Erienne couldn’t sleep. The state room she shared with Denser was airy and large, the bed beautifully comfortable. Denser lay quietly beside her but she was unsettled from having spent so much of her time over the last few days exhausted from the continuous training the Al-Drechar had given her.
It had gone on day and night during the sea journey but they’d left her alone for the walk to Blackthorne. They’d known she needed her energy and said they’d be back to help her sleep, but she’d heard nothing and now she felt fearful because without the touch of those she despised to keep her safe she wasn’t sure she could control the power that had awakened within her.
She felt gorged with energy and thought of waking Denser before she realised she couldn’t channel it physically. It was there in her mind. So instead she lay quietly, trying to still her thoughts as Cleress had taught her, and visualised her mind as a plug that fitted precisely over the well of energy surging in the One entity. But every time she tried to force the plug into place, flares of deep brown mana energy escaped. Not dangerous but very uncomfortable, the mana energy sniped at her consciousness and fed on her doubt. She felt as if she were alone with a wild animal, trapped in the cage of her own skull. And then fear swept her. How could she hope to control what she couldn’t even understand? The pain grew again, thudding and reverberating.
‘Oh, Lyanna,’ she whispered, seeing for the first time the edges of the torment that must have gripped her innocent little child.
Yet saying her name brought Erienne renewed determination. Fail now and fail Lyanna. She repeated the words as she fought to calm herself, to see through the fear, and in doing so realised her mistake. She had been seeing the One as a force wholly like mana, the random fuel of magic. But it was something much greater. It drew on everything around it, on the air and the earth as well as mana itself, like it was an integral part of the world, bound into its fabric.
She would have to adjust the way she thought, for while the One could be moulded as mana could, it could not be contained in the same way. It was not inert until channelled, like mana; it was already focussed because it reflected the land and elemental forces around it. That meant its focus would shift wherever she went so her mind would have to do the same to retain control. It would be like continually starting from scratch.
Deciding sleep would be a long time coming, Erienne settled back and tried to examine the One magic that already seethed within her, barely checked but not yet even fully awakened. Tuning her eyes further into the mana spectrum to give her a clearer view, she could see the deep brown of the One, delicate strands upsetting the random flow of the mana around it. Where mana normally flowed through everything, it was repelled by the One yet drawn to it at the same time. Unchecked, she could well imagine the devastation a full awakening of the One would wreak on a defenceless mind and in the world around because as it drew and expelled the mana it gained in intensity.
Watching the gossamer strands gradually thickening gave her an idea. She traced them down to their source within her consciousness, to the dark pulsating entity she thought of as the heart of the One. Forcing the strands back with her mind as she had been trying wouldn’t work, she could see that now. Instead, Erienne wove a pattern with the mana around them, using the attractive and repulsive elements to funnel the strands back on themselves, making loops that fed back directly into the pulsing core.
Almost at once its energy lessened as it was forced into relative dormancy, feeding only on itself. At the same time Erienne felt a wave of tiredness travel through her. She could partition her mind to maintain the simple mana shape that blocked the One strands but it would drain her slowly.
She snuggled up to Denser, feeling the comfort of his gently moving body as he slept. He stirred a little at her touch, then stilled.
It is a lesson consummately learned. You are a very talented mage. Cleress’s voice, soothing and quiet, stole into her mind.
Erienne’s instant irritation at the intrusion was replaced by relief that the Al-Drechar were still with her.
I wondered if you’d be watching, she replied. But don’t push your luck.
You must learn to control the One without us as soon as you can. Tonight you understood a tiny part of that control.
Meaning?
That what you felt were the merest tendrils of the potential of the One magic. Myriell was holding back the tide with you.
Erienne blanked for a moment. How small a force was I being exposed to just then?
Perhaps a thousandth, said Cleress. Minuscule.
Erienne gasped. And she had felt that energy easily enough and seen it feed and strengthen.
How could I ever hope to control or use the whole?
You cannot. No one can, not even us. We will teach you to keep the mass dormant so that it becomes second nature, and to use only that which you need. It is a tightrope but you have the ability. Now do you begin to understand?
What? But Erienne knew exactly what the old elf meant.
Lyanna could never hope to contain it. She was too young even to weave the simple mana shape you just employed. Erienne, the One returned to rest when it transferred to you. In Lyanna, it was fully awakened. By the time we met her it was already too late. The Dordovans had set something in motion that was unstoppable.
You still let her die, said Erienne, but her hatred was fading.
We really did have no choice, Cleress’s voice pleaded inside her. As a host for the One, Lyanna was doomed, Erienne. And she would have killed us all before she died in torment had we not effected the transfer.
By ‘us’ you mean the Al-Drechar.
Initially, said Cleress. But you’ve seen how the One feeds on the elements around it. And you know what the uncontrolled power can do hundreds of miles distant. Before it killed her, the One would have gorged itself further, making the destruction you witnessed seem as nothing.
All right! snapped Erienne.
Transferring the One to you was the only way to stop it but keep it alive.
Yes, I—Erienne broke off, considering for a moment. And what if I hadn’t been there to host it?
We would have had to extinguish it, said Cleress, her tone leaden. And we couldn’t afford to do that.
Erienne froze, all thought of sleep gone. She opened her eyes and looked down on Denser, still sleeping beside her.
There’s something I have to know, she said, fearing the answer. Could you have extinguished the One and kept my daughter alive? Her heart thudded in the silence inside her mind. Could you?
Cleress sighed. It was possible, she said eventually.
Thank you for your honesty, said Erienne, feeling her strength collapse. Now get the fuck out of my head.
Erienne, no—
And take your senile witch sister with you.
Erienne, please—
Get out. Now.
I’m afraid we can’t do that, Erienne. It was Myriell, voice strong, with no hint of sympathy.
Erienne felt her mind filling with a fury she had no desire to quell, her grief washing over her again as if Lyanna had died just there and then.
Go. Your touch sickens me. She could barely get her thoughts in order.
It had to be that way, said Myriell.
You let her die for an experiment. She could still be alive. The tears were falling down Erienne’s cheeks and her body was rocking where she sat in the bed. She could still be alive.
And countless numbers would now be consigned to death with no one and nothing to save them. This was no experiment.
Don’t give me that. You’re lying.
First it would have been all the elves, next everyone on Balaia, said Myriell, like she was listing goods on a cart. And we mean everyone.
Go.
We will not.