The official exploded. Standing and punching his desk with both fists, he looked like a finely coiffed and manicured gorilla. “Out! Get out! English will not be spoken in this office. You insult me. You insult my hardworking staff. You insult Russia! You mongrels get out of my sight before I beat you both to your deaths!”
EIGHTEEN
It was just after 8:00 am when the front desk rang. “Miss Ducat, please pardon the intrusion. A woman and child have been waiting for you outside. She insists you sent for her and will want to see her right away.”
“Bizarre… What’s her name? How long has she been there?” Seeing as the last time I’d seen Galina she was very pregnant, I figured it was her.
“Since half past five. She wouldn’t give me her name. I’m terribly sorry to bother you, shall I send her away?”
I thought for a second and told the receptionist I’d come down to meet the mystery woman.
“What was that about?” Anna stuck her head out of the bathroom.
“I don’t know, a mistake, a scam, a joke.” I said, grabbing a room key and heading out. “I’ll be right back.”
It turned out to be Alexi’s niece, Valeria, with her seven year old son in tow. “Uncle Alexi sent for me. He does not know I am here in Odessa yet, or with you. We must meet without him. He is not part of anything between us.”
“Between us?”
“Yes, between us. Listen, we have been sitting here for hours. There is frost and the hotel would not let us inside. My little son and I have spent twelve hours crossing Ukraine by bus and train to go to America with you.”
I was dumbfounded. Flashing contrite sorry, wasn’t expecting this smiles at the staff, I got mother and son seated in the lobby. I went back to our room and called the front desk to confirm the pair was still there. In perfect English, I was told they were being watched and would not be wandering in the hotel without my escort.
“Jess, will you tell me what is going on?”
I hung up the room phone.” You wouldn’t believe it. I barely do. Toss me the mobile, I need to call The genius Captain Aladdin.”
Alexi’s very private number provided a recorded message for some kind of enterprise. Beep! “Just so you know, your niece and her son have dropped in to go to America with us. They’ve shown up at our hotel for some kind of deal you arranged. Whatever you’re up to, it doesn’t sound like anything to do with a passport. And, just in case you don’t know this,” I added, “your niece doesn’t look anything like Anna. What were you thinking? Her passport is useless to us!”
I snapped the phone shut and turned to Anna. “So, the old goat dragged his niece and her child out of some village half way to Siberia. Mother and son are in the lobby to pawn her passport. Wait until you see her. She looks nothing like you! Alexi either has no idea what his niece actually looks like or he’s trying to guilt-trip me into something. I don’t know, but I’m feeling rather put upon, not to mention sorry for that poor woman trekking all that way for nothing.”
I offered mother and son breakfast at the hotel. Valeria really couldn’t have looked any less like Anna. Her enormous round face appeared twenty years older than her actual age, which was at least ten years older than Anna’s. Her eyes were blue, Anna’s were brown. She had several centimeters on Anna, and at least twenty five kilos. In addition, the child documented in her passport would have to be accounted for to officials.
Before we approached the buffet, something Valeria had never experienced, she prompted her bewildered son to present Anna and me with gifts he’d made in school.
“Lovely, how thoughtful.” I held something made from glued together slices of walnut shells that looked like a cranium. In English, to Anna, “What is it?”
“I do not know. Something for collecting of dust, maybe.” Anna replied in English.
Valeria glared at her, declaring, in Russian, “I have also been studying English. It is necessary for life in America. If my dear son’s heartfelt gift of love does not measure up to your high Russian standards, perhaps you will find this more to your liking.” She told her son to present the next offering. A mosaic of crosscut twigs glued to a frayed scrap of burlap.
Puzzled, we looked at each other and thanked the little boy. My guess was we’d been given a decorative, delicate porous bowl — the cranium — and a hot pot holder — the burlap and twig thing. I didn’t know what to say.
“They are for the boat.” Valeria beamed.
“Boat?” I said.
“Yes, my uncle told me all about it. I will cook, and clean, and work hard on your boat on the way to America.”
“America?”
“Yes, USA, on the boat. Is it not arranged? You need a cook, crew, hardworking and strong for the big ocean.”
Anna glared at me.
“Alexi! What a bastard.” I growled.
“My uncle?” Valeria asked in her comical soprano.
“Your uncle, da.” I sighed. “There is no boat. I told him I wasn’t getting a boat and we aren’t going to America. I thought you were here to sell your passport.”
“Sell my passport? Nyet. I need my passport for America.” She turned to Anna. “Without a passport, one can not go to America. One can only go back to Russia where they came from.”
Anna shoved her chair back into the curtains and stomped to the buffet.
I told Valeria about her uncle’s plans to sell us her passport and why we needed it. She thought about it, discounted her uncle as an idiot, and changed tack. “Why Anna? She is rich, she has dangerous criminals after her, she has no child, and she has no passport! You should not help this Russian; you should help my beautiful son. My God, look at this child. He has no future in Ukraine. He can only grow up to be a criminal here.”
“Well, let’s try that delicious buffet.” I attempted to break into Valeria’s hysterical imploring. I was ignored.
“You are American. My son and I have a passport. I am not a criminal. I will cook and clean and work in your home as long as you want if you give my boy a chance at a decent life. It is nothing for you to save us, to save him. Change in your pocket. Please.” Valeria’s shrill pleading was affecting me like fingernails on a blackboard.
“Listen, I am not saving anyone. I know your situation is bad and I wish I could help, but I can’t.”
“But you are a rich American.” Valeria wailed. Her son tugged at her elbow, “Mama?”
“Your uncle has lied to you and I feel bad about that. I am not rich. I am not even American, and I certainly had no plans to take you or your son there.”
Things cooled down, and Valeria took very little time getting the hang of the buffet. She was polishing off her third or fourth heaping plateful when Alexi strutted into the dining area and tore into her with very course Ukrainian. Hotel security men rounded the corner, and I knew it was high time to get my entourage out of the Windsor Arms. Valeria and Alexi snatched at fruit, buns, tiny jars of jam, and tea bags while leaving the table. Passing the buffet, Valeria steered her son toward a small mound of pastries, slipping several into his school bag on the way out.
Alexi was relentless. On the sidewalk outside the hotel, he demanded ten thousand dollars for Valeria’s passport. When I protested that his niece and Anna looked nothing alike, he dropped the price to five thousand. Valeria yelled that she wouldn’t sell her passport. Then Alexi told us both to shut up. After a pause, he promised to doctor the passport by pasting Anna’s picture into it for a mere one thousand dollars.