Buckler eyed a table laden with food of all sorts. "Bring that table closer, Abbess. I've never known the tubby fraud to sleep through any mealtimes. Let me try."
Seating himself by the bed, Buckler started into the delicious repast, commenting loudly, "Mmmm, hazelnut'n'apple bake with arrowroot sauce. I wonder, should I save some for old Diggs? No, he never saved any for me back in the Long Patrol mess. Hello, what's this? Mushroom, leek and gravy pasty! I say, Diggs, d'you fancy a bite o' this? It's yore favourite. Yummy still nice'n'hot, too!"
Diggs groaned. Opening one eye, he glanced quizzically at Buckler and said in a voice like an old officer, "Wot... wot? An' who are you, sirrah? Speak up!"
Buckler smiled. 'C'mon, you great fat fraud. It's me, Buckler, your mate!"
Diggs opened the other eye, staring scornfully at his lifelong companion. "Buckler, eh? Bit of an odd handle for a chap. 'Fraid I've never had the pleasure of meetin' ye. An' who in the name of snits'n'scuts is Diggs, eh?"
370
Buckler poured himself a beaker of October Ale. "Diggs is you, y'great lardsack, that's yore name!"
Diggs snorted. "Piffle'n'balderdash, laddie buck. I'm Colonel Crockley Sputherington--known as Sputhers t'my friends, but you ain't no chum of mine, sah, so show a bit of bloomin' respect to a superior officer, wot, wot!" His friend held out a slice of the pastie.
"Oh, right y'are, Colonel, sah. How about tryin' a bit of this scoff? It's very good, y'know."
Diggs wrinkled his nose. "Take it away, this very instant, y'greedy buffoon. It looks disgustin'!"
Buckler appealed to Sister Fumbril. "It ain't like him to refuse vittles. What should I do?"
The cheerful otter shrugged. "Be thankful he's still alive, I suppose. I'd try humourin' him, if'n I was you."
Diggs glared at the Sister--he was outraged. "Humour y'self, y'great grinnin' planktail. One more word an' I'll have ye slapped on a fizzer for gross insolence, marm! Now, take y'self jolly well off, go on! An' take this gluttonous oaf with ye. Aye, an' all this mess y'call vittles. The very sight of it makes me ill!"
Deciding to take Fumbril's tip, Buckler stood to attention, throwing the patient a stiff salute. "Right y'are, Colonel Crockley Sputherington, sah. Come on now, marm. Let's shift all this stuff an' let the good officer get a spot of shut-eye. He must be tired."
Any further discussion was cut short by a thunderous war cry from out in the grounds. "Redwaaaaaaalllll! Red-waaaaaallll!"
Buckler hurtled from the Infirmary, calling to Sister Fumbril, "That's it, the attack! I'm needed on the walltops, they've made their move!"
As the sickbay door slammed behind him, Diggs cast a pitying glance at the Abbess, sighing. "Chap's off his rocker, gone bonkers, I'd say. Dearie, dearie me. How sad for a beast so blinkin' young, wot!"
371
The battle of Redwall Abbey really had started in earnest. Like a foul tide, the Ravagers charged over the remainder of the nightdark flatlands, bellowing bloodcurdling war cries. Buckler came bounding up the wallsteps to join Skipper and Jango on the threshold battlements. The Guosim Chieftain was honing his rapier on the smooth sandstone.
"I knew that cattypult wouldn't stop the scum forever. They've still got more'n enough vermin to overrun us."
Buckler's long rapier swished as he drew it. "Aye, but the ballista bought us a bit o' time. Pity it can't be used for close-up work. Well, this is it, mates--we need everybeast that can fight right here!"
Jango, Skipper and Oakheart began bawling orders.
"Logalogalogalooooog! Guosim to me!"
"Redwaaaaaallll! Come on, buckoes, let's show 'em!"
"Gather to me, brave beasts! Woe unto they who would face a Witherspyk!"
