“My lack of virtue shows that I am of the depraved Claudius’ blood,” she said, “but now you have once again caused me to sin, you must make amends. If you are a man, at least you’ll go straight to Sabina and speak to her about a divorce.”
“But I have a son with her,” I protested. “The Flavians would never forgive me. Sabina’s father is the City Prefect. My position would be untenable in every way.”
“I don’t want to defame Sabina,” said Claudia quietly, “but there are Christians among the employees at the menagerie and Sabina’s loose way of life there is a subject of general conversation.”
I had to laugh.
“Sabina is a cold and sexless woman,” I said contemptuously and confidently. “I should know best. No, I couldn’t find a single tenable reason for divorce, for she doesn’t mind in the slightest if I satisfy myself with other women. And more than anything else, I know that she would never part from the lions in the menagerie. She’s more fond of them than she is of me.”
“But nothing need prevent her staying on at the menagerie,” said Claudia. “She’s got her own house there, which you seldom go to nowadays. You can be friends, even if separated. Tell her that you know everything, but you want a divorce without a public scandal. The boy can keep your name, as you once legitimatized him in a weak moment and now can’t retract.”
“Are you trying to imply that Lausus is not my son?” I said. “I didn’t think you were so wicked. Where is your Christian good will?”
Claudia lost her temper completely.
“Every single person in Rome knows he’s not your son,” she shrieked. “Sabina has slept with animal trainers and slaves and probably with the apes too, and she’s involved other noble ladies in her depravity. Nero laughs at you on the sly, not to speak of your other nice friends.”
I picked up my toga from the floor, swept it around me and arranged the folds as carefully as I could with my hands trembling with rage.
“Just to show you how much your malicious talk is worth,” I said, “I’ll go and speak to Sabina. Then I’ll come back and have you beaten for being a bad housekeeper and a poisonous gossip. You can go to your Christians in the same slave rags you came here in.”
I rushed straight off to the menagerie with my toga flapping, as if pursued by furies, so that I neither saw the crowds in the street nor returned any greetings. I did not even have myself announced to my wife, but just burst straight into her room without taking any notice of the efforts of the slaves to stop me.
Sabina freed herself from the arms of Epaphroditus and rushed up, raging like a lion and her eyes flashing.
“What a way to behave, Minutus!” she cried. “Have you lost the last shreds of your reason? As you saw, I was just taking a mote out of Epaphroditus’ eye with my tongue. He’s half blinded and can’t begin training the lion we’ve just got from Numidia.”
“I saw with my own eyes,” I snapped back, “that it was more likely he was looking for a certain place in you. Fetch my sword and I’ll kill this shameless slave who has spat on my marriage bed.”
Hiding her nakedness, Sabina hurried over to shut the door and order the slaves to go away.
“You know we always wear as little as possible when we’re practicing,” she said. “Flapping clothes only irritate the lions. You saw wrong. You must beg Epaphroditus’ pardon at once for calling him a slave. He received his freedman’s stave a long time ago, and his Roman citizenship too, from the hand of the Emperor himself for his exploits in the amphitheater.”
Only half convinced, I went on calling shrilly for my sword.
“I here and now demand an explanation from you for the shameful rumors about you going around Rome,” I said. “Tomorrow I shall appeal to the Emperor for a divorce.”
Sabina stiffened and looked meaningly at Epaphroditus.
“Strangle him,” she said coldly. “We’ll roll him up in a rug and take him out to the lions’ cages. Others besides him have had accidents playing with the lions.”
Epaphroditus approached with his huge fists outstretched. He was very powerfully built and a whole head taller than I. In the middle of my righteous rage, I began seriously to fear for my life.
“Now, don’t misunderstand me, Sabina,” I said hastily. “Why should I want to insult the father of my son? Epaphroditus is a citizen and an equal. Let us settle this between us. I’m sure none of us wants a public scandal.”
“I’m a hard man,” said Epaphroditus appeasingly, “but I don’t really wish to kill your husband, Sabina. He has always overlooked our relationship and he probably has his own reasons for wanting a divorce. You yourself have many a time sighed for your freedom, so be sensible now, Sabina.”
But Sabina mocked him.
“Are your knees shaking at the sight of a lame old battle-scarred ruin, you great man, you?” she said scornfully. “Hercules save us, the best thing on you is greater than your courage. Don’t you see it’d be better simply to strangle him now and inherit what he’s got, than be disgraced for his sake?”
Epaphroditus avoided my eyes and carefully grasped my neck in such an iron grip that it was pointless to struggle. My voice choked and everything began to swim before my eyes, but I tried to indicate that I wished to bargain with them over whatever my life was worth. Epaphroditus slackened his grip.
“Naturally you can keep your property and your position in the menagerie,” I managed to croak, “if we separate like sensible people. My dear Sabina, forgive my hasty temper. Your son will bear my name and receive his share of the inheritance from me in time. Because of the love which once bound us together, I don’t wish to make you guilty of a crime, for in some way or other you would be found out. Let us have some wine brought in and take a conciliatory meal together, you and I and my foster brother-in-law, the strength of whose limbs I have the greatest respect for.”
Epaphroditus suddenly burst into tears and embraced me.
“No, no,” he cried. “I could not possibly strangle you. Let us be friends, the three of us. It will he a great honor for me if you really wish to eat at the same table with me.”
I too had tears of pain and relief in my eyes.
“It’s the least I can do,” I exclaimed. “I have already shared my wife with you. So your honor is also mine.”
When Sabina saw us embracing so intimately, she also came to her senses. We had the best the house could provide brought out, drank wine together and even called in the boy so that Epaphroditus could talk to him and hold him in his arms. Now and again a cold shiver went down my spine as I thought of what might have happened because of my own stupidity, but then the wine calmed me again.
When we had drunk a good deal, I was seized with melancholy.
“How could everything end like this?” I asked Sabina, “when we were so happy together at first and I was so blindly in love with you?”
“You’ve never understood my inner nature, Minutus,” said Sabina. “But I don’t reproach you for it and I regret my wicked words that time I insulted your manhood. If only you’d blacked my eye occasionally as I did to you the first time we met, if you’d whipped me sometimes, then everything might have been different. Do you remember how I asked you to take me by force on our wedding night? But there’s nothing in you of the ravisher’s wonderful overwhelming masculinity, that does as it likes however much one struggles or kicks or bites or threatens to scream.”
“I’ve always thought,” I said, dumbfounded, “that what a woman wants of love more than anything else is tenderness and security.”
Sabina shook her head pityingly.
“That delusion,” she replied, “only goes to show how childish you are when it comes to understanding women.”
When we had agreed on necessary financial measures and I had repeatedly praised Epaphroditus as a man of honor and the greatest artist in his line, I walked to Flavius Sabinus’ house, fortified by the wine, to inform him of the divorce. To be honest, I was almost more frightened of his anger than of Sabina.