fantastic if we’re all Tomb Sparks by the time we reach the Fiery Shoals.”
“Agreed. Yes.” Lianshi gave a sharp nod. “I’m going to really think about it. And if either of you identifies something holding me back, please, let me know.”
“I was just getting started,” said Leonis, then paused. “Wait. You seriously don’t think disrespecting the Golden King counts?”
Lianshi raised an eyebrow.
Leonis sighed. “This is a barbaric land.”