Axtel Sturnclaw began pounding a baulk of timber with his war hammer, roaring, "Woooohuuuurrrr! Cumm an' meet ee choild o' death, vurmints! Woooohuuuuurrrr!"
Vilaya caught up with Grakk, who was at the centre of the first wave. She yelled at him above the noise, "Get them across that ditch an' straight up the hill onto the wall. Don't stop--keep up a full charge. Once our Ravagers are on the walltops, we'll eat them alive. Don't fail me, Grakk! You're in command now!"
Flib joined the second row of archers and slingers. Trajidia Witherspyk, armed with a sling and stones, stood shoulder-to-shoulder with her. Flib's blood was up--she bounced up and down, whirling her sling in anticipation of the action.
"Yaharrr! We'll show that scummy lot the way to Hell-gates. First vermin that shows his nose over the wall's a flamin' deadbeast, eh, Traj?"
372
Faced with the reality of life and death in warfare, the hogmaid's dramatic nature suddenly deserted her. "Oh, er, right, Flib, we'll show them.... But what are we supposed to do? I mean, do we actually have to kill other creatures, face-to-face?"
Flib laughed recklessly. "Well, o' course we do, ya blinkin' wiltin' lily! If'n ye don't kill Ravagers, they'll kill you. Just sling'n'whack'n'batter as hard as ya can. Stick by my side. I'll show ya how!"
Streaming to either side of the burning ram, vermin fighters scrambled out of the ditch. Grakk urged them up the sloping hill of rubble, waving his spear, and firing them up.
"Take the Abbey, ye bold buckoes! Let's conquer the place an' live the good life. Go to it if'n ye want enough vittles t'stuff yoreselves, aye, an' slaves to serve ye! It's all there for a night's killin'!"
The first score mounted the pile, their footpaws sinking in as they scrabbled upward. Buckler waited until he could see their villainous faces rising through the smoke and darkness. He raised his blade, steadying the first row.
"Stand ready.... Wait now.... On my command ... Shoot!"
A hail of shafts and slingstones whined through the air like angry wasps. Screams and gurgles rang out from below, followed by a salvo of thrown spears and javelins. Three Guosim fell to the missiles, two wounded, one dead.
Now the second wave of vermin came climbing up over the bodies of their fallen comrades. This time, there were more of them, and the ascent was faster. Jango heard Buckler calling his row to fall back and reload. The Guosim Chieftain leapt onto the battlements, shouting, "Second row forward.... Stand ready...."
Flib whirled her sling, winking at Trajidia. "Here we go now, Traj. Good huntin', mate!"
373
Jango's command rapped out as they stepped to the threshold. "On my command ... Shoot!"
Trajidia was about to loose her slingstone when the scarred head of a rat poked over the top at her. She whacked the loaded sling down hard on her enemy's skull. The rat stumbled, grunted and kept coming. The hogmaid hit him again. And again. And again! An insane strength seemed to fill her limbs. She was screaming like a madbeast, "Eeeeeyaaaaah! Get back, back, baaaack!"
The rat reared to his full height on the walltop, then fell lifeless in front of her. She slung off her stone at a stoat who was following the rat. He toppled backward, struck full in the throat. Trajidia heard the order to fall back and allow the third row forward. She retreated, loading up her sling, laughing hysterically in Flib's face. "I did it, I did it, mate! See that! Two of 'em--I got two Ravagers. Eeeeeyaaaaah!"
The rows of defenders had now fallen into disarray, so fierce was the vermin onslaught. Buckler was everywhere at once with his commanders. Thrusting, kicking, slashing and stabbing at an endless stampede of vermin attackers. The Redwallers were sure to be overwhelmed as the tide of Ravagers swept upward. Some were even now fighting on the walkway, in paw-to-paw combat with the lesser force.
Then the unexpected happened. Ambrevina smashed the ballista to smithereens with a fusillade of blows from her mighty paws. Timber went flying everywhere as she grabbed both the young alder trunks, with the canvas sling tied between them. Skipper saw what was coming. He acted swiftly, ordering the defenders to retreat south along the walltops.