was the central point of all action, seeping into all human
transactions, influencing even all matters of state. I believe I
recited some of his words about this some months ago.»
«Just to support your point,” Tony said, «I read in the
newspaper the other day that pornography takes in more money
than the music and the film industry combined. That`s huge.»
«Philip,” said Rebecca, «I can guess at it, but I still haven`t
heard you say exactly how Schopenhauer helped you recover from
your sexual compulsion or...uh...addiction.Okay if I use that
term?»
«I need to think about that. I`m not persuaded it`s entirely
accurate,” said Philip.
«Why?» asked Rebecca. «What you described sounds like an
addiction to me.»
«Well, to follow up on what Tony said, have you seen the
figures for males watching pornography on the Internet?»
«Are you into Internet porno?» asked Rebecca.
«I`m not, but I could have taken that route in the past—along
with the majority of men.»
«Right about that,” said Tony. «I admit it, I watch it two or
three times a week. Tell you the truth, I don`t know anyone who
doesn`t.»
«Me, too,” said Gill. «Another of Rose`s pet peeves.»
Heads turned toward Stuart. «Yes, yes, mea culpa—I`ve
been known to indulge a bit.»
«This is what I mean,” said Philip. «So is everyone an
addict?»
«Well,” said Rebecca, «I can see your point. There`s not just
the porn, but there`s also the epidemic of harassment suits. I`ve
defended quite a few in my practice. I saw an article the other day
about a dean of a major law school resigning because of a sex
harassment charge. And, of course, the Clinton case and the way
his potentially great voice has been stilled. And then look at how
many of Clinton`s prosecutors were behaving similarly.»
«Everybody`s got a dark sex life,” said Tony. «Some of it`s
like—who`s unlucky? Maybe males are just being males. Look at
me, look at my jail time in being too pushy in my demands for a
blow job from Lizzie. I know a hundred guys who did worse—and
no consequences—look at Schwarzenegger.»
«Tony, you`re not endearing yourself to the females here. 0r
at least to this female,” said Rebecca. «But I don`t want to lose
focus. Philip, go on, you`re still not making your point.»
«First of all,” Philip continued without a hitch, «rather than
tsk–tsking about all this awful depraved male behavior,
Schopenhauer two centuries ago understood the underlying reality:
the sheer awesome power of the sex drive. It`s the most
fundamental force within us—the will to live, to reproduce—and it
can`t be stilled. It can`t be reasoned away. I`ve already spoken of
how he describes sex seeping into everything. Look at the Catholic
priest scandal, look at every station of human endeavor, every
profession, every culture, every age bracket. This point of view
was exquisitely important to me when I first encountered
Schopenhauer`s work: here was one of the greatest minds of
history, and, for the first time in my life, I felt completely
understood.»
«And?» asked Pam, who had been silent throughout this
discussion.
«And what?» said Philip, visibly nervous as always when
addressed by Pam.
«And what else? That was it? That did it? You got better
because Schopenhauer made you feel understood?»
Philip seemed to take no note of Pam`s irony and responded
in an even tone with a sincere manner. «There was a great deal
more. Schopenhauer made me aware that we are doomed to turn
endlessly on the wheel of wilclass="underline" we desire something, we acquire it,
we enjoy a brief moment of satiation, which rapidly fades into
boredom, which then, without fail, is followed by the next вЂI want.`
There is no exit by way of appeasing desire—one has to leap off
the wheel completely. That`s what Schopenhauer did, and that`s
what I`ve done.»
«Leaping off the wheel? And what does that mean?» Pam
asked.
«It means to escape from willing entirely. It means to fully
accept that our innermost nature is an unappeasable striving, that
this suffering is programmed into us from the beginning, and that
we are doomed by our very nature. It means that we must first
comprehend the essential nothingness of this world of illusion and
then set about finding a way to deny the will. We have to aim, as
all the great artists have, at dwelling in the pure world of platonic
ideas. Some do this through art, some through religious asceticism.
Schopenhauer did it by avoiding the world of desire, by
communion with the great minds of history, and by aesthetic
contemplation—he played the flute an hour or two every day. It
means that one must become observer as well as actor. One must
recognize the life force that exists in all of nature, that manifest
itself through each person`s individual existence, and that will
ultimately reclaim that force when the individual no longer exists
as a physical entity.
«I`ve followed his model closely—my primary relationships
are with great thinkers whom I read daily. I avoid cluttering my
mind with everydayness, and I have a daily contemplative practice
through chess or listening to music—unlike Schopenhauer, I have
no ability to play an instrument.»
Julius was fascinated by this dialogue. Was Philip unaware
of Pam`s rancor? Or frightened of her wrath? And what of Philip`s
solution to his addiction? At times Julius silently marveled at it;
more often he scoffed. And Philip`s comment that when he read
Schopenhauer he felt entirely understoodfor the first time felt like a
slap in the face.What am I, thought Julius,chopped liver? For three
years I worked my ass off trying to understand and empathize with
him. But Julius kept silent; Philip was gradually changing.
Sometimes it is best to store things and return to them at some
propitious time in the future.
A couple of weeks later the group raised these issues for him
during a meeting which began with Rebecca and Bonnie both
telling Pam that she had changed—for the worse—since Philip had
entered the group. All the sweet, loving, generous parts of her had
disappeared from sight, and, though her anger was not as vicious
as in her first confrontation with him, still, Bonnie said, it was
always present and had frozen into something hard and relentless.
«I`ve seen Philip change a great deal in the past few
months,” said Rebecca, «but you`re so stuck—just like you were
with John and Earl. Do you want to hold on to your rage forever?»
Others pointed out that Philip had been polite, that he had
responded fully to every one of Pam`s inquiries, even to those
laced with sarcasm.
«Be polite,” said Pam, «then you will be able to manipulate
others. Just like you can work wax only after you have warmed it.»
«What?» asked Stuart. Others members looked quizzical.
«I`m just quoting Philip`s mentor. That`s one of
Schopenhauer`s choice tidbits of advice—and that`s what I think
of Philip`s politeness. I never mentioned it here, but when I first
considered grad school I considered working on Schopenhauer.
But after several weeks of studying his work and his life, I grew to
despise the man so much I dropped the idea.»
«So, you identify Philip with Schopenhauer?» said Bonnie.
«Identify? Philipis Schopenhauer—twin–brained, the living
embodiment of that wretched man. I could tell you things about his
philosophy and life that would curdle your blood. And, yes, I do
believe Philip manipulates instead of relating—and I`ll tell you