Woes and misery continue on Whitok, where the Whitok Pioneers (4–3) dropped their third straight game, this time to the previously winless Sky Demolition (1–6) on a last second field goal that gave the Demo a 21–19 win. Even though starting QB Condor Adrienne returns to the lineup this week as the Pioneers travel to the Woo Wallcrawlers (2–5), Whitok is basically out of the running for the division title.
The Wallcrawlers notched their second win of the year by topping the Quyth Survivors (3–4) 28–24.
The Ionath Krakens (5–2) made it four in a row, topping the Bigg Diggers (2–5) 27–19. Ionath rookie Quentin Barnes’ showed that the Krakens may be the team to beat in the future, but are they good enough to prevail in this week’s showdown against the Glory Warpigs? It’s winner-take-all at Warpigs Stadium — the ‘Pigs (6–1) are in sole possession of first place thanks to this week’s 32–10 drubbing of the Sheb Stalkers (4–3).
Orbiting Death (5–2) remain in the running for the title, but need the Warpigs to lose their last two games and the Krakens to lose as well. Death hung a 17-7 defeat on the Grontak Hydras(3–4).
DEATHS:
Percy Gaines, tight end for the Woo Wallcrawlers, died on a clean hit by Topinabee, the head-hunting defensive back for the Quyth Survivors.
WEEK #7 PLAYERS OF THE WEEK:
Offense: Quentin Barnes, quarterback, Ionath Krakens. 19-of-35 for 305 yards, 2 TDs, 3 INTs. Also ran for 82 yards on 12 carries, 1 rushing TD.
Defense: Arkham, cornerback, Bigg Diggers. 8 tackles, 3 INTs.
GAME EIGHT: Ionath Krakens (5–2) at Glory Warpigs (6–1)
QUYTH IRRADIATED CONFERENCE STANDINGS
“BARNES, YOU’RE PLAYING much better, but you’ve got to improve your passing.”
“Come on Coach, I was the offensive player of the week! Can’t you lighten up a bit?”
“There is no lightheartedness in interceptions.”
Quentin nodded. “Yeah, that throwing for 305 yards and two TDs, that’s pathetic.”
Hokor’s fur fluffed, then settled. “Sure, those stats are great, but you threw three interceptions!”
“Come on, Coach! We won the damn game.”
Hokor’s fur ruffled again, and this time stayed ruffled. “The season hangs in the balance this week, Barnes. We win, we take over first place. The Warpigs have the best secondary in the league — they’re only allowing 150 passing yards a game!”
Quentin waved a hand dismissively. “Big deal,” he said. “They haven’t faced us yet, we’ll light ‘em up.”
“Pine’s well enough to dress this week.”
Quentin suddenly sat forward, eyes narrow. “I got us to this position, and you know it.”
Hokor’s eye turned translucent black.
“You’re not in charge here, Barnes, I am. You’re starting, you’ve earned it for this game. But I’m letting you know that if you keep throwing interceptions, I’m going to have to sit you down. I would have pulled you last week, but Yitzhak couldn’t have done any better. Pine can.”
Quentin felt his temper boiling up to the top, but he concentrated, holding it in check. “I’ve studied like mad for this game, I’ve worked the holo-sim over and over again. I know those defenders. I just won’t throw interceptions, how’s that?”
“Ball control,” Hokor said. “That’s what we need. We turn it over against them, we lose. You’re doing a great job, Quentin, but you’re still a little rough around the edges. Don’t take it personally.”
“Oh I don’t,” Quentin lied. “Not at all.”
He stood and walked out of the office.
Transcript from the “Galaxy’s Greatest Sports Show with Dan & Akbar & Tarat the Smasher”
CALLER: I’m glad Barnes gets the start. Pine is washed up.
AKBAR: You moron! How can you say he’s washed up?
CALLER: He’s always hurt.
AKBAR: He got mugged, for crying out loud. Mugged. This wasn’t some on-field injury.
DAN: Well, there was the injury earlier this year.
AKBAR: Hey, you don’t recover from a broken femur that quick if you’re fragile, you know.
CALLER: But he can’t win the big games!
AKBAR: What, two Galaxy Bowls aren’t big enough for you?
TARAT: That was years ago, Akbar.
CALLER: Ancient history.
AKBAR: Well I can’t believe you people. Aside from Condor Adrienne, Pine is still the best quarterback in Tier Two.
DAN: But that’s Tier Two! The fans are sick of Tier Two, I’m sick of Tier Two, and so are you. Barnes is the key to Tier One, like I’ve been saying all along.
AKBAR: He’s too young.
DAN: Too young? Who cares! Look what he’s done so far. His come-from-behind win over the Orbiting Death kept the Krakens in the playoff hunt, and he dusted the Bigg Diggers.
AKBAR: Dusted? What game were you watching?
DAN: The one where he threw two TDs and ran for another, racked up 387 all-purpose yards.
AKBAR: Oh, that game. Is that the same one where he three interceptions? Why yes, I think it is. Three interceptions against a mediocre defensive secondary that gives up an average, an average of 280 yards a game? Are you kidding me?
TARAT: Well when I played the game, all we cared about was the win. Barnes got the win.
DAN: That’s right, he wins games.
AKBAR: Well, he’s not going to win against the Warpigs, I’ll tell you that for free. They’ve got the best secondary in all of football, not just Tier Two.
TARAT: One could easily argue that the Bartell Water Bugs or the Hullwalkers have the best secondary.
AKBAR: Am I in a house of morons, here? Am I? Those are Tier One teams contending for the championship this year. The best of the best. And the Warpigs’ secondary is right up there. Look at the stats: left corner Keluang, four interceptions; safety Wellington, three interceptions and a pair of sacks; free safety Alamo, two interceptions; and let’s not forget right corner Toyonaka, all-pro two years running, eight interceptions on the season, averaging more than one a game.
DAN: Look, Quentin Barnes is the future of this team. I said it before, I’ll say it again, I’ve said it all along, Barnes needs to start.
AKBAR: You’re crazy and stupid, Pine needs to start this game.
DAN: Well, we’ll see what happens at game-time. Caller, thanks for the call. Next we’ve got Amos from Jones 2. Hello, Amos, you’re on the space…