The words had been spoken with humour, but Nina’s expression revealed that she had taken them very seriously indeed. ‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘I’m worried that… that I’m going to be a bad mom,’ she admitted in a quiet voice.
Eddie was surprised. ‘Why would you think that?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ She held out both hands to encompass their surroundings. ‘I’m four months pregnant, and I’m in a cave halfway up a mountain in the middle of a desert looking for an ancient relic with the power to kill thousands of people! I should be going to Lamaze classes or pigging out with a big tub of chocolate fudge ice cream.’
‘Just because you’re having a baby doesn’t make you an invalid. And it doesn’t mean you have to give up everything else, either.’
‘That’s the thing, though,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to give this up. Not now; not at all. And that’s why I’m worried about becoming a mother — because I’ll have to give it up. Which makes me… selfish. We’re having a child, but I just keep thinking about how that’ll stop me from… from doing what I do.’
She turned away from him, looking down into the darkness of the cenote. ‘You know what’s weird? We were both dragged into this in the worst way possible, but now that we’re free… I’m almost glad I’m here. I could have told Oswald to hand this over to someone at the IHA, but I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it,’ she repeated, with emphasis. ‘I deliberately chose to do something that could be dangerous, even though I’m pregnant. What the hell kind of mother does that?’
‘But… you do still want a child?’ Eddie asked hesitantly.
‘Yes, I do — of course I do!’ She looked down at the slight swell of her abdomen. ‘I want us to have a baby together. But it’s kind of scary, and I hadn’t realised just how scary because I had other issues going on. First I was in denial about how much Macy’s death had affected me, and because of that I was hyper-obsessed with working on the book — and then I was blocked because I was depressed and not sure if everything I’d done in my life was actually worth it.’
‘You were?’ he asked, surprised.
‘I wasn’t seeing a shrink to get over my fear of public speaking. And I know I should have told you exactly why I was having therapy, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to burden you with my psychological problems.’
‘Yeah, you should have done,’ he said, though with sympathy rather than in remonstration. ‘We’re married. Being burdened with your problems is sort of my job! But just because we’re having a kid doesn’t mean you have to give up everything important to you. It just means you need to change how you do it. You can still write your book, for a start.’ He moved up behind her. ‘And since you’re not at the IHA any more, maybe you can do some of that “proper” archaeology you go on about, and dig little bits of junk out of the dirt instead of being surrounded by gunfire and explosions.’
‘I could definitely live with that,’ she said, managing a small smile, albeit brief.
Eddie wrapped his arms around her waist. ‘You can do anything you put your mind to; I know you, you’re too bloody stubborn to give up! Trust me, you’ll be a great mum.’
‘I don’t know,’ said Nina glumly. ‘I really don’t know if I will…’
Echoing footsteps signalled Jared’s return. ‘I brought the rope and some gear,’ the Israeli called as he reappeared.
‘Good lad,’ said Eddie. ‘Okay, let’s set this up.’
Nina watched as they pounded a pair of pitons into the rock wall, then fixed the rope to them. ‘You do realise that if the bridge collapses when you cross it, you’ll swing back and slam into the wall, right?’
‘Course I do,’ her husband replied. ‘That’s why I’m sending the kid!’
Jared gave him a startled look, which quickly became one of smug superiority. ‘Actually, I was going to volunteer anyway. You can’t leave something like this to an unsteady old man.’
‘You keep thinking that,’ said Eddie. He secured the rope to the younger man’s harness. ‘You sure you want to do this?’ he asked, more concerned.
Jared looked down into the pit’s inky depths. ‘No… but somebody has to, and my mom really would be disappointed in me if I let a pregnant woman risk it!’
‘Thank you, Jared,’ said Nina, with an appreciative nod.
‘I’ll play out the rope to you,’ said Eddie, picking up the coil of nylon line. ‘If the bridge looks like it’s going to give way, run right back. If you fall, I’ll catch you.’
Now the Israeli was the appreciative one, although he couldn’t resist making a crack. ‘Hope your withered arms can take the weight, alter kocker.’
‘Or I could fucking kick you over there… Ready?’
Jared steeled himself. ‘Yeah.’
‘Okay. Watch yourself.’
The Israeli cautiously put one foot on the narrow bridge. The old wooden beams had been dried out over flames to harden them; even so, they creaked. He edged forward. ‘Seems solid so far.’
‘Your weight’s still being taken by that hinge,’ Nina reminded him, her nervousness growing. ‘Please be careful.’
‘Don’t worry, I will!’ He aimed his flashlight down at the bridge, then advanced until he was clear of the support. The creaks grew in volume as he shuffled along… then eased.
Nina let out a relieved breath. ‘Thank God.’
‘You’re doing fine,’ Eddie called, carefully letting out more rope. ‘Just take it easy. You’re about a third of the way there.’
Jared moved on — then abruptly stopped. ‘Some of the planks are missing.’
‘Then don’t step on the holes!’
The advice drew a glare, but he adjusted his step to traverse the gap. The next intact board held, though with a raspy protest. A second space, wider, but this too he successfully crossed. ‘It’s holding.’
‘Great,’ said Eddie, trying not to let his concern show. He knew that a loss of confidence could be as dangerous as any broken plank. ‘You’re almost halfway across. Just keep going, nice and steady.’
Jared used his torch to check the remainder of the bridge. ‘There aren’t any more gaps,’ he said as he took another careful step. ‘I should be able—’
Crack!
Nina shrieked as the gunshot snap of breaking wood echoed around the cenote. Jared staggered, trying to regain his balance…
He failed. Arms flailing, he toppled towards the abyss.
26
Eddie yanked the rope, pulling Jared on to his back just before he plunged. The whole bridge shook. The Israeli’s flashlight spun away into the darkness below as he grabbed at the crossing. ‘Jared!’ yelled the Yorkshireman, reeling in the line. ‘Hold on, I’ve got you!’
Jared secured himself. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay!’
Eddie held the line taut. ‘You sure?’
The younger man waited until the bridge stopped shuddering, then very slowly sat up. More moans came from the supports, but the structure held. ‘Yes! Let it out again so I can get up.’
Reluctantly, Eddie did so. Jared cautiously rose to a crouch. Nina aimed her flashlight to illuminate the bridge ahead of him. He surveyed the dusty wood, then continued onwards with great care. Eddie played the rope out in his wake.
The Mossad agent passed the three-quarters mark — then froze, as did Nina and Eddie, as a pole cracked beneath him. The structure swayed… then steadied. Nina shone her light at the supports. ‘I think it’s okay,’ she said.
‘How does the bridge feel?’ Eddie asked Jared.
The Israeli glanced back. ‘About two thousand years old! Nina, can you give me more light?’