follow in the fields of evolutionary psychology and psychoanalysis. He states that
what is really guiding us is notour need butthe need of our species. «The true end
of the whole love story, though the parties concerned are unaware of it, is that a
particular child may be begotten,” he continues. «Therefore what here guides man
is really an instinct directed to what is best in the species, whereas man himself
imagines he is seeking merely a heightening of his own pleasure.»
He discusses in great detail the principles governing the choice of sexual
partner («everyone loves what they lack») but repeatedly emphasizes that the
choice is actually being made by the genius of the species. «The man is taken
possession of by the spirit of the species, is now ruled by it, and no longer belongs
to himself...for ultimately he seeks not his interests but that of a third person who
has yet to come into existence.»
Repeatedly, he emphasizes that the force of sex is irresistible. «For he is
under the influence of an impulse akin to the instinct of insects, which compels
him to pursue his purposes unconditionally, in spite of all the arguments of his
faculty of reason.... He cannot give it up.» And reason has little to do with it.
Often the individual desires someone whom reason tells him to avoid, but the
voice of reason is impotent against the force of sexual passion. He cites the Latin
dramatist Terence: «What is not endowed with reason cannot possibly be ruled
with reason.»
It has often been noted that three major revolutions in thought have
threatened the idea of human centrality. First, Copernicus demonstrated that Earth
was not the center about which all celestial bodies revolved. Next, Darwin
showed us that we were not central in the chain of life but, like all other creatures,
had evolved from other life–forms. Third, Freud demonstrated that we are not
masters in our own house—that much of our behavior is governed by forces
outside of our consciousness. There is no doubt that Freud`s unacknowledged co–revolutionary was Arthur Schopenhauer, who, long before Freud`s birth, had
posited that we are governed by deep biological forces and then delude ourselves
into thinking that we consciously choose our activities.
23
_________________________
IfI maintain silence
about my secret it is my
prisoner; if I let it
slip from my tongue, I am
its prisoner. On the tree
of silence hang the
fruits of peace.
_________________________
Bonnie`s concern about the group proved unfounded: at the next meeting
everyone was not only present but early—except for Philip, who strode in briskly
and took his seat at exactly four–thirty.
A short silence at the beginning of a group therapy session is not unusual.
Members learn quickly not to open the meeting capriciously because the first
speaker is generally fated to receive much time and attention. But Philip,
graceless as ever, did not wait. Avoiding eye contact, he began speaking in his
unemotional, disembodied voice.
«The account given by our returning member last week—”
«Name of Pam,” interrupted Tony.
Philip nodded without looking up. «Pam`s description of my list was
incomplete. It was more than a simple list of the women with whom I had sex that
month; it contained not only names but phone numbers—”
Pam interrupted, «Oh. Phone numbers! Oh, well then, excuse me—that
makes it all okay!»
Undeterred, Philip continued, «The list also contained a brief description of
the lovemaking preferences of each woman.»
«Lovemaking preferences?» asked Tony.
«Yes, what each woman preferred in the sexual act. Such as, likes it from
the rear...sixty–nine...long foreplay required...begin with lengthy back
massage...massage oil...gets off on spanking...breast sucking...likes
handcuffs...tied to bedposts a big turn–on.»
Julius winced. Good God! Where was Philip going—was he heading in the
direction of revealing Pam`s preferences? Big trouble ahead.
Before he could head Philip off, Pam shot out, «You are truly disgusting.
Repulsive.» Pam leaned forward as if preparing to rise from her chair and leave.
Bonnie put her hand on Pam`s arm to detain her and said to Philip, «I`m
with Pam on this one. Philip, are you crazy? Why on earth would you brag about
those things?»
«Yeah,” said Gill, «I just don`t get you. Look, here you are under blistering
attack—I mean I`m wincing for you, man. I could not face what you`re facing.
But what do you do? You throw gasoline on the fire and you say,вЂBurn me some
more.` No offense, Philip, but, shit, how can you do that?»
«Yeah, that`s what I see too,” said Stuart. «If I were in your situation, I`d
want to put myself in the best possible light—not give the enemy more
ammunition.»
Julius tried to soothe the waters. «Philip, what have you been feeling the
last few minutes?»
«Well, I had something important to say about that list and I said it—so
naturally I feel entirely satisfied with the course of events.»
Julius persevered. In his most gentle voice, he said, «Several people
responded to you, Philip. What are you feeling about that?»
«That`s where I don`t go, Julius. That way lies despair. Better, far better,
for me to keep my own counsel.»
Julius pulled out another device from his grab bag—that venerable but
reliable strategy of conditional voice. «Philip, try a thought experiment.
Philosophers do that everyday. I understand your wish to retain your equanimity,
but humor me for a moment and try to imagine thatyou were going to have
feelings about others` responses today. What might they be? ”
Philip considered Julius`s question, smiled slightly, and nodded his head,
perhaps as a token of admiration for the ingenuity of Julius`s ploy.
«An experiment? Fair enough. If Iwere to have had feelings, I would have
felt frightened by the ferocity of Pam`s interruption. I am not unaware that she
wishes to do me grievous harm.»
Pam started to interject, but Julius immediately signaled her to be silent and
allow Philip to continue.
«Then Bonnie inquired about the point of my bragging, and then Gill and
Stuart asked about why I was attempting to immolate myself.»
«Immo what?» asked Tony.
Pam opened her mouth to respond, but Philip instantaneously said,
«Immolate—to sacrifice oneself by fire.»
«Okay, you`re partway there,” Julius persisted. «You`ve accurately
described what happened—what Bonnie, Gill, and Stuart said. Now try to
continue with the experiment—if you were going to have feelings about their
comments.»
«Right, I`ve gotten off track. No doubt you would conclude my
unconscious is making an appearance.»
Julius nodded. «Go on, Philip.»
«I would feel entirely misunderstood. I would say to Pam, вЂI wasn`t trying
to make it okay.` To Bonnie, I`d say, вЂBragging was the last thing in my mind.`
To Gill and Stuart, I`d say, вЂThank you for the warning, but I was not attempting
to injure myself.`”
«Okay, now we know what youweren`t doing. So tell us what youwere
doing? I`m bewildered,” said Bonnie.
«I was simply setting the record straight. Following the dictates of reason.
Nothing less, nothing more.»
The group lapsed into that state of mind that always ensued from an
interaction with Philip. He was so rational, so imperially above the strife of