“How could I live anywhere else but in Rome?” she said. “I should die of grief. But there is a much worse and even stranger thing. I shouldn’t even dare tell you if I couldn’t trust your discretion completely. A Jewish soothsayer, and you know how clever they are at that kind of thing, told me a little while ago-don’t laugh now-that one day I’d be the consort of an Emperor.”
“But my dear sweet Poppaea,” I said, “haven’t you read what Cicero says about prophecies? Don’t bother your pretty little head with such madness.”
Poppaea sulked and said sourly, “Why do you say it’s madness? Otho’s family is a very ancient one, and he has many friends in the Senate. In fact Nero can do nothing about the prophecy except by dissolving our marriage. He has his own Octavia, although he swears he’ll never bring himself to sleep with her, so great is his dislike for the poor girl. On the other hand, I cannot understand how a young Emperor can and wants to have a freed slave-girl for his bed companion. It’s so low and despicable in my view that I boil whenever I think about it.”
I was silent and thoughtful.
“What do you really want of me?” I asked finally, somewhat distrustfully.
Poppaea patted my cheek, sighed tremulously and gave me a warm look.
“Oh, Minutus,” she said. “You’re not really very clever, are you? But perhaps that’s why I like you so much. A woman needs a friend to talk to honestly about anything. If you were a real friend, you would go to Nero and tell him everything. He’d be bound to receive you if you tell him you’ve come from me. He’s already so attracted to me that I know he’d listen.”
‘What do you mean by everything?” I asked. “You’ve just said you trust my discretion.”
Poppaea drew my hand to her and pressed it to her hip.
“Tell him he must leave me alone,” she said, “because he makes me so weak. I am only a woman and he is irresistible. But if in my weakness I fell for his seduction, I should have to take my own life to retain my self-respect since I cannot live in dishonor. Tell him that definitely. Tell him about the prophecy, too, for I cannot bear the thought of Otho harming him in any way. In my stupidity, I happened to tell Otho about the prophecy and I regret doing so very much. I had no idea how ambitious he really is.”
I had not the slightest wish to run errands for Poppaea again. But her presence made me powerless and her eager trust in me appealed to my masculine need to protect the weak. True, I was beginning to suspect dimly that Poppaea was not in great need of protection. On the other hand, I thought I could not possibly be mistaken about the shy modesty in her conduct and her lovely gray eyes. She would hardly have leaned so trustfully against me and let me embrace her if she had had the slightest idea what she was arousing in my shameless body.
After searching for a long time, I found Nero in Gaius’ circus exercising his Spanish team by racing at a tremendous speed around the course against the once-exiled Gaius Sophonius Tigellinus, whom he had appointed stablemaster. There were guards at the entrance for form’s sake, but in spite of this quite a few people had gathered in the spectators’ seats to cheer Nero on and applaud him.
I had to wait a long time before Nero, sticky with sweat, finally removed his helmet and had the protective linen bandages taken from his legs. Tigellinus praised him for his rapid progress and criticized him severely for mistakes he had ‘made in the turns and with the side-horses’ reins. Nero listened humbly and accepted the advice. Quite reasonably, he trusted Tigellinus unquestioningly in all matters concerning horses and chariots.
Tigellinus gave way for no one and treated his slaves with great brutality. Tall, muscular, thin-faced, he looked arrogantly around as if conscious that there was nothing in life that could not be overcome by harshness. He had once lost everything he possessed, but as an exile he had made a fortune breeding horses and in fisheries. It was said that no woman or boy was safe in his presence.
When I indicated with grimaces and gestures that my errand was important, Nero allowed me to accompany him to the bathhouse in the garden. When I whispered Poppaea Sabina’s name in his ear, he sent all the others away and as a favor allowed me to scrub his dusty squat body clean with the pumice stone. With lively questions, he managed to extract from me practically everything Poppaea had said.
“Leave her in peace then,” I said solemnly. “That’s all she asks, so that she is not torn by her feelings. She wishes only to be an honorable wife. You yourself know her modesty and innocence.”
Nero burst out laughing, but then turned serious, nodding several times.
“Of course, I’d rather you had come with laurels on your spearhead, messenger,” he said. “I am surprised how well you understand women. But I’ve had enough of their whims. There are other women in the world besides Lollia Poppaea. So I’ll leave her in peace. She herself will have to see that she doesn’t keep bobbing up in front of my eyes as she has done hitherto. Greet her from me and tell her that her conditions are much too demanding.”
“But she hasn’t made any conditions,” I protested in confusion.
Nero looked at me pityingly.
“You’d better go and see to your wild animals and your own wife,” he said. “Send Tigellinus to me to wash my hair.”
So he sent me away. But I could understand him, if he really were so blindly in love with Poppaea and was now disappointed at her refusal. I hurried happily back to tell Poppaea the good news, but to my surprise she was not at all pleased. In fact she smashed a little jar to pieces, so that the expensive ointment splashed on the floor and the scent of it made my head whirl.
Her face was twisted and ugly as she cried, “We’ll see who will win in the end, he or I.”
I well remember the day the following summer when I was stubbornly demanding that the overseer of the aqueduct should have newer and bigger lead pipes taken to the menagerie. For several days we had been having the hot wind which brought red dust and gave me headaches.
There were always disputes over the water supply, for the rich noblemen had their own pipes from the aqueducts to their private baths, gardens and ponds, and because of the increase in population in Rome, there was a great shortage of water. I understood the overseer’s difficult situation. His office was not an enviable one, even if an unprejudiced holder did become rich during his term of office. On the other hand, I considered the menagerie had a special case and that I had no reason to pay him for what in fact were my rights.
We had reached a deadlock. He refused and I demantled. We were finding it difficult even to maintain a formal politeness in the discussion. I should have liked to leave and let the matter drop, but my wife’s anger would have been even more difficult to endure.
“I know the magistrates’ and Senate’s decisions on water supplies by heart,” I said finally. ‘Til have to go to Nero myself, although he doesn’t like being bothered with such little matters as this. I’m afraid it will all end far worse for you than for me.”
The overseer, a dull man, smiled ironically.
“Do as you please,” he said. “In your place, I wouldn’t go annoying Nero by talking about Rome’s water supply just at this moment.”
I had heard no gossip for a long time, so I asked him what was going on.
“Don’t you know, or are you pretending not to know?” he asked incredulously. “Otho has been appointed as Proconsul in Lusitania and has been advised to go there as soon as possible. This morning Nero dissolved his marriage officially, at Otho’s request, of course. All other matters were put aside as Nero was in such a hurry to care for the defenseless Poppaea Sabina, who is moving to Palatine.”
It was like a blow from a club on my already aching head.
“I know Poppaea Sabina,” I cried. “She would never agree to such a thing. Nero has taken her to Palatine by force.”
The overseer shook his gray head.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have a new Agrippina instead of the old one,” he said. “The old one is said to be moving from Antonia’s house in the country to Antium.”