said Rebecca, «and, as I understand it, Julius was his therapist many years ago.»
Tony said, «We`ve been talking about Julius`s...uh...condition and uh...”
«You meancancer . That`s a shocking word, I know,” said Julius, «but it`s
best to look it in the face and say it.»
«About Julius`scancer. You`re one tough old bird, Julius—I gotta hand it to
you.» Tony went on, «So we talked about Julius`s cancer and how hard it was to
talk about other things that were small in comparison.»
Everyone had spoken but Philip, who now said, «Julius, it would be okay if
you were to tell the group about why I first came to see you.»
«I`ll help, Philip, but it would be better, when you`re ready, to describe that
yourself.»
Philip nodded.
When it became clear that Philip was not going to continue, Stuart said,
«Okay, back to me—a second round?»
Looking around at nodding heads, Stuart continued, «In one meeting
Bonnie had some reactions to Rebecca`s coming on to Philip.» Stuart stopped,
looked at Rebecca, and inserted, «Rebecca`sallegedly coming on to him. Bonnie
did some work on her feelings about her self–image, her sense of being
unattractive.»
«And clumsiness and inability to compete with women like you, Pam, and
Rebecca,” said Bonnie.
Rebecca said, «While you were away Philip made a lot of constructive
comments.»
«But revealed nothing about himself,” said Tony.
«One last thing: Gill had a serious confrontation with his wife—even
considered walking out,” said Stuart.
«Don`t give me too much credit—I waffled. That resolve lasted about four
hours,” said Gill.
«A good review,” said Julius, looking at his watch. «Before we quit, let me
ask you, Pam, how are you handling this—you feel more on board?»
«Still unreal. I`m trying to hang in, but I`m glad to stop. This is all I can
deal with today,” said Pam, gathering up her things.
«I`ve got to say something,” said Bonnie. «I`m frightened. You all know I
love this group, and I feel it`s ready to detonate and blow apart. Will we all be
back? You, Pam? You, Philip? You guys coming back?»
«A straight question,” Philip quickly responded. «I`ll respond in kind.
Julius invited me come to the group for six months, and I agreed. I also have his
commitment for supervisory credit. I plan to pay my bill and honor my contract.
I`m not leaving.»
«And you, Pam?» said Bonnie.
Pam stood. «This is all I can deal with today.»
As the members left, Julius heard some comments about going out for
coffee. How would that work? he wondered. Would Philip be invited? He had
often told the members that extragroup meetings could be divisive unless
everyone was included. Then he noticed that Philip and Pam were heading toward
the door on a collision trajectory. This should be interesting, he thought. Philip
suddenly took note of it and, realizing that the doorway was too small for two,
stopped and softly muttered «please» and stepped back to allow Pam to go
through first. She strode out as if he were invisible.
22
Women,
Passion,
Sex
_________________________
Sexdoes not hesitate to
intrude with its trash,
and to interfere with the
negotiations of statesmen
and the investigations of
the learned. Every day it
destroys the most
valuable relationships.
Indeed it robs of all
conscience those who were
previously honorable and
upright.
_________________________
After his mother, the next most pervasive female presence in Arthur`s life was a
querulous seamstress named Caroline Marquet. Few biographical accounts of
Schopenhauer fail to spotlight their 1823 midday encounter, which took place on
a dimly lit Berlin stairway outside Arthur`s flat when he was thirty–five and
Caroline forty–five.
On that day Caroline Marquet, living in the adjoining flat, entertained three
friends. Irritated by the noisy chattering, Arthur flung open his door, accused the
four women of violating his privacy since the anteroom where they stood talking
was technically a part of his flat, and sternly ordered them to leave. When
Caroline refused, Arthur physically forced her, kicking and screaming, from the
anteroom and down the stairs. When she impertinently climbed back up the stairs
in defiance, he again removed her, this time more forcefully.
Caroline sued him, claiming that she was pushed down the stairs and
suffered grievous injury resulting in trembling and partial paralysis. Arthur was
highly threatened by the lawsuit: he knew that he was unlikely ever to earn money
from his scholarly pursuits and had always fiercely guarded the capital inherited
from his father. When his money was imperiled he became, in the words of his
publisher, «a chained dog.»
Certain that Caroline Marquet was an opportunistic malingerer, he fought
her lawsuit with all his might, employing every possible legal appeal. The bitter
court proceedings continued for the next six years before the court ruled against
him and ordered him to pay Caroline Marquet sixty talers a year for as long as her
injury persisted. (In that era a house servant or cook would have been paid twenty
talers annually plus food and board.) Arthur`s prediction that she was shrewd
enough to tremble as long as the money rolled in proved accurate; he continued to
pay for her support until she died twenty–six years later. When he was sent a copy
of her death certificate he scrawled across it: «Obit anus, abit onus» (the old
woman dies, the burden is lifted).
And other women in Arthur`s life? Arthur never married but was far from
chaste: for the first half of his life he was highly sexually active, perhaps even
sexually driven. When Anthime, his childhood friend from Le Havre, visited
Hamburg during Arthur`s apprenticeship, the two young men spent their evenings
searching for amorous adventures, always with women from lower social strata—
maids, actresses, chorus girls. If they were unsuccessful in their search, they
ended their evening by consoling themselves in the arms of an «industrious
whore.»
Arthur, lacking in tact, charm, and joie de vivre, was an inept seducer and
needed much advice from Anthime. His many rejections ultimately caused him to
link sexual desire with humiliation. He hated being dominated by the sexual drive
and in subsequent years had much to say about the degradation of sinking to
animalistic life. It was not that Arthur didn`t want women; he was clear about
that: «I was very fond of them—if only they would have had me.»
The saddest of love stories in the Schopenhauer chronicles took place when
he was forty–three and attempted to court Flora Weiss, a beautiful seventeen–year–old girl. One evening at a boating party he approached Flora with a bunch of
grapes and informed her of his attraction to her and his intention of speaking to
her parents about marriage. Later, Flora`s father was taken aback by
Schopenhauer`s proposal and responded, «But she is a mere child.» Ultimately, he
agreed to leave the decision to Flora. The business came to an end when Flora
made it clear to all concerned that she vehemently disliked Schopenhauer.
Decades later, Flora Weiss`s niece questioned her aunt about that encounter
with the famous philosopher and, in her diary, quoted her aunt as saying, «Oh,
leave me in peace about this old Schopenhauer.» When pressed for more
information, Flora Weiss described Arthur`s gift of the grapes and said, «But I
didn`t want them, you see. I felt revolted because old Schopenhauer had touched
them. And so I let them slide, quite gently, into the water behind me.